GUYS... I have something I need to get out in the open!
Please read this huge pile of "WTF-IS-GOING-ON"-situation with
my new girlfriend and tell me your opinion.

First off.. I have the code to her phone.
She also, without thinking, gave me her FB-pass.

And YES... I know I am a dick for checking her messages, but that
is not the point of this post. I AM A HUGE FAGGOT FOR DOING THIS.
There... now lets move on...

I have been in a relationship with this girl
for about 3 weeks. We live 4 hours apart.

The problem is that she has been writing with another guy
since before we met.

3 weeks ago, I was visiting her for a weekend. It was the
first time we were really together. Up until one hour before I
arrived, she had been writing dirty with this guy.
"I want you to lick me" (and so on).

After I left, she texted him about me and referred to me as "a childhood friend".
After that weekend we agreed to be exclusive.

Two weeks later she came to visit me for the weekend. One day
before the weekend, she planned on seeing him sunday night.

During her visit we agreed to be in a committed relationship and she
told me that she had really fallen in love with me.

That sunday night, an hour or so before she had to leave, she got
a message from him saying ("Do we have plans tonight, beautiful?")

She knew I saw it and her excuse was that the guy was a creepy boyfriend
to one of her girlfriends, and that the plan was actually to see her
girlfriend, but he must have heard.

Just as we parted ways, she began texting him about when she would be home,
but at the same time she gave excuses about how late it would be and that she
wouldnt be able to make it and that she would write when she got home.

She never did, and instead, she called me and we talked untill she fell asleep.

SIDE NOTE
(A random guy which she met the same time we first met, wrote to her for
the first time since then. To him, she also referred to me as a "childhood friend".
She told me on the phone that the guy had texted her, but told me that she referred
to me as her boyfriend)
END OF SIDE NOTE

3 days later he asks her why she never wrote back and her reply was "too much homework,
but maby I could visit you today". But later told him that she was too busy, but told
him to ask her later that day.

Then I get a call from her, and she actually fucking tells me that this guy texted her.
(She only thinks I know him from the text i saw that weekend)
She wants to tell me so I dont get jealous and think anything is going on, in case
I accidentally see some of his messages, the next time we are together.

Later he writes "My plans with my friend are off, you wanna come over?"

... Still on the phone with her, she sighs and tells me that he just texted her the following:
"My plans with my girlfriend are off, you wanna come over?". And she acts really disgusted.

I just adviced her not to reply to shit like that, and she agreed not to do so.

... what... the... fuck... is... going... on?

I cant really call her out on her BS as I am ILLEGALLY fucking spying on her.

Nice-to-know-facts:
From the time she is off till she falls asleep, we talk on the phone. (EVERY-FUCKING-DAY)
Smalltalk, serious shit, laugh together and ofcourse sexy-talk...
We have already made plans to see each other the next couple of weekends.
She has assured me that she isnt "betting on multiple horses".
She has ALWAYS been preaching about how cheating is EXTREMELY intolerable.

If she doesnt want anything to do with him, then why is she making plans with him?
If she DOES want something to do with him, then why tell me about him texting?

My current plan is to act like NOTHING. See how she handles him. Maby she stops
replying to him as i adviced her to do? If not... game over...

Gotta be the first to say it- Dump asap. Girl is cold to text guys right before and after seeing you and sounds like she is a sociopath (if that's the type that can lie easily like that). I have no idea how you could ever trust a girl like this

A few things. It's very obvious you are both really young. So a lot of this will just come with time.

- You have some serious jealousy issues you need to work on.

- Why are you wasting your time with a girl 4 hours away?

- You obviously don't trust her from the get go, so the relationship is already doomed.

- From what you've written, it doesn't seem like she's really too interested in meeting up with the guy.

your over reacting honestly, she may not have known who she wanted before, but it sounds like you got picked. she just doesn't wanna say I was seeing others while seeing you.

and now shes sidestepping the other guy like he doesn't exist anymore cause you were PICKED.

seriously let it go. she was single looking around and now she wants a commited relationship. It's not like shes gonna come out and say oh your my boyfriend now but while I was seeing you I was giving bj's to 8 other guys

4hrs away dude seriously...

_________________
My Boss Idols: Harvey Spector(Suits), Daniel Craig(007), Toretto(F&F)

Let me ask you Asfalten:

How will you ever trust this one? 3 weeks in and she's bald-faced lying right to you...

Nevermind the fact you're going through her shit and she can't trust you either - even if she doesn't know it.

She sounds a wee bit trampy for my taste. My suggestion would be ending it.

Yeah never check phones. Some girls just texts and flirts with guys (but never actually meets them, my GF was txting with some dude for a year poor guy, never met her haha) even if they are in relationship. However in this situation it is different because she is being dishonest bitch.

You don't just dumb dishonest bitch it's no fun.

Make her travel to your place as much as possible. Fuck her as much as possible make her more emotionally attached to you. Get gifts from her etc. and in the meantime go get other girls!! And when you get a proper girl then dumb her like a bitch!

UPDATE:

There havent been any FB activity between them since my post, but just now, 4 days later, as we talk on the phone, she happily told me that she is going to visit him and his girlfriend today. As I sounded annoyed, she told me that HE probably wasnt going to be home, as he is teaching soccer.

But there is no girlfriend... He doesnt have one... Its just him and her..

So far, I am just playing along. Hoping to have him write something to her on FB after they have met, possibly confirming that they have been sexually together, or better yet, confirming that nothing happened.

Next weekend she is visiting me again and we have a lot of stuff planned, so I am still in shock...
I am planning on checking her phone during the weekend..

Jesus christ... Women...

Appreciate the input guys.. Thanks..

Ouch. Sounds rough...told you to end it but you prefer to let her go see a guy and hope nothing happens. You want a liar as your gf. What about the guys she doesn't fb message? Wear a condom with this one, and don't spend a dime.

I am really not sure what the fuck to do.. I want to be able to call her out, but without seeming like a stalking boyfriend, which isnt possible at the moment.

Another thing is that, okay, she has lied about some "minor" things, maby just so I wouldnt get jealous. But nothing has actually happened between them, physically (maby untill tonight?!), since we agreed to be exclusive.

She COULD just be letting him down easily.. REALLY F*CKING EASILY..

or... she is just a huge fucking whore.. no one knows for certain..

I'll still continue to "monitor" the activity and keep you posted....... christ...

This is the problem with snooping. I'm a big fan of Dr. Phil's one-liners, and a great one is 'Would you rather be right or be happy?' Of course, it is very much a false dilemma, but it is appropriate in this situation. Consider for a moment the possibilities if you hadn't snooped. If she is not cheating on you, there would have been no problem whatsoever. If she is, which I actually doubt, cheating on you, you wouldn't have known, and you would have been blissful in your ignorance. Either way, you would have been happy at the moment.

Now consider the current situation. Currently, you still don't know whether she is cheating on you, which must be incredibly frustrating. If it turns out that she is cheating, then the way you found out is still immoral, which does not reflect well on you. But even in the best case scenario where you find out she isn't cheating, the distrust that has been created is a bad start of your relationship. In short, snooping created a situation in which you are currently unhappy and in which all outcomes make you unhappy to some degree. Clearly, not snooping is preferable.

Now that is out of the way, I would submit to the general opinion here and advise you to break up with this girl. The issue is not whether she is cheating, but the distance and your lack of trust, as others have already pointed out.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

I am truely greatful for all of your input..

She has just called me, but as I was currently busy, I told her to call me back in 30 minutes..

In the mean time, she got a message from the guy about how wonderful it was to feel her clit and how wet she got. She replied that it was nice to feel that he got turned on aswell..

He told her that he would have liked to fuck her, but she told him that she didnt want "just sex".

He replied that it was good that he kept his pants on and that it was nice to lie there and just spoil/treat her nice.

She said "Thanks "

He replied that he really enjoyed kissing and enjoying her. Which gave him a nice "girlfriend"-experience...

She then asked if he thought that she looked as good as usual, which he replied "No... BETTER!"

.....................

So this is it... A really nice girl with a GREAT personality... Could have seen our relationship going A LOT further.. SHE was the one talking about spending new-years together, SHE was the one talking about traveling and even spending birthdays together(we have birthdays a week apart from each other).

She is visiting me next weekend, and I am going to confront her there, and leave her fucked 4 hours away from home...

I am having a HUGE FUCKING ONE-ITIS... Should I give her a chance to explain? I know I shouldnt, but I am having a huge mental breakdown at the moment... I am just fucking happy that we havent been together longer than we actually have...

How are you illegally checking her shit if she gave you her FB password and phone's lock code?

Snooping... Man, that's a grey area. I think it's bullshit that people make you feel like a psycho for checking up on this shit. There's a difference between looking into it when you have reason to and stalking her page/accounts 24/7, checking every little thing she does. If you're in the latter you've got problems(Which you are, you have some seriously fucked up problems the way you're carrying on from the sounds of things).

Honestly, I would just go through her phone see the messages and get down to it with her. As someone stated she was seeing other guys and picked you and could be going straight. Kinda sounds like she's trying to gently brush these guys off. You need to address that if you're exclusive. Say you seen her messages, don't be apologethic or feel you're in the wrong, give her the serious "This is make or break, i'll dump your ass if you try turn this on me" talking to. Don't be a dick about it but just make it clear you'll break up with her if it doesn't go the way you want it to. Just be Alpha, be dominant, the conversation is yours not hers.

Bring it up, say you seen the messages and you don't accept that. Simple. If she gives you scuff for it(Women do this) just stay focused on the topic at hand and keep to it. She's just trying to turn things on you so you AFC and apologise to her. Let her know you're dead serious about it, it doesn't sit well with you and you don't want a girlfriend like that. She'll back down and if she doesn't you're gonna break up with her anyway because it's not cool that she's still texting these guys.

Edit:

Ha, nice update. Drop the bitch, nothing to explain there man. Just have her over, fuck her then dump her ass. Let her know she was used and say you seen the messages(Maybe say one of the guys was your friend or got in touch with you). Then dump her.

If she visits fuck her once more and then end it.

To anyone who thinks this girl wouldn't have/wasn't cheating, learn something from this. Once a girl is flirting it's possible to fuck her. If your gf or wife is talking sexual to another guy when they meet up he's fucking her.

OP, dump and don't fuck her or screw her 4 hrs from home. The girl is a sociopath and frankly if you do it in person, her tears and pleas will make you take her back. Then she'll just cheat but make sure she can't get caught. Send a text, dump, delete, block and move on. If you can't do that immediately after getting cheated on, ask yourself if you really can. She's a pathological liar, ask yourself if you want to be type of guy who can pretend things are fine, be nice, fuck her and then dump her. Don't make her being a liar change you into a liar just to get some pussy. Be better than her and be honest and just dump her. Be able to say to yourself that you're above lying to get some ass. Once you change for her, she wins in the end.