Hello everyone.

I've been having a thing with an HB8 the past 5 months. Only until recently we decided that we were dating - not girlfriend/boyfriend but the step before that.

She sends massive IOI's, and at her new school (all students live there the entire school year, and only have weekends off), they were forbid to bring their cellphones the first 3 weeks so that the new students could get to know each other. (We live in europe. Its not college. I don't know the word for the type of school it is, in english)

She said she hated the school for making it impossible for her to have contact with me. She said .. "I have .. no clue how I can survive three weeks without hearing from you".

So she has actually smuggled her phone in her bag, and uses it nonstop in her own room when they've got freetime past 17 or 18 o'clock.

Yesterday, she found an empty room, and hid there so she could talk on the phone with me. We talked for 3 straight hours.

During this converstation i started talking about taking the next step - becoming actual GF/BF.
Now the weird thing happens!


She starts acting weird all of a sudden. Here are a few examples:

1: She tells me to find another woman. That id regret going out with her.
2: I ask her why and her reply; "I am very insecure. Insecure about how well we'd do while im here at this school and that you'd probably dump me because i'd probably bore you and you wouldnt want me anymore.
3: She asks me, what id do if she "accidentally" kissed with another guy while shes there - and regretted it afterwards.
4: She says: "I'm not good in a relationship".

My replies were;
1: I only wanted her.
2: I have no reason to dump you, because otherwise i would have no reason to stay with you for 5 months. I love every bit of your personality.
3: You know what will happen if you kiss a guy. Saying youd regret it afterwards is just silly. Why then do it, in the first place?
4: I had no response to this.


I am baffled. All of a sudden.

HELP GUYS.

Sounds to me like your timing for escalation was really bad. She's already scared of breaking rules just to talk to you and getting caught, and you want to escalate?

I don't think she had the balls to just tell it like it is to you. I'd back off and play it cool, tell her you just missed her and all that and that you're in a better place. I don't think you're in bad shape by any means, but it's time for a little push pull and let her miss you.

Yeah, I agree. Damn it.

Well today she told me, after having been on some sort of a introduction trip, that she was very tired. She didnt want me to write her tomorrow as she would not have time to respond the rest of the week. So i guess this is the right time to let her 'miss' me.

Step back bud. Any time a women confesses some deeper feelings for you, I see that as a time to grab the upper hand and make it yours. Every relationship has the reacher and the settler. You laid out way too much in your rebuttals back to her. You should have said that she needs to do what she has to do, that you guys have a good time together and at least you know that and it will be what it will be. Very vague. Because you have something more important to do than sit and talk for 3 hours....remember lol

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Yeah, perhaps I did make myself too available.

But damn it. She is so insecure and flirtatious that I feel that if I just let go for a day or two, she might get hooked to another guy who shows her interest.

So why would you want that ? Look out for what's in YOUR best interest

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Well, deep down I really want it to work. It's rare that I have such a strong chemistry and as much fun as I've had with her the last 5 months. So in some way, it was in my best interest. It was/is a hard task to accomplish. I don't know - maybe im just overthinking it.