The thing is this. People value what they have to work and sacrifice for more than what's given to them so some women end up dating assholes who put them through shit instead of a man that spoils them with kindness. Nice guys finish last because they're not appreciated.
Logically, you would think that being nice to someone makes them feel good and because you make them feel good they will like you, but that's often not the case. A lot of times girls don't value your kindness at all.
Often times its a mistake to develop a passion for someone because ultimately you can't control people and its hard to control yourself when you're full of lust and passion. Ladies men are usually coolheaded, not even the romantic type ironically. Most people on here would tell you that you can't make someone love you when a lot of people start gaming for the precise fact that they have this oneitis and want to make her love him. So in the interest of ingenuity let's think about ways to make someone love you...
How do you do it? You get to know a person. You find out what they feel strongly about. What they hate, what they fear, what they really like, what they really value, what their habits and tendencies are and then you act accordingly. You play off these things.
The thing is this. People value what they have to work and sacrifice for more than what's given to them so some women end up dating assholes who put them through shit instead of a man that spoils them with kindness. Nice guys finish last because they're not appreciated.
Logically, you would think that being nice to someone makes them feel good and because you make them feel good they will like you, but that's often not the case. A lot of times girls don't value your kindness at all.
Often times its a mistake to develop a passion for someone because ultimately you can't control people and its hard to control yourself when you're full of lust and passion. Ladies men are usually coolheaded, not even the romantic type ironically. Most people on here would tell you that you can't make someone love you when a lot of people start gaming for the precise fact that they have this oneitis and want to make her love him. So in the interest of ingenuity let's think about ways to make someone love you...
How do you do it? You get to know a person. You find out what they feel strongly about. What they hate, what they fear, what they really like, what they really value, what their habits and tendencies are and then you act accordingly. You play off these things.
A newbie reading your post might get the impression that to get women you be be neither nice or romantic which, ironically, are two qualities that I and many other good seducers share. You can be nice and you can be romantic and still get women. What you cant be, however, is her little bitch. You can still be a Man without being a needy push over.
As for making someone love you.... thats pretty much out of your control. You can do things to influence it (to a point) but really all you can do is be you and wait to see if you and the girl have the right "chemistry" for her to fall in love with you. As for if she actually falls in love with you is not really in your power.
You can be great in bed, you can be a strong masculine man whose not her bitch, you can share in the same hobbies and passions that bring you both closer together, or you can even try to fake being her "idea man" (not recommended) but ultimately you can only be you and let the chips fall where they may.
You can be nice and get women, but you don't have to be. And often kindness is not appreciated, but some women will be attracted if you are pleasant. The thing is you want to get a woman to invest in you: money, time, effort. She starts looking for a pay off then.
You can make someone love you if you know how they feel and are able to bring out the right passions towards. That has nothing to do with faking. It's all about doing things that bring out the right feelings,
I don't recommend faking. Faking as in portraying you like things or will do things that you won't or that you can keep a facade up that you can't. However, showing the best of yourself to make a good impressions and not revealing unnecessary things about you is not faking.
That's my position. I happy to hear any others. Once again the post isn't to be skeptical and think you can't make someone you but to be progressive thinking of ways that you could.
You can be nice and get women, but you don't have to be. And often kindness is not appreciated, but some women will be attracted if you are pleasant. The thing is you want to get a woman to invest in you: money, time, effort. She starts looking for a pay off then.
You can make someone love you if you know how they feel and are able to bring out the right passions towards. That has nothing to do with faking. It's all about doing things that bring out the right feelings,
I don't recommend faking. Faking as in portraying you like things or will do things that you won't or that you can keep a facade up that you can't. However, showing the best of yourself to make a good impressions and not revealing unnecessary things about you is not faking.
That's my position. I happy to hear any others. Once again the post isn't to be skeptical and think you can't make someone you but to be progressive thinking of ways that you could.
I have this concern: You find buying things for women is being nice.
May I ask why?
I don't find buying women things to be being nice... I feel the nicest thing you can do for a woman is listen to her... spend time with her. Look into her eyes and actually engage in the conversation. Complimenting her from a confident standpoint (not a needy lil bitch one).
Associating a feeling of passion with someone is a powerful concept but it won't bring on love... otherwise you could walk up to a football player and talk about football and the dude would fall in love... you can talk to a stripper about money and she'd fall in love with you... I see a major flaw in this rationality... the problem is that feeling is temporary it's not as if she'll feel that way every moment she is with you... and she'll begin to become weary of the same bull shit over and over again.
Peace and Love,
Vic
_________________ Just another guy from back in the day.
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:48 pm Posts: 3271 Location: Paradise Found
Making a woman fall in love with you is the gift of making the woman feel various emotions with you; mostly at random and leaning more on feel good feelings.
It's operant conditioning (random conditioning) rather than classical conditioning (escalating conditioning). It's being unpredictable. It's giving the woman the gift of missing you. It's about stressing her out at the right moments which make her heart beat faster. It's about taking away what she thinks she already has so she chases to get back something that she can't have.
It's making her feel generous towards you giving her heart, soul, pussy and bank account wholeheartedly.
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am Posts: 4170 Location: Chicago, IL
You don't have to be an "asshole." That's one way to do it I suppose but there is a huge difference between someone who is a NICE GUY (someone who tries to MAKE people like him by doing nice things for them) vs a GREAT GUY (someone who does nice things for people not seeking any type of reward or validation from it... simply doing it out of kindness) and what I've learned is women want a great guy... They are tired of assholes. They are smarter than that now. They've been fucked over by assholes too many times.
From my experience, women love me because I'm a "Polite Dick" (as I've been called before) meaning I will hold a door open for a girl.... But I'll still smack her ass as she walks through.
If you can learn how to have that balance of being kind yet not being a complete pussy... women will love you. Don't be an asshole though please. Don't try and teach people how to be assholes. I have two little sisters...
You can be nice and get women, but you don't have to be. And often kindness is not appreciated, but some women will be attracted if you are pleasant. The thing is you want to get a woman to invest in you: money, time, effort. She starts looking for a pay off then.
You can make someone love you if you know how they feel and are able to bring out the right passions towards. That has nothing to do with faking. It's all about doing things that bring out the right feelings,
I don't recommend faking. Faking as in portraying you like things or will do things that you won't or that you can keep a facade up that you can't. However, showing the best of yourself to make a good impressions and not revealing unnecessary things about you is not faking.
That's my position. I happy to hear any others. Once again the post isn't to be skeptical and think you can't make someone you but to be progressive thinking of ways that you could.
I have this concern: You find buying things for women is being nice.
May I ask why?
I don't find buying women things to be being nice... I feel the nicest thing you can do for a woman is listen to her... spend time with her. Look into her eyes and actually engage in the conversation. Complimenting her from a confident standpoint (not a needy lil bitch one).
Associating a feeling of passion with someone is a powerful concept but it won't bring on love... otherwise you could walk up to a football player and talk about football and the dude would fall in love... you can talk to a stripper about money and she'd fall in love with you... I see a major flaw in this rationality... the problem is that feeling is temporary it's not as if she'll feel that way every moment she is with you... and she'll begin to become weary of the same bull shit over and over again.
Peace and Love,
Vic
You misunderstand. Its about getting people to project their passion for something onto you. Its not just a conversation. If a girl just talked to a football player about football he probably won't fall in love with her but it would be a good conversation topic. If they are both interested in football that would be a common interest and they might play football, watch football, and play madden together. But If she can make him feel a certain way about his football career that no one else can then maybe he will fall for her. Additionally, if you can give a stripper all the money she wants or make her believe you can then maybe she does fall for you since she is money hungry.
Why do you want to make someone love you! if they love you the do and if they don't they don't...
Also making someone love you is kind of counter productive to a player lifestyle of having multiple women...
Get a girl invested= best way fuck them good and fast...
Nice guys= not good for seduction(push over/little bitches)
Good guys that are no needy and have a lot of women or the ability to get a lot of women=excellent for seduction and the best seducers.
This subject has been beaten down to death... I am gonna have to start posting again the lounge is weak.
_________________ Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel: http://www.dancefloorseduction.com
Obviously, you would want to make someone love you because you have feelings for them or you have a crush on them or you just really like someone. I think the common man understands that.
I've seen muscle bound and really aggressive and rugged men be too nice to women. It's not about being a little bitch. It's about having self-discipline with women and not being a sucker. Nice guys finish last because they aren't appreciated. They spoil women and women don't value the kindness. You have to make a woman put in some kind of work for you. People value what they work and sacrifice for.
If you're too cool for school you don't have to respond.
Obviously, you would want to make someone love you because you have feelings for them or you have a crush on them or you just really like someone. I think the common man understands that.
I've seen muscle bound and really aggressive and rugged men be too nice to women. It's not about being a little bitch. It's about having self-discipline with women and not being a sucker. Nice guys finish last because they aren't appreciated. They spoil women and women don't value the kindness. You have to make a woman put in some kind of work for you. People value what they work and sacrifice for.
If you're too cool for school you don't have to respond.
I am too cool for school, but i responded fuaakkkkkkkkkk... Re-read what i wrote previous to your last response again.
Also, read the book, no more mr. nice guy by Glover, most of the stuff you write has one or couple of things that are legit, mix with a bunch of crap that is why people give you a hard time...
Anyways, as i said a good guy is not a typical nice guy, there is a difference:
"Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."
I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."
If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.
What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.
They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.
Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.
Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.
Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."
The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"
More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!
Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.
This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".
Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.
You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible."
I just did a video.... Look how the first dude is a "Nice Guy" and the last guy is a "good guy", disregard the middle dude...
_________________ Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel: http://www.dancefloorseduction.com
They spoil women and women don't value the kindness.
Wow.... While I agree this is true of some women the overall statement is off... most women value kindness.
Women don't value kindness? WTF? As has been said how many times in this thread... DON'T BE A BITCH. Be confident... but kindness as bad...
Being kind or nice isn't just buying a girl shit.
Just because you are kind or nice doesn't mean you are a bitch who lets women stomp on you. That is the thing being nice isn't bad... being a bitch is... be confident... be masculine... be a man... be independent... however be nice when you should and be a jerk when you should in order to build attraction or push things forward.
That is the thing sometimes a girl needs a guy to be nice and sometimes she needs a guy to give her shit... there is not this will always work or that will always work.... women aren't one size fits all they are emotional creatures that are steered by them... make decisions by way of emotion.
A guy that is super masculine...is good but a guy that can show some vulnerability and listen isn't bad.
A guy who is a gentlemen and can buy a drink for a woman is attractive
It's not about acting one way it's about you calibrating to what she needs at this moment... Not really a complicated concept this linear thought process of only one way is what gets guys laid by 1-15 girls rather than 1-5...
I still recommend 5 languages of love... I'd also recommend going out and meeting some women so you know what they are like.
She doesn't want a greedy douche bag who's always an asshole...
Peace and Love,
Vic
_________________ Just another guy from back in the day.
I'm slightly surprised by the lack of separation in the posts above of getting girls to have sex with you and getting a girl to "love" you. The initial post seemed, to me, to be looking for a long lasting relationship rather than the occasional sex session with a girl. And whilst pick up may be largely geared towards simply picking up girls (hence the name) for casual sex, I think there has to be some acknowledgement that people are also into 'the game' for something more. Each to their own. But in order to answer the question "how to make someone love you", it does need to be made clear whether you mean deep "love" as in long term, or just in the way of saying "oh girls have always loved him, he's never short of a female suitor!" that sort of thing.
If it's the latter, then it's just your ordinary pick up. If it's the former, then tell me what is "love"? You need to have your own idea of that before you can even start to think about how people "fall in love".
Is it just a higher attraction? Not alone no, as I am incredibly attracted to Mila Kunis but I don't love her as I've never met her.
Is it missing someone's company when they're not around? Well I've got male friends whose company I miss when they're not around. Am I in love with them?
Is it committing to being with someone solely in body and spirit? If so why do many cheaters still say they love their partner even after playing away?
Is it a marriage of love if the husband adores the wife but the wife married him because of security reasons (not necessarily gold digging, but just for instance being able to set up a family and have a reasonably comfortable life)? You see marriages where this happens and the couple have stayed together all their lives. But does the wife love the husband?
Is it really anything more than a sense of duty? Or is it just caring for someone intensely? What if you've got a person whom you care about intsensely yet you don't actually enjoy spending time in their company all that much?
Personally, I am very sceptical of the notion of romantic love. I believe love is basically just having a strong friendship with someone. Getting on really well with them and wanting to spend as much time as possible in their company. You feel like you have a tie with them, mostly because of the time you spend with them and because they become a "feature" of your life. Why do you love your family? You probably don't get on brilliantly with all of your family - and certainly kids when they are growing up fight all the time - but you have grown up with them and they are part of your life. Romantic love, in my opinion, is nothing more than that but with the added bonus of being physically attracted to the person enough to fuck them on a regular basis.
So, in my opinion, you get a girl to love you in the same way as you would get a friend to love you. Why do you love your closest friends? You enjoy their company, you trust them, they are a regular feature in your life, you are very comfortable with them, you care about them and their wellbeing. Get those things and add sexual attraction, and you'll have a loving relationship with a woman.
In terms of the good guy v nice guy v bad guy debate, let's first talk about semantics, although this has indeed been done fairly to death elsewhere on the forum so I'll keep it short. "Nice guy" seems to have developed negative conotations whilst newbies seem to aspire to the "bad guy" image. It's not that simple. It should really be "push over" and "confident man who is comfortable with himself". The former buys loads of gifts and never takes charge in order to please girls. His interactions with girls are almost all to try and "win" them over. The latter can be nice, he can be bad, he can be whatever he wants to be. The defining feature is that he sees women as his equal rather than as being above him. He doesn't need to ask permission or constantly worry about where the girl wants to go or what she wants to eat tonight. Yeah, sometimes, he can do nice things like buy her a gift just for the sake of it, or open doors for her, or leave romantic notes laying around the house or whatever, but he does so because he wants to and genuinely not to try and "win" the girl through his gifts etc. So nice guys can be perfectly good with women, but push overs usually aren't.
So the two conclusions;
1) romantic love = intense friendship + sexual physical attraction.
2) push overs try to "win over" girls and this usually backfires. Confident guys can be nice, but they do so on the presumption of equality, not on the basis that a girl is somehow higher than him and needs "winning over" or "persuading" to be with him through gifts and the like.
You do, of course, see some occasions when nice guys get the girl. Nice guys fall into the friend zone, they don't build attraction first. Eventually, after lots and lots of time, attraction may be built onto the friendship and that is where nice guys eventually "win". However, this is the harder way to go about things. It is a lot harder to go from friendship to attraction than it is from attraction to friendship.
Attraction, after all, does depend to an extent on some of the elements of friendship. You're trying, for instance, to build a bit of comfort along side the sexual escalation. So "pick up" the girl. Then you spend more time with her. You don't change how you act. Naturally, the more time you spend with each other, the more comfortable you become. You start to enjoy each other's company - or you hate each other's company and split it off. But you fall almost by accident into love. Why do you think that friends with benefits rarely stays as friends with benefits for long - you usually either end up developing feelings or you start to dislike each other and it becomes all about the sex and you lose the closeness of the friendship.
So, my conclusion from all of this - to make someone love you, you "pick up" a girl. You build attraction. You build a bit of comfort. You don't try and force the comfort. You just spend more and more time with each other and begin to enjoy each other's company. Then you build a friendship naturally and almost by accident on top of the attraction you've already got. That's how a loving relationship happens. If you build the friendship first, you need to avoid falling into the "push over" category to stand any chance, but it's always going to be hard to build attraction after friendship rather than the other way around.
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:48 pm Posts: 3271 Location: Paradise Found
Quote:
So, in my opinion, you get a girl to love you in the same way as you would get a friend to love you. Why do you love your closest friends? You enjoy their company, you trust them, they are a regular feature in your life, you are very comfortable with them, you care about them and their wellbeing. Get those things and add sexual attraction, and you'll have a loving relationship with a woman.
This is as close to the truth as it can get when it comes to the topic of love. Very profound analysis 7000. Your post also gives clear insights on how we can get better at this 'love' thing.
@Skills: If people just want pussy for the sake of sex, then you're fucking RIGHT. This thread is full of crap. However, for the guys who want to understand why granny choose to leave a million dollar estate to her pussy cat instead of giving all of her money away to that gigolo dance instructor, then this is the shit with so many people contributing their ideas to this thread.
But I think majority of guys just want to come home to a loving wife who has prepared a hot meal for him, gives the dude a massage, hears his stories for the day, and gives him a nice blowjob before sleep.
Obviously, you would want to make someone love you because you have feelings for them or you have a crush on them or you just really like someone. I think the common man understands that.
I've seen muscle bound and really aggressive and rugged men be too nice to women. It's not about being a little bitch. It's about having self-discipline with women and not being a sucker. Nice guys finish last because they aren't appreciated. They spoil women and women don't value the kindness. You have to make a woman put in some kind of work for you. People value what they work and sacrifice for.
If you're too cool for school you don't have to respond.
I am too cool for school, but i responded fuaakkkkkkkkkk... Re-read what i wrote previous to your last response again.
Also, read the book, no more mr. nice guy by Glover, most of the stuff you write has one or couple of things that are legit, mix with a bunch of crap that is why people give you a hard time...
Anyways, as i said a good guy is not a typical nice guy, there is a difference:
"Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."
I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."
If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.
What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.
They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.
Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.
Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.
Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."
The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"
More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!
Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.
This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".
Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.
You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible."
I just did a video.... Look how the first dude is a "Nice Guy" and the last guy is a "good guy", disregard the middle dude...
So a guy is insecure or desperate just because he has a crush on a girl? You say you cool, but the professor is here so listen up...
There's a difference between a.) being insecure (feeling bad about yourself) b. being desperate (trying to get with anyone) and c. having a crush on someone or having a passion for someone or oneitis.
Maybe all three have the same symptoms, but they are different diseases with different cures. If you're insecure you need to build your self-esteem. If you are desperate you need options. If you have a oneitis your cure is to get the girl.
Once again, guys are usually overly nice to girls because they have the logic if I am pleasant to you then you will like me. I've seen the most manly of men do this .This is not always the case. A lot of times you just waste of necessary energy, time and money. Nice guys finish last because they aren't appreciated. They spoil girls with kindness but people often don't put much value on whats given to them. While an asshole puts a girl through shit and the girl values him highly. Its all about whether the girl is investing something. You don't have to be an asshole, but you must make the girl invest. She needs to earn your love, don't give your love away so easily.
A slice of bread you had to fight for is worth more to you than the richest cake. A glass of water you had to walk 2 miles for is worth more to you than a bottle of champaign thats given to you. A bicycle that you have to work a year for is worth more to you (has more sentimental value) than a luxury car that is given to you. Listen. A man that a woman has to put in work for is worth more to her than a man that throws himself at her. That's some common sense for ya.
What makes a man a nice guy is that he is nice to everyone. Being indecisive, not taking responsibility, and not facing fear has nothing to do with being nice. Some people want to be madly in love and other people just want friendships. Nothing is wrong with you if you want an intense romance. You just need to know with all that passion its hard to have self-discipline and without self-discipline its hard to be good at any game because you act on emotion and not reason.
Lastly, everything I say Is true...otherwise I wouldn't say it.
They spoil women and women don't value the kindness.
Wow.... While I agree this is true of some women the overall statement is off... most women value kindness.
Women don't value kindness? WTF? As has been said how many times in this thread... DON'T BE A BITCH. Be confident... but kindness as bad...
Being kind or nice isn't just buying a girl shit.
Just because you are kind or nice doesn't mean you are a bitch who lets women stomp on you. That is the thing being nice isn't bad... being a bitch is... be confident... be masculine... be a man... be independent... however be nice when you should and be a jerk when you should in order to build attraction or push things forward.
That is the thing sometimes a girl needs a guy to be nice and sometimes she needs a guy to give her shit... there is not this will always work or that will always work.... women aren't one size fits all they are emotional creatures that are steered by them... make decisions by way of emotion.
A guy that is super masculine...is good but a guy that can show some vulnerability and listen isn't bad.
A guy who is a gentlemen and can buy a drink for a woman is attractive
It's not about acting one way it's about you calibrating to what she needs at this moment... Not really a complicated concept this linear thought process of only one way is what gets guys laid by 1-15 girls rather than 1-5...
I still recommend 5 languages of love... I'd also recommend going out and meeting some women so you know what they are like.
She doesn't want a greedy douche bag who's always an asshole...
Peace and Love,
Vic
Yes. That's what I said. Nice guys spoil women with kindness and women don't value their kindness as highly as the guy would like.
See the thing is this. Nice guys try to force women to like them with kindness, but thats like the parent that tries to push you into karate but doesn't inspire you into doing. It just turns you off.
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