Hi, I already pointed it out in the "great chat, mediocre date" thread: I have a rather good ability to get women interested to meet me, but I seem to be less convincing on the 1st date. This is unusual to me, as I normally got women without dating. So I think my dating frame is off. I am not quite sure what the problem is, as had success in the past and I would say I am a more mature and definitely better looking person now. But I regulalry get to hear "Nice date, but no spark".

Am I perhaps too slow in my preparatory escalation? The first two dates I used to go quickly for the handholding/kiss, with no success (I got one fuck out of it, but didn't like the girl). The last two times I kept my hands to me, still got the "sorry, no spark" message. And I did learn from the last mistake and didn't overdo the chatting before the dating.

Any thoughts on that?

Thanks!

Usually it's one of these two

(1) you look way better in pictures than in person, are lying by too much about your height, body type, etc.
(2) you lack congruence with your online game/profile (this is a more general version of (1))

It is much better to not mislead online. You way get less dates, but good dates vs shit dates. #1 issue girls have in my experience of dating hundreds of women from online is lack of congruence (i.e. they feel cheated, misled, or disappointed and NOT just by looks)

Definitely you should be aggressive though. Confidence is always a good thing with women. Don't be stupid about it though; if you see she isnt reciprocating kino well, pull back and make her think you aren't interested in her. etc. etc. you know, standard stuff.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Thanks for the reply. I usually look crap on pictures, and I don't lie about my physique. I also try to be honest in my self description.

I think that I don't adapt well to the "artificial" surroundings to an online date where both parties know what this is all about.

how's your hygiene on dates?

Interesting. I would think the fact that you know what it is about should make it even easier. You don't need to worry about showing interest, they already know it's there so you can focus on qualifying, DHV'ing etc. You can also be more aggressive, because after all, you don't have to worry that the girl might think you are just friends and you are trying to sneak your way in there, it's all out on the table. Take advantage of the positives of the 'artificiality'

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