Hey guys. I really could use ur help..

Met this girl at Starbucks. She kept giving me signs of interest but I didnt approach and she left(with her friend). So, almost an hour later I decide to leave and meet her sitting outside in front of the entrance. She said 'Hey' we had a convo, she asks for my facebook info, I get her number. Then she asked about my plans 4 the weekend. I said I'm free, asked her about hers and she said she didnt have any. I asked her if she'd like to catch a movie w/ me. She says:'Yeah, that would be awesome, I just gotta hide it from my bf'.. I was like 'why would u ask for my info and gave ur number if u have a bf?' She replied 'Well, he's a real jerk and I'm prolly gonna breakup w/ him by the time we go out'. We txted each other for a bit. 2 days later her bf dumps her. That hit her hard. We messaged on fb on Friday that week and when it came to going out on the weekend topic she said she's got other plans to which I said ' I thought you didn't have any plans for this weekend. K, let me know if your schedule clears up. Otherwise we can meet up next week
I'm going to the gym. Ttyl'.. She txted me 1.5 weeks later and asked about my plans for the weekend. There were some issues but we went out. Nothing physical happened(I didnt want to rush anything - prolly was my big mistake there).. After the date she sent that she egnjoyed our date and asked why I didnt try to put my arm around her and would I kiss her. To which I said that I didnt wanna rush things or make her feel uncomfortable.. She said that I'm very cute and she wouldnt feel uncomfortable. A few days later she sent me her nude pics.. And after that everything started going wrong:/ She kept finding excuses to avoid hanging out but at the same time she did txt me often. Then she asked me if I'd like to become her bf.. We txted about it and I agreed. She changed her status on fb to 'in relationship'
Then we went out on Monday this week and it was real bad. We met at her school(she's 18) and she was with her friend. Her friend kept following us for like 20min. Then her friend left and we went outside. She kept complaining that its hot and seemed nervous. Then we sat down in front of a building and she wouldnt let me hold her hand or anything.. And then her ex showed up, they had a short convo, she said she needed to talk w/ him about smthg, gave me a hug and walked him to his car. I was like wtf? Sent her a 'wtf message' we had a convo about that. She said her ex doesnt give a shit about her and he wants to eventually find another gf. And that she's interested in me. I really like this girl so I didnt let her go after that.. We went out today. Time to time she was texting to her ex and basically telling him about what we were doing(I could see some of the txts). One of the texts was 'hes rubbing my hand and I dont think he'll breakup with me if I kiss him or smthg' another one was 'too late -we already kissed'. So, we did have a kiss. Actually a few. But they were short. And then she wouldnt let me kiss her more saying 'next time'. After the movie we walked around and I drove her home..And she said she's not sure about hanging out tomorrow cus she wants to hang w/ her friend(a girl) who's about to leave to the army in september
What do u think about all this? Playing hard to get? Trying to get her bf back? I'm lost here:/
What should I do next? Is there a way to figure out she's into me?
I mean is there anything I could do here?

P.S. I'm not good in dating women so I prolly made alot of mistakes. We txted each other alot, too. Like over 400-500 messages since we've met

Stop being such a pussy man.


And this girl seems like she is using you as her emotional tampon...

I think ur right about that -it does feel like she's using me.. Is there a way to turn that into a relationship? Or at least to fuck her? What would be my best strategy here?

She txted today that our date was cool. But just now she txted that she wants to take things very slow and insists on holding off on kissing for a little bit.. Why could that be? Is there anything I could counter it with?

You want to start by finding humor in her demands. A womans demands are comedy because 9 times out of 10 they have no idea of what they want. It is the mans job to show them what it is they want. And they want me.. and you too if you believe they do.

You're overthinkin, over analyzing, and being a bit wimpy if im being honest. Womens intuition is 10 times stronger than a mans. Therefore she can intuitively sense everything you're feeling and doing. She may not know on a conscious level, but on a subconscious level her attraction for you will begin to lessen the more in more you stress over her.

Do you think she's posting on a forum on what to do about you? How would you feel if she stumbled upon this very post and knew it was you?

Well.. guess what? She knows. She can feel it.

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Well.. Things r just getting better and better:/ She wants to friendzone me know. Says she wants to become friends first and get to know each other first and then see where it goes. Cus she thinks we r moving too fast and thats what happened w/ her & her ex who broke up w/ her a few weeks ago.. What do I answer to that?

Did you not read what I just wrote dude? Read it again.


Say " Awesome. I think thats good idea."

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She's using use a pawn to re-gain status with her ex.

There are a few glaring issues w the situation:
1) She's 18 (no 18 y.o. I've ever know of had her head screwed on properly)
2) She was so quick to make you her bf and to publicize it a-la-Facebook style so her ex (most likely) would see
3) She is still talking to him, and even doing so in person in front of you

The reason she didn't want you to hold her hand in front of her friend is that the friend knows the deal, and she likely didn't want her ex to find out in spite of her changed FB status. Holding hands or any portrayal of intimacy can be a deal breaker for somebody getting back together with an ex.

Find a girl who's worth your time that wont use you to win back her ex. This is all ego on her part.

Thanks for the feedback guys. I really appreciate it. Especially to n2thevoid. I think you are totally right. And it seems like her ex wants to keep her around for now just in case he needs a fuck cus he told her not to kiss with me when we were at the movies(although we did and she txted him that we did) and also he told her 'if u ever fuck with that guy we'll never ever have sex again' but at the same time he tells her that he wont date her again and eventually is gonna find a gf..
To skillz: I know humor helps alot and I understand what ur saying &I agree but I dont think I've got a good sense of humor. Especially given the fact that I live in US but I'm not a native speaker.
Yesterday everything got even more fucked up cus she kept insisting on becoming just friends 4 now until we get to know each other better and I eventually told her that we can be friends for now but if we dont work out in a few dates then she wont see me again. She got pissed at that. Alot. I read skillz's reply later but it was too late. This morning I told her I was drunk yesterday and that on a second thought I think its awesome &I think its a good idea.. She's still angry though.Here's 1 of her recent replies: 'No u still said that u wont be my friend if we dont workout. That's stupid'
I know I pretty much fucked it up. At least it will be an experience. Again I appreciate any feedback - good or bad. Thank you all. I def need to work on my skills and I'll start w/ reading as many topics on this forum as possible, applying what I've read in real life and then asking questions on here. Hope on ur assistance.
But what should I do now tho? Just keep txting with her? Or ignore her? Why did she get pissed if she doesnt care? And she keeps txting me?

Sounds like you talk to her way too much. Freeze out for a.couple of days might help you out. Since you have framed the convo as you will walk away, you need to show her you're serious by backing away. She will know you're full of shit if you keep chasing her. Give her a short absence so she can experience a loss, to make her realise that you will walk away. When you contact her again be direct. Make plans to see her, escalate, isolate and Fuck her!

Cheers
Mixar

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wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

Tnx, mixar. What if she keeps txting tho? Just ignore her, right? &I alrdy txted her that we can be friends 4 now basically. Maybe I should use some of those negs/games and stuff from the forum? Or just totally ignore her 4 2-3 days? &what do I answer if she inquires why I ignored her for 2-3days/why I'm ignoring her? Cus I'm almost sure she'll ask that? Whats a good answer?

when we say to stop messaging her that's exactly what we mean.
if she messages you, don't reply. She will nag you, and may even abuse you for not replying, that's when you know the freeze out is working - she gets upset that you are not talking to her.

After 3-4 days, message her about something that you did together. don't talk about why you stopped messaging her, even if she demands that you tell her. You need to own and lead the interaction. By answering her questions, she is leading - don't answer her questions!!!! Ask here new questions about other stuff, reframe the interaction so you look like you don't care if she is around. Tell a story about something interesting you did during the days you didn't message her, if it was fun, she may feel jealous that you didn't invite her......

Does this give you a better idea of what to do??

Cheers

Mixar

_________________
wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

Tnx 4 the advice

I didn't txt her since last Saturday. Surprisingly enough she didn't txt me at all. However, I just got a txt from her "So much 4 keeping in touch with me and staying friends?-_- u haven't txt me all week'. Should I wait some time b4 I txt her back? &btw, whats the best way to reframe the interaction so I look like I don't care if she is around?

Listen dude.. and take my advice here

IGNORE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHe's baiting you into losing.. Thats not how you start a conversation. Don't accept it. IGNORE IT.. She'll try again.

If you don't listen; you're going to lose her again.

Ignore her bro..Trust me. Ignore her. She'll try again in a better way.

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This was tough to read. And not just because I'm assuming you're a Russian speaker and should have above average natural game with women (pointless bias since I'm also a Russian speaker).

It was a tough read mainly because she's playing high school games with you and you're going along with it. Truth is, with the amount of investment you have right now, and with her situation, she's obviously using you. You're not even a plan B. Do you want to be just friends with her? Do you like being used by women? Are you 16 or younger? If you answered no to any of those questions, stop talking to her.

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