| I know this isn't much compared to many others' reports, and some of you might think "What a puss", but others might have the same Approach issues as I and therefore this FR could help them. Also I strongly believe in a progressive method, starting with some small "wins," and then slowly moving up with persistent daily attempts to bigger "wins" until one gains more mastery over more solid game.
So today I did my own walk up direct approach. Again this was my first direct approach ever. It kind of happened “on its own” but here’s the story and the moral. I’ve been making eye contact with this cute woman the past few days at my gym. She must be late 20s early 30s. Quite pretty, say HB8 (and different than the HB7 that I approached two days ago and made a different FR). As I was returning from refilling my water bottle, I had two paths I could take to get back to my station where I had placed my workout gear: one went right through where this HB8 was doing hamstring stretches on the floor, pretty much taking up the entire area needed to pass through, or I could go slightly around which was more open. The old AFC would have chosen the latter. My new rAFC chose the former. Here’s what happened.
As I walked toward where she was kneeling on the floor, she popped up from the floor right when I got to her position, looked directly into my eyes, took out her headphones, and had an expression on her face like “What?”. The old AFC would have been flabbergasted and stayed quiet and walked by, but the rAFC stopped and said (I KNOW CLUSTER FUCKED!!! But I couldn’t think of anything else at the surprise moment) “Hi what’s your name?” She replied her name. I don’t exactly recall the ensuing discussion, though I think I said what are you training and she said “I’m getting ready for the Bikini class Bodybuilding show in November, so I have to do these glute exercises everyday.” I replied I had entered that same show three years ago as a Superheavyweight bodybuilder and placed, which then she started talking about how cool these shows were and etc. I started feeling self-conscious because everyone nearby was watching us (this wasn’t my imagination … I could see it when quickly glancing around). So I bailed out by saying “Your name was again?” which she replied, and I held out my hand which she took in a real firm handshake (my feeble attempt at a little Kino), and then she asked “What was yours again?” which I gave. Then I moved on.
Moral: sometimes you don’t have to do much just approach in their direction and the girl will help you meet her. I know this is cluster-fucked – being an “older” guy – but this was my first direct “cold” approach in my life. I’ve always, like an AFC, relied on girls approaching me, which is really being a big pussy. Also, I didn’t feel any feelings at all because again I used the 3 second rule that when I saw two paths back to my gear I took the one that passed through the girl’s area.
My next goal in my next interaction is to escalate to either “Day 2” or get a phone number with intent of seeing her again. I’ve also considered moving my next “in gym sarge” to a Starbucks which is only about 100 feet to the west of the gym. In retrospect, these two past approaches were pretty fun, so I’m starting to get a bit more relaxed about it. I plan to get further in the next approach “Field Report” and eventually get through this horrible 4.5 year celibate dry spell. Ugh.
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CHAT