Ok, so I have been on PoF for awhile now. I am definitely not attracting the type of woman that I would like to date. I usually go for younger women. My profile seems to only attract older women. Help me out please!

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=53315032

Come on guys.. Don't be shy!

your pictures suck, you look like a loner, post some pictures of you doing different activities and being social with attractive people. Also your smile looks fake and contrived


in your profile you seem needy. "Just looking to meet somebody special" never use "just" it seems like you will take anything you can get. Try to make your profile more picky, choosy and fun. Talk about something exciting to stir a womans emotions, challenge them, come off as high value. Your profile accomplish none of this.

You look like military and athletic I would emphasis that, talk about fitness if you are into that or something to make you look like the decider and not someone looking for a response from any chick breathing

The only real social pics I have are with my ex. She's pretty hot but young. She's only 20 and I am 36. Would it be a no no to post any of these?

Ok, this is what I came up with so far... Give me some input please!

If you like arms then I'm your man! If you like a great personality then I'm the man of your dreams!

I'm 36 years young and most definitely a gym rat. I work out pretty much every day. I am already in a successful career but I yearn for more. I also go to school for accounting. I already have my associate degree and I am steadily progressing towards at least my bachelor degree, possibly more. I have two children who are well taken care of. They don't need a mother but they are a very important part of me and we are a package deal.

I love bon fires, fishing, my family, Mustangs, and a good home grilled steak! I am a huge Detroit Lions fan. We are going to the playoffs this year!!!

I'm looking for somebody very special! That somebody will have a great personality, independence, be physically fit, have no major addictions, and be endowed with a set of beautiful eyes! Oh, the last is a definite requirement!

If you think you and I might have some chemistry then shoot me a message! It's either that or you can just keep dreaming about me!

I was thinking something like the below for a headline....

"Wake Up!!!"
or

"Well Good Morning Sunshine!"

I think the main thing you want to work on is your pictures. I would dump the bathroom selfie and the "Snapchat Special" one. OKCupid actually did a statistical study of their data and how pictures are taken and they found that cellphones take the least attractive pictures.

I'd consider making that picture of you on the motorcycle your main picture. Or take another one just like it with a DSLR. Read this article for information on how to take a good picture:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont- ... -accident/
Find a friend that has a really nice camera and take some good pictures. That motorcycle shot is pretty good, and would be even better if that truck wasn't in the background.

These next two are just suggestions on what I would do, take it or leave it as you like.. I'd remove the line "If you like arms then I'm your man! If you like a great personality then I'm the man of your dreams!" from the profile. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I find when someone says something like "I have a great personality" or "I'm really smart" or something else advertising a characteristic which should be obvious after getting to know them a little bit they're actually covering up for a lack of such traits. And you don't need to advertise your arms because if a woman is interested in that, she will notice it in the pictures.

Where you describe what you're looking for, take out the enthusiasm. I'd just say "I'm looking for somebody who has a great personality, is independent, physically fit, and endowed with a set of beautiful eyes." Maybe add a few more qualifiers like "someone who likes outdoor activities," but keep them centered around personality traits. Leave off the major addictions one, that makes it seem like you've been hanging around trashy women.

Also in the first date section, leave off the "hopefully plans for a second date" part.. it seems needy.
I'd add in something that is more of a qualifier, like saying "if we hit if off, then we go from there" something which makes it sound like you're going to evaluate her personality and decide whether you want to continue seeing her.

Also, I know that your boys are an important part of your life, but I sort of feel like raising kids is a sort of thing a "responsible, mature adult" would do, and on your profile, especially if you're going for younger girls you want to present an image of someone who's fun and exciting. So I would play down the kids thing a bit, or at least not play it up as much as you have.

I've made some changes. I appreciate all the input! Keep the great advice coming please! I'm already feeling a lot more confident with my new profile!

you have improved your profile a lot but never say "xx years young" it seems like your making excuses. Instead I say "dont contact me if you are under xx years old" , as this accomplishs two things, it makes me seem like I'm being picky about woman ( a theme I repeat over and over) AND I know girls under the age of xx never contact me anyway so I haven't lost anything in the gambit. You still need to act like your more choosy in your profile, it will attract more quality responses and not scare away the fuckable 5's Thats not a problem, go to the bars this weekend in Detroit or something, tell some random hot chicks you just flew in from parts unknown Canada and you need to get some pix with some hot chicks to show your friend "how nice the woman are here!"

Also post a pic of you doing something sporty with a group of guys and hopefull it will appear you have some position of leadership/authority/value

also change your name and byline, "sweet" is like "nice" its something that all girls say they want, but they dont want that not up front, like right in your name. Also dont talk about a bad summer or whatever, no negativity in a profile

Ok I changed it to read "I am 36 years old..." and added "Don't even bother contacting me if you are under 25 years old. I am looking for somebody mature."

I've already updated my pics. I had already changed my headline too. Now it reads "Well Good Morning Sunshine". I'm kinda hoping that the headline, opening statement, and closing statement all tie in together.

I did change my user name though. It's now "StangMan22". Is that better?

haah thats better man but stangman kinda sounds like potangman or something - small point though.

Ya you are doing better with the positive, non-needy frame thing, but another very minor point
try

"Don't even bother contacting me if you are under 25 years old - we will have nothing in common."

or

"Don't even bother contacting me if you are under 25 years old -I dont need another girl who is super hot but immature "

Do you see what I did there? Slightly less negative or reminiscent of a previous bad experience and it makes me look choosier.

I do see what you did! I love it! How do you feel about my pics now?

I got this message last night....


Charlie112210 has been deleted
9/25/2013 10:41:00 PM
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So after doing a quick search before bed I came across your profile and clicked on it because of the Bike I seen which is very nice - I found your profile bullshit on the part where it said, if your under 25 don't even think about messaging me and I think you are being inconsiderate there. I for myself am a mother of one, 22 years old and have my associates degree and also going for my real estate license as of right now. - I manage a branch of home health right now and am the boss of 10 people. I myself, have my own house, a nice suv and a lot of things going for myself. Including beautiful eyes. (although) - I do have a bullshit pof account .. I didn't want to post anything of myself nor make a profile for I am not sure what I want to do via date ect .. But have thought about it. So - I just figured that I'd let you know I didn't like that part of your profile! And if you only knew what I looked like you'd probably back track yourself!
Thank You-
Brittany



I almost started laughing. I was loving it. She was totally qualifying herself to me. She ended up being gorgeous but overweight. Not my type but I love the magic!

I appreciate all the advice guys!

I don't think this is a great e-mail necessarily. In general, you should NOT write anything that makes less girls contact you. There is NO purpose to do that because you can always ignore whoever you don't like. A huge mistake men make w/online dating is posting too many conditions (don't contact me if this or that, i want a girl who is this or that) it is a big mistake because not only will you filter out women you may want, it is a turn off to act like that online. You haven't built up any relationship with women so it doesn't come off as alpha to appear picky but you are more likely making girls think this: "who the fuck does he think he is, fuck this guy, I'm moving on"

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