When a girl leaves you for another guy



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:35 pm 
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Is there any chance of a relationship afterwards?
Its been 6 months now this girl left me for another guy..
She started talking behind my back to him, and even thought she had feelings for me she decided she was gonna start seeing him to figure things out. She told me all this over facebook, and after that conversation which was a huge shock for me, she pretty much ignored me for a few months, left me totally devastated.
She then paged me a few months back, asking if I wanted to see her, and took real long pauses in between replies. We then met up 3 months ago, talked about life.. I asked her.. why she chose him over me? And she replied with "It just happened".
However she still cares about me a bit, probably not as much as I still care about her.
Is there any chance of this type of relationship working out? What game is she playing?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:28 pm 
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Why would you want to start a new relationship in this situation?

She may even have cheated on you (are you sure she started seeing him after she told you? ) then dumped you. It will happen again.

If you really want to, you can fuck her a few times, then dump her. IT will never work out because in the back of your head you will always worry about it happening again.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:19 pm 
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I agree with above poster. Sounds like she cheated and lied while you two were in a relationship. Even if you get her back you will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:45 pm 
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When you get dumped, you can't do anything but say: 'DON'T COME BACK!'
NEVER ask for an explaination, don't agree to remain friends. Get yourself a rebound girlfriend, immediately, and make sure she hears about it...

Then you'll have 0 to 50% chance she'll be back. And if she doesn't, at least you handled it like man...


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:31 pm 
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I just reread this, how old are you? she ended a 6 month relationship over facebook to be with another guy and yet you want her back still.....seriously move on.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:44 pm 
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Dude. What? This girl is toying with you. Ignore her. Or fuck her if you can. Do NOT engage in any sort of emotional relationship with this bitch. She has no respect for you.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:34 am 
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Sure there is a chance of a relationship afterwards.

If you are so low self esteem that you would welcome back a relationship with someone that hurt you and relish the idea of allowing that to happen again.

There is a great chance of this relationship working out, for her I mean. Think of the possibilities. She can come back to you, her second choice for whatever her reasons are, time and again, just as soon as her relationship with her first choice goes south. What a great deal to know she always has you to fall back on.

For you, well, I don't know how well it will work out per se, but yeah, I guess it could happen.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 11:18 am 
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FB with her and most importantly get a different girl for more serious relationship.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 1:21 pm 
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Quote:
Is there any chance of a relationship afterwards?
Its been 6 months now this girl left me for another guy..
She started talking behind my back to him, and even thought she had feelings for me she decided she was gonna start seeing him to figure things out. She told me all this over facebook, and after that conversation which was a huge shock for me, she pretty much ignored me for a few months, left me totally devastated.
She then paged me a few months back, asking if I wanted to see her, and took real long pauses in between replies. We then met up 3 months ago, talked about life.. I asked her.. why she chose him over me? And she replied with "It just happened".
However she still cares about me a bit, probably not as much as I still care about her.
Is there any chance of this type of relationship working out? What game is she playing?
The answer as to why she left is in your OP, she fell for another guy who either was a natural with women or had a little bit of game going for him, she wasn't getting that certain something from you that she could get from him, so she was sucked into his reality.

Its never great when it happens to you, because I've also been on the receiving end of this kind of scenario.
I known it sounds a little harsh but you need to assume some responsibility for that happening and move forward.

To move onto your question, is any chance for a relationship with her again, I'd think carefully before you want to accept her back.

She probably isn't feeling that initial spark anymore with whoever her current partner is, so she wants to ensure she has hold of one branch before letting go of the other, was she the kind of woman who was always in a relationship?

There are many more reasons why she is showing interest in you again such as she has self esteem issues, validating if she is still wanted by you/others, was blown out by this guy (or another one) and is emotionally using you to deal with her breakup, plus countless other scenarios.

But for whatever reason it boils down to she walked away from you and now she wants to come back, whatever her intent is, I'd be sceptical, because if she was walking out on something she had which was great, the problem is hers, I think now she is seeking normality (something what she used to have, as now her current circumstances have changed).
But if I was in this position again, I would certainly think twice about wanting to be someone's second best.


Last edited by Hammerofdawn on Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:02 am 
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The reason why I dont think fuck buddies would work is because I feel this girl has too much power over me, we have too much in common in both values and personality traits. And I don't mean in it in a needy way.. but more like everytime I'm with her or even talk to her, I feel I'm falling in love with her.
However I'm not being a needy ex boyfriend, because I truly care about this girl, and the only times I contacted her after the breakup is when I wasn't able to hold myself back, which was only a few times.

Now I disconnected my facebook so she can't message me, or play the "I'm gonna check if this guy is still interested in me" game.. if she really wants to be with me, she will call me or text me, which requires a bigger commitment.

I keep telling myself that "I'll never take her back after what she did to me" but to be honest I don't know what I will do... this is the danger with dating chicks while being a pick-up-artist, you get attached and sign a contract away to somebody who owns your soul. Maybe its just me thought, I always fell in love too deep.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 2:26 pm 
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OP

This is clear one-itis to me. You have to LOGICALLY realize that there are many other girls who you can feel these emotions with, not just your EX. I understand they arnt the same person and you may have had something special -- i get it im going through something very similar to this -- but it ended for a reason and she made a decision to cut you out of her life. Make it her loss... and be an Alpha and get back on your feet. It may take some time...and it may be difficult at first.... but you WILL find someone else... most likely BETTER then her.

You have to honestly ask yourself this question as well. Say we fast forward 5 years. She and you are married bc you took her back, have a kid, and are starting a family. She runs into an old friend and they just start by talking... then he asks her out... and wow now we have a problem dont we? Do you really want to deal with that problem? Or be with someone who is going to respect you and love you and care for you....

Your choice as always.... but think logically at this point. Not with your emotions.

Gl
Duke


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:10 am 
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Its a pretty bad one-itis too.. I never thought It would happen to me like this..
And she's still with that guy after 6 months of this, I guess she found something more meaningful then what she had with me. It would be a different story if she came back 1 or 2 months later and told me she made a mistake... but now... After she left me for someone who she feels a deeper connection with, how can you really take a woman like that back?


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