hey guys, i hope this is is ok to post in this forum, its borderline this topic. i could use some advice on a damaged situation, to make a long story short, my friend was at camp with me last week with all our friends and we had a party etc. ive known her for quite a while. among other things we laid in the same bed the 1st night, nothing happening besides me holding her, but the 2nd morning she came downstairs to where i was sleeping and goes "im cold" AKA i want to come lay with you again (from my understanding) so i told her to come over and she did. she said that among a few other things but that was the biggest, and we were txting back and forth she was at the bar at this point (during the week) and says, "moca skin, dark smile" i say "an absolute beauty to behold" and she says "to...hold....". i said "i actually really enjoyed that", waited 5 min and said "what did you think" but then she didnt respond. thing is shes got a bf, but they havent been in the same city for a while, and shes moving away eventually.

anyway, we were at camp again this weekend, and my friends girlfriend tells her I really really like her and that i love her. completely fucked everything. dont know how to recover from that. i had a little feelings start from us before there, but nothing that big.

I am going to say soemthing like

"Heyy. Sorry if you got weirded out or anything stupid was said at camp with that whole (friends gf name) thing. She over exaggerated a bit to go as far as dropping the love word or saying i really really like you, i know thats prettttty heavy to hear bcuz ive been told that too, especially coming out of the blue. i dont even know why she said that, she was being all ridiculous cuz she was messed up and assumed anything more than knew. it didn’t even make sense to me really and it totally threw me off of my game and everything for the weekend.
To be perfectly honest i didn’t know what to think, especially that second morning when you came down and said you were cold and came and laid with me again, that had me wondering among other things if something was there bcuz it kind of seemed like it and theres usually a reason for things. it did spark some feelings but not nearly to the level that (friends gf name) had put out there. And i trust my intuition, but perhaps i was wrong. But it still all had me wondering if there was anything at all.
i just feel like ive been put in an awkward situation bcuz sum1 decided to go say a bunch of things when it should have been me if there was anything to be said and ive been really mis-represented. And i mean, you can be honest with me, because whatever you do or say or whatever next, will be completly fine.
Sorry if you feel odd but this is necessary and im not going to force myself to cocoon it all bcuz of a weird situation for (friends gf name) opening her mouth, navigating stuff like this can be tough but its gotta be done bcuz i really do like having you as a friend too.
And for the record too, i dont think your super judgemental. For some reason that was 1 of the things you said to me when you were in the car and last weekend its like you were waiting lol, i hope you dont think thats how i see you cuz i dont."

Was maybe gonna take the “reason for things”

what do you guys think. i need to say something so she didnt think im a complete fucking idiot lol. just tell me your thoughts fellows. cant repair that totally most likely now but gotta say soemthing. thanks

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DO NOT SAY ANYTHING! I guess you are quite young, right? You have to understand that everything you want to tell her will look like an excuse. Learn not to give a sh#t about what other people (especially girls) think/talk about you. This may take a while, but you have to learn it.

Girls in general are attracted to guys who do not worry about anything. What you are going to tell her sounds like you are so damn worried what people say and that someone found out the "truth" about you liking her.

Actions are the only way to "convince" her of anything, words won't do that. So if you want to do something, let her guess if what that girl told her is true: ignore her lightly and show everyone you're having a good time. Treat her as any other friend and pretend like nothing happened.

She will think stuff like "Is he ignoring me? Why is he ignoring me? But I thought... Wait, did he just look at me? Maybe not "

ONLY if she asks you specifically about it, you can tell her that was just hugs with a friend and nothing more.

Read the stuff you were going to tell her again, but try to read it as if someone else would say it. Can you see how worried/creepy it sounds?

I read most of your post, except for the part where you wrote to her. Didn't need to read that, because you shouldn't send it. Whatever it said, it was bad.

I am going to agree with cmd that you are probably young, and that is ok. Best to learn these things at a young age. Don't bring it up, act as you did before. If she brings it up, dismiss it by saying something like "You girls sure do like to gossip", shake your head and change the subject.

Also, take note of this. Take serious note. I mean write this down and never forget it...

If a girl sleeps with you, she wants to sleep with you. And by that, I mean sex. Make moves, she is waiting for it. Who cares about her boyfriend, that is her responsibility (I might catch some flak from some people here for that, but I'm cynical). She is waiting for you to make moves so if she does get caught by this boyfriend of hers, she can blame it all on you.

If your morals disallow sleeping with a girl who has a "boyfriend", then continue on as you were.

_________________
The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

get better at hitting on girls, take 2 months off from trying to get this girl, go out to some bars or some place where you can meet women, approach women and hit on them, learn to get better at picking up women in general

there is no magic trick to change an unconfident guy who doesn't have a habitual practice for getting girls into a guy who magically just all of a sudden knows what he's doing, if that were the case you would already know what to do in relation to what you usually do

so the solution is stop aiming for a specific girl, and get better at picking up random girls that you don't know and improve at it, in a few months of practice if you practice hard you might just have a much better shot then now

good call guys. i actually just decided to go out with some friends last ngiht and didnt send anything. woke up this morning and thought "wtf am i worrying about. fuck that nonsense about explaining" blah blah. good call guys. thanks

Goes to show you when in doubt don't do anything.

Often times by not reacting and keeping yourself busy the girl will come to and everything will be fine. In this case less is more.