I'll make this brief as I can. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and she has always hated the fact that I smoke. But now more than ever it's gotten alot worse.. We are having a baby along the way and she's making a really big deal about it... It's not like I smoke in front of her or anything... Were suppose to move in together soon, since were having a baby.. But she got really mad today and told me if I don't quit, she won't move in with me.. I mean... how are we suppose to start a family like this..? I understand it's not healthy and all and she's said over and over that she hates that I do it because of my health... but damnit! it should be my decision if I wanna quit! Please guys help me how to approach this... If i'm in the wrong here feel free to tell me... I just need some guidance how to handle this ordeal. Thank you for your time.

Yes, you're wrong.

That is such a disgusting habit to begin with. The fact that you have a kid on the way and a GF that is disgusted by it should make you want to quit. Sounds like after a year, she's been really patient with you. But you've not caught on. It's time. She's not forcing you. She's just making it clear that she's not going to raise her family around such a vile habit. I don't blame her for it.

Yeah, quit smoking. It's not hard to do if you cut back first. Don't smoke unless you feel a need to smoke, and when you do, wait a while before you light up. Inhale less. Soon you'll be down to two cigarettes a day, and then you can just quit cold turkey like it's nothing.

First of all, smoking is not only unhealthy to you - but to everyone around you. You really should want to quit on your own after her nagging you about it for a year.

And are you actually going to pick cigarettes over family?

If you don't smoke around her and in the house, she is concerned for your health down the line since you're starting a family together. Smoking or not is your choice. You don't smoke in front of her and I don't think you'll be lighting up in your baby's face. So I'll be realistic and not tell you it's a bad habit (your choice what you want to do) or it;s unhealthy for others (if you're smoking away from everyone only you are affected). It's your choice. It comes down to whether you want to be healthier for your child? Do you want the risk of cancer one day and having to leave your family? If so, quit...get the patch or the gum or whatever way you want to quit. If you don't care then you don;t care and do whatever

It's not like she is asking you to quit your friends.

She is asking you to quit a habit that does nothing for you but waste money,time off you life span, and makes you stink.

(I bet she doesn't let you finger her?)

Don't quit for her per sei, quit for yourself. Surely quitting has come across your mind a few times in the past.

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I am a smoker and tried to quit. It's not impossible and it's well worth the effort. However let me tell you one thing. If you yourself don't want to quit for you then it just won't happen.

She won't be able to force you and if she does you will resent her most likely.

What I suspect is that you use smoking as a stress relief. There are other ways. And you will feel better if you can manage your life without the cigarettes. It's not easy but it's just worth it.

However the fact that she refuses to move in just because you don't quit tells me that there might be other issues other than this.

It's completely your decision if you want to quit or not. It's also your girlfriend's decision whether or not she wants to move in with you or not. You should both respect each other's decisions.

Perhaps you can work a compromise wherein you start (a) rolling your own to save money and/or (b) cutting back on your habit?

Oh, and she's probably bluffing. As a general rule, I never cave to an ultimatum.

-Wolf

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