I was doing Day 6 of the Stylelife Challenge and one of the mission involves giving compliment to 4 different women. It has to be a 'spontaneous compliment' and given in such a way that it is sincere and not trying to hit on and flatter her. One of the tips it gave was comment on the specific things like her hair, shoes, shirt etc. and not compliment her like how every other guys do like "you're hot" and "you're cute".

Overall I did horribly in this mission, I tried to give some compliment after opening and getting to know a bit of each other. It obviously came across as insincere, trying to flatter and hit on her. Here are some of the compliment that I tried to give: "I like your blue sweater... it makes you fit in (my mind went completely blank when trying to say something about the colour blue)", "I like your earrings, looks really cool".

I know about negs and can deliver it really well, like disqualifying the target. But when it comes to complimenting - the other half of push-pull, which is qualifying - I'm really bad with it and definitely an area I need to work on. Do you guys have any tips and ideas for me to improve this particular sticking point of mine??

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You only have 2 choices; either you cry and accept who you are, or get your ass out there and try to change yourself.

Well like you said - the compliment has to be genuine. If you can't think of a reason why her blue sweater was attractive, then you might want to consider whether you actually found it attractive.

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Preston's Game Log - Please critique

I don't get where this idea that telling a girl she's cute or sexy or whatever is bad because "every other guy says it". Actually, every guy doesn't say it other than the ones that are getting laid regularly. Chicks go nuts for a confident guy who's unambiguously interested in them. If you tell a girl you think she's hot and show her with your body that you like her you are going to find out really fast where you stand.

No more 30 minute conversations that go nowhere (fuck I hate these, used to constantly fall into this well and still do sometimes). You find out right away if she's available and/or up for it.

It's only creepy if she's clearly given you a red light and you persist.

Be direct, be unafraid, go for it and stop at the red lights, because going through a red is against the law!!

Compliments on her clothing and accessories shouldn't just be given as "Hey, I like your shoes." instead... you should say something like "Hey, I like your shoes. Where did you get them?" or you could even push it to the point where it's almost a back handed compliment... "Hey, I like your shoes. I saw them on clearance at Target. Where did you get them?"

However, there is nothing wrong with telling a girl "You're sexy." I don't like to use "You're cute." because "cute" is something that her mother calls her. A guy who wants to fuck her brains out is someone who calls her "sexy." Also, the timing of your compliments is important. I will often interrupt girls as they are talking and say things like "I just realized that you are really sexy" or something along those lines. As if I didn't approach her because I thought she was sexy but all of the sudden realized it. Which is usually true... I easily get turned off by a girl so I will go into a set having no expectations of the girl actually being sexy (especially if she has her back to me. Her ass might be in place but she doesn't have a cute face... No thanks.)

ahhhh I think I'm starting to get it; so the best way to do it is to initially act disinterested and then suddenly interrupt the conversation by complimenting directly as if she earned your attention. I also like the idea of inserting a question at the end of the compliment as something to carry on the conversation.

I don't really like going in directly and say "you're sexy" to a target right away; it's effective for some people but you need a lot of confidence to do it and DHV a lot before opening non-verbally, and it's also very prone to frighten the target. I just overcame approach anxiety, I can talk to strangers with relative ease compared to the past but I'm still not very good at dealing with it yet. Though I will definitely try the direct game some day for the experience.

I prefer Mystery's style of indirect game, go in a set in a friendly manner and lock into the set (A1), demonstrate active disinterest to the target by negging (A2), and then that's where direct compliment come into play if the target shows IOIs (A3).

Thanks for the pointer guys, was really helpful and I'll definitely practice with the ideas you gave me.

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You only have 2 choices; either you cry and accept who you are, or get your ass out there and try to change yourself.

I usually don't start with a compliment, and do not give them out very often. I really bust a girls balls before I give out a compliment. Since my compliments are few and far between they seem sincere.

According to Joshua Pellicer, the best way to deliver a compliment is to compliment the person in such a way that they cannot respond back by thanking you or whatever. This impresses them more since you weren't saying something nice about them to get a positive response from them.

One example might be walking up to a girl and opening her then in the middle of talking to her you suddenly look at her and say, "You have the most amazing hair. It's very sexy, which reminds me... I'm almost out of shampoo. Do you know this area well? Where could I buy shampoo at this time of night? (looking up and to the right) Do I have enough money on me to buy shampoo? Yes, I have enough on me so that's no problem."

I haven't personally tried it.

Another line of thinking is that compliments work differently on different personality styles. If the girl is a "Tester" she will feel uncomfortable getting a compliment whereas if she's an "iNvestor" she'll look at you carefully to see if you really mean it.

I will just warn you that females on the autism spectrum or with social anxiety HATE negs. Also, they tend to be clueless to when a guy is hitting on them so you have to be SUPER CLEAR AND DIRECT with those type of women. Also keep in mind that women with AS are also hard to get. They don't play hard to get. They simply are, due to their high levels of disinterest towards most people in general and the fact that they don't have the best skills when it comes to reading people or flirting. But get one in love and they'll truly love you with a passion. However, they tend to also be super sensitive so running too much game will scare them off / push them away.

Some girls are different. Keep that in mind.

Oh for Godsake NEVER say to a girl your sexy! Don't you idiots know ANYTHING? She'll just see it that you want to get into her knickers and most of them will cringe! Talk about fucking desperate. It's no wonder so many of you get so many knock backs. You come across as absolutely dying for a fuck and no decent girl likes that creepy look. Maybe say you're sexy to a street walker and you'll definitely get lucky but please, not to some poor girl walking down the road/in a shop/on a train/whatever. How about 'Your hair is lovely ... like it's been in a great shampoo ad' or 'Your eyes are very striking .. and you have two which is good' Something like that. Not go from zero to SEX in 0.5 seconds you bozos. Chicks don't dig it and they'll think your a knuckle scraping sleaze ball. Use your brains! Mentioning anything sexual about a woman will set you back big time. They've heard it all before.

Yeah, I'll tell that to the 10 that I made out with and was grabbing my cock after 30 minutes on Saturday night (have to wait to fclose due to 2 set dynamics, meh). She fucking HATED it... Lol...

If you are a truly confident guy you can say almost anything. This may be a shock to your system, but girls actually LIKE to have sex, they also LIKE it when confident, strong guys are honest and unashamed about their intentions, but also respect a girls boundaries. Thing is, you never know where the boundary is until you get there, to get there you have to push and it's best to find the limit as fast as possible. Otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Now whispering "your sexy" into their ear may not be the best move during the day, but for night game it's awesome. Especially late in the night. Earlier on in the night or during the day "you're cute/you look nice" or something along those lines is very effective as well.

But hey, don't believe me. Not like I learned it from some of the best guys in the world and its driven my game through the roof or anything...

You are absolutely right. I tried negging girls in a playful way in classes and it seem to have offended them. I am majoring science in college so you can pretty much guess that the girls in my class are not really that socially calibrated (well the guys as well). Most of them are always shy and make it seem impossible for me to talk to them.

Quite recently I went to a college party, opened up a set, received a little IOIs but I totally blew it up because I negged my target. I playfully (with a smile of course) gave her a palm read and said, "Apparently you are a naughty girl and my mum told me to avoid girls like you." and that got her into a competitive and defensive state which of course didn't end well.

Right now I am working on calibrating when to qualify and when to disqualify because it MATTERS a lot, do it wrong and you're pretty much done for. In classes usually I just skip the disqualify step and just go into deep-diving (or connection building) right away, it works so much better.

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You only have 2 choices; either you cry and accept who you are, or get your ass out there and try to change yourself.

Mattr you know you are arguing with some butch dike right? Just ignore that troll, of course you are spot on with your initial post, shes been spamming this forum with nonsense like that for a while now, I'm working to get her banned.

zexphyrium you didn't fail, the reason you didn't get a good response was your timid approach which wasn't with what you were saying, girls will always respond poorly to external lack of confidence when saying inherently confident statements because its inconsistent. You actually did fine, just keep doing it until your confidence catches up with whats coming out of your mouth, then you will see a huge difference in how woman react. And like Mattr said, dont go with the pusillanimous banal prattle indirect route if you dont have to, I've been down that primrose path for years and its a bad way to go as a stranger with no innate social value.

Ah lol, well that makes sense. What would the net be without trolls?

Oh and yeah should add I agree with the autism thing regarding negs. Never neg a girl with social anxiety, never ever. At most some light teasing, but only if you are confident she knows you like her.

The main thing with these girls is to be really nice to them. If you like something about them tell them you do and tell them why. Obviously stay confident and in never drop frame, you just have to build more comfort and be really non-threatening. Basically show genuine interest in them and genuinely want to find out who kind of person they really are. Be careful though, they will fall in love with you if you aren't.

Saying that, if you are really nice with these girls you can still be very direct with your sexual interest, you just have to keep the escalation pace slow.

Instead of making the compliment out of the blue, and it being based on something specific to her, make it relevant to you some how.

Tell her a joke or a story and when she laughs or agrees with you tell her that most people don't normally get it, so you can tell she is really smart. Or talk about how you like long hair on girls and be like "See, your hair.. you have nice hair. That's what I like." It's a slight nuance to simply stating "I like your hair."

I usually ease off on the negs at first and only compliment when I'm able to control the compliment like the way I described. Then you can always neg if the compliment comes off as too needy.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn