Hey guys,

So I have a problem approaching girls... kinda. I mean I don't have a problem really talking to girls that i know, a lot of my mates are girls and my number is above average. Heres the problem...

Generally I don't know what to say once I get past opening (not for lack of trying). I go blank and as a result I think that when I think about approaching a girl that kind of hits me and the mind goes crazy.

On the other hand, there are times when I'm not. I was the social sec in my sports club at Uni and while out a while ago when were were abroad I remember 2 of them were super shy. As in couldn't even speak to girls they knew kinda shy. So I told them that I was going to help them get some, so I tried. I was going up to 2 and 3 sets all night trying to help them. Needless to say it didn't help. They are still just as shy.

It makes me think though. How can I suffer from approach anxiety one minute and the next not care a bit and then be back to having AA?

Thanks in advance
Skep

I think a lot of the time, it's just about being random. Just say something. Afterwards you might look back at what you did say and think "wtf was I doing saying that", but the aim is just to engage in conversation. What you say isn't really important. I've talked to girls about milk in supermarkets before. Talking some absolute rubbish about semi skimmed or skimmed and all that, afterwards I just shook my head wondering what the hell I was talking about, but during the conversation we were both laughing and it got me a number and a date off the back of it, despite the fact that in pretty much any other circumstance it would have been one of the most ridiculous and boring conversations I've ever had (there's a reason you've probably never discussed skimmed or semi skimmed milk with your mates down the pub!). It's really all about how you say it. You're not going to be able to know everything about each other in a short conversation, or get into deep philosophical stuff. So just chat about what you want/whatever pops into your head.

However, in some circumstances, especially in day game, there aren't easy opportunities to continue chatting. Sometimes you need to get in quick, say maybe two or three sentences, ask her name, make a quick joke about something around/situational, and then just got out of there saying you need to get going, and that you'd like to see her again and get her number.

Reasons why we all have a bad or good day or in bad mood or good mood.

The question you should be asking is are you opening more than you are not? The more girls you open the more you will get the experience and history in your mind about how things will go and should. Usually approach anxiety is caused by the unknown of what might happen and your ego protecting you from feeling rejected.

Calm that voice of yours more. The more success you get, the more have that reaffirmation you need things will go right nad you'll approach more and less anxiety being felt.

Practice meditation a bit and listen self-hypnosis to help.

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Master Your Social Skills to be the Cool Guy and Get the Girls...

Thanks guys I'll think about what you've both said . I guess I don't open now as much as I should. Tried just getting attention of people passing by but seems to me that everyone either walks looking at the floor or with earphone/headphones in. A little problematic for getting someones attention.

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