Been dating a girl for about 4 months. It has been a bit rocky, some down to me being AFC.
I had sorted some things out that was making me that way, and we dated more seriously in the past 2 or 3 weeks. We've been camping together, going for dinner and just chilling and its been great. However the reasons for leaving her are these:

1. She rarely if ever messages me first, and if i don't either, she says im being quiet
2. Most of our plans are down to me to arrange

But by far the most important reason, she doesnt know what she wants. Not just about me, but most things in life. She's 26, im 22, and shes always pondering whether she wants to be single or not, or to find someone to settle with and marry and have children or not...I suppose at 26 you start to think about things like this more. She said its a recent thing, most likely due to her dad dying last year. She says since this happened, its made her a lot more aware of passing time...

Well i stupidly told her i love her about 2 months in, which automatically puts me at a worse off position.

I left her because i want to be with her, but i get a strong sense that this will never be. She hasnt dated anyone since we have been, but she clearly has no intention as of yet to become exclusive. I have other girls that are interested, and i dont want to waste months of my life with this girl in the hope that we will hook up, only to find later on that its not what she wants.
Even her friend described it as hanging a carrot infront of a donkey, a statement which she strongly disagreed with.
So after some texting last night explaining to her that i think its weird that how we are today is no different whatsoever to how we were the week we met, i feel like there is no progression between us. She responded with 'I didnt realize we were working towards a timescale'. I replied with, we arent, but at the same time we should have progressed more than we have, and i cant fight this feeling that im just being lead along.
She argued that it should just be played out and if it happens it happens. She also said due to our rocky first few weeks she said the spark wasnt there initially, and that i 'cant go more than 3 days without picking it apart', which is a massive exaggeration.

Sure the sex was amazing and i do feel i genuinely love her, but it was getting to me too much. When i explained its best to leave it, she just replied 'I get it', and hasnt said anything since (been a couple hours).

Do you think this was the right thing to do? I guess its quite obvious she isnt that bothered, which is odd because shes all over me when we meet up, and have had some awesome times together. She even said not long ago she could see us moving in together, because no matter how much time we spend together in one go, neither of us argue or get bored of the company.

You did well by expressing what you think and want. The ball is in her court.

Now you really have to be ready to walk if she doesn't change her attitude. If she doesn't contact you and you go back in with something like "let's try to make it work" you'll be in a horrible position.

I had MTR with a girl and I never made her put any effort to the relationship I think your approach is good. Let her also invest some...

Thanks for the replies. I am walking anyway and im prepared for it. Meeting another girl tomorrow night for a drink who ive been texting quite a long while.
Going drinking with friends tonight too just to keep my mind off it. It hurts but recently, since ive improved myself, ive realized she has flaws, whereas before all i focused on was not losing her. Now i realize, i am a decent bloke, and she has been lucky for me to put up with some of the things she says and does.
Inner game is something i need work on, but this forum and the masses of Ebooks are great. Train your Ex has been a huge help too.
Anyway i dont hold out much hope, she works a shit load of hours anyway so id imagine im not on her mind much

I am not an expert, but from experience - with my last "almost girlfriend" who was very busy, I had like 20:80 ratio of initiating contact. She always texted me or called me no later than after 4 days of no contact. This lasted 2 years.

Being you, I wouldn't bother, if she isn't ready to invest/contact, I would assume that I have messed up at some point. And i would just find another HB.

Yeah i think you're right. Shes a confused woman, and while i can seriously see myself being with her a long time and even settling, her complete lack of direction is unattractive.

No offense, and you probably did the right thing but you sound really needy. I can imagine you really did put pressure on her,(from the I love you, to her saying you picked things apart). Here's the thing: If you love her, what's the issue? She's only been with you and its been 1,2,3,4 months. And you've made mistakes. You love her, but you'd rather lose her instead of continuing with only her? Because she hasn't put a title on it? It's not love. You WANT to be in love.My guess is, you're younger than her, more emotional and put pressure on her as girls do with guys. She's been indecisive for 4 months. Heck, I don't put titles on after 4 months. Some people just want a label.If you already have other chicks lined up, it wasn't love and she was right not to take it further.

I don't think he sounds needy. He sounds like almost anyone who ends a relationship that they were invested in. There is almost always some second guessing at some point. The good news is that he posted here, to get objective review as opposed to letting his emotions cloud his judgement.

Sounds to me like you made the right decision. If you have other girls interested, I say go for them. It's likely that in a short amount of time you'll realize you made the right decision. Plus not investing in her is the only way to let her invest in you if she so chooses.

My needy comment wasnt to do with his second guessing. Was to do with the OP's pressuring her for a relationship and making AFC mistakes. He was needy or came off as needy in the first 3 months and only in the past 3 weeks was he finally being normal. Now when things are just getting fixed and she's not seeing him as an AFC he leaves because he wants a relationship. After 3 weeks of less or no mistakes. This should be where you give it time and just be normal and relaxed. It's over now, odds are things were rebuilding and she's back to thinking your AFC, no biggie but just take things slow in the future...No pressure

I'd sooner walk after getting such feelings for her early on than hang in there knowing full well she doesnt and possibly never will feel the same.
As far as other girls, keeping other women sweet at the same time doesnt mean you cant love someone.
Plus the fact that she said 'i get it' without even trying to deny that shes leading me on just proves how little she cared.
Im worth more than that.

Everybody is different. OP wants a commited relationship from the girl. He can't do too much against this feeling. The girl doesn't want this. They are incompatible. The way he told the girl what he wants was OK I think. What would be needy from his part is to pursue the girl when she clearly doesn't want to contribute as much to the relationship.
In this case it's better to just find a girl who is similar to the OP rather than trying to change someone.

I agree with this. You did nothing wrong. I was just really recently in a similar situation, extremely invested in a girl and unfortunately it went nowhere and it hurt like a bitch. Do you act needy? Depends on what you define as needy. You've got feelings and after a while you just cannot hold out much longer and therefore have to make a decision.

Good job making this decision. Even though it hurts make sure you learn from this experience, as these are the experiences that teach you the most. Managing expectations, both hers and yours, are a top priority after sex. Making sure you don't chase hard or invest too much before you guys are official is also a must. Gaming other girls is also a must. Take this from the experience you've had, put your focus on other areas, other girls, and let the feelings slowly die away so one day you can look at this and feel nothing. Make sure to move forward.