I am very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I feel like it’s something that other people just instinctively knew how to do and I missed the memo. I didn’t think too much of it when I was growing up; I just assumed that at some point, it would also come to me as it did to my friends around me. But as I got older and found myself in my twenties, still a virgin, and never having had a serious relationship, I had to admit to myself that it’s not that “it just hasn’t happened to me yet”, but that there really is something wrong with me – something that I’m doing wrong. This realisation on its own doesn’t help much, it’s pretty depressing actually. But then realising that if there’s something that I am doing wrong, there is something that the others are doing right.

That’s how I got interested in the world of pickup. I like this way of taking something that comes so naturally to some people and looking at it as a sort of algorithm, something you can take apart and reconstruct to make sense of it. I guess I’m a bit nerdy that way. It’s like learning a new game: you accept the rules and framework of the game and then find your own individual way to navigate it in order to succeed.

Ok, but that notion takes me to what I’ve been wondering lately: what is this success that I’m after? To me, it really isn’t about sex (btw, I did lose my virginity eventually at 24) or about finding “love”, whatever that is. So what is it then? I don’t quite have the answer, but I’ve been thinking about something that Neil Strauss wrote in his book The Rules of the Game: After having struggled with social anxiety throughout my childhood and youth (having been bullied and lonely a lot), I did manage to overcome that to a certain degree where I now find myself in a situation where I have a lot of wonderful friends and a big social circle. But there is still this one aspect of social interaction that I just can’t seem to crack on my own, and until I do, I will continue to feel incomplete and not in control of my own life. So I guess if I were to try and pinpoint what “success” in pickup would be for me, it would be to take charge of and responsibility for my own presence in the world instead of just taking what is given and making do with that.

Is this something that resonates with any of you guys? What’s your end goal in all this? Why do you do pickup?

Does no one have anything to say on this? Am I looking at it wrong or what? Or is what I'm saying really obvious? I guess this post was very self-reflective, almost like a diary entry, but it felt important to put it in writing and to maybe get some feedback on it.

I thought that I was interested in mere sex for the longest time but a therapist I was talking to seemed to believe it wasn't about sex. he never told me what it was I was after... I think he was implying I was in search for something greater, like my true nature, or even mastery over self control. I spent like 4000$ on nothing (alcohol, drugs, strippers) and that's a lot of money. if I really wanted sex I would've put that 4000$ toward prostitutes or even some nice clothes or something that would help me get "sex" ...instead I blew it on bullshit. so maybe it's not about sex. but what is it about? is it self-esteem?

cuz i really identify with that quote you posted. something isnt right in my life. i have friends. i get laid on occasion (but not enough!) I feel frustration and pain when I see a pretty girl because I've pretty much cancelled out the option of initiating conversation with her. I think it all comes down to control. naturally if i can't make my mouth speak and my body move when I want it to, Im going to feel sad/regret/anger because it seems like an easy and not scary thing to do.

there is something wrong. i think it's an unrealistic self-concept. my mind thinks things are more dangerous than they are because i taught myself that feelings are dangerous. maybe this isn't everyone's story but for me I drowned them out with alcohol and pot. so i don't know what I'm looking for. sex? self-esteem? seeing mad titties? power? some strange control issue? AHH well im glad someone else isn't sure what they are looking for either. thanks for your post

I personally want to stay single and focus on my career for several years, so I smash random girls to quell my strong libido. I can't keep one around for more than a couple weeks or they fall in love and become a nuisance, so to keep steady sex it is important to keep a steady flow of women.

I can relate a lot to what you've posted.

I got into pickup around 16, a complete social fuckup due to 7 years of bullying(now I'm 23 years old). However, pickup gave me more than just knowledge that I could one day fuck tons of women: it gave me hope that I could change my life and become greater than the average person. Because of pickup, I am on a path to set the bar of what a man can become, to constantly improve and better myself. To learn as much as I can and live in "God Mode". To inspire others to follow the path I've followed.

Pickup made me take a look at myself from an outsiders' perspective. Up until I had any pickup knowledge, all I did was play videogames. I didn't watch TV or movies, didn't keep up with celebrities, and didn't listen to much music.

I realized I was truly a boring person, and there was no way anybody else would want to get with me if I didn't respect myself. So I set out to become a complete man.

It started with just becoming a normal person. I started watching movies and TV shows, emulating people I liked and adding it to my own personality. Then I started watching NFL football. Then watching MMA fights.

Then once I felt normal I started doing stuff most people consider "high value" but are too lazy to put the time to master, like dressing well and dancing well.

Anyways, for me success is way more than sex. In fact I'm still a virgin, not even afraid to admit it. I feel that once I have sex it'll be a "success" in terms of my pickup goals, but if all I have are pickup goals and a pickup life my life would suck.

for-myself-vt155283.html

Check that link out, it's my personal journal with my goals and shit. It won't be updated much until I start getting serious about learning pickup, but I thought you might enjoy it considering your post.