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This is what happens when you continue to game while in a relationship. At some point, you have to be there for her when she needs you. Sounds to me like you chose to show dominance and lack of neediness by simply ignoring her requests for attention. Now, she found some guy that showers her with attention, and it feels good. Now she's addicted to it. She's not going to let it go at this point, so an ultimatum is not going to work.
In my estimation, this relationship is dead unless you take actions to save it. She's moved on emotionally and is basically trying to avoid breaking up with you by attempting to create problems such that you just break up with her.
If you want to save the relationship, my advice is for you to tell her you are sorry if you did neglect her or not support her when she felt like she needed you for that. Tell her you understand why she'd be upset about it, because you were upset when she was not really there for you. Tell her life is better when you could use someone for support and someone is there. DO NOT PROMISE HER YOU"LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER! Just let her know you understand what she's saying, and after that, go no contact and follow through with Heywood's suggestion.
The idea behind my suggestion is to show her some empathy, and then give her time and space for your words to sink in and let her begin to think that maybe she is losing you when in fact, you could be there for her more in the future or be more of what she thinks she wants or needs. Couple that with some other woman being interested in you, and I think that's your best chance. And if it fails, what the hell, you've got a new woman who's interested in you, right?
Good luck.
The first 2/3 of this I was in complete agreement but dont understand the last part about bringing doubt and jealousy into it. Seems like you want him to be honest and open and empathic but to still use jealousy to keep her. Maybe you can clarify. Should he drop the games he may have been playing (dont know because she might just be a bitch, the OP has to look at his actions and if her reactions are justified) or should he continue to play games?