I am new here, but I feel as though I'm among friends. I'm a student of human behavior and have an extreme weakness for an inhalations of hot perfume and sweet breath. Knowing what I've learned in my 37 years, I still face the same issues I did when I was a teenager. The system is so rigged against us. All a woman has to do is open her legs and there's an instant economic base. You'll notice that you only see the male bums collecting aluminum cans to trade in for 40 cents a lb or whatever they get...a female can pretty much coast for the first 30 years of her life on her looks et al., and the next 30 years she spends slowing making her husband decide that death might not be so bad after all. The final 30 years she spends all dried out and irrelevant, but she still likes to talk smack about people.

My most recent case history: I was feeling a bit full of myself on Friday afternoon and posted a quick jot on CL on Platonic Friends or whatever it's called asking if any women wanted to go see a movie tonight. It was worded perfectly and I set a time limit and a decent 6 answered my ad and I met her at a bar before the movie. We never made it to the movie. I was on and pretty soon she was riding me and I was considering whether to pull out or stay put.

The next day I scooted her out, all is well, and she was trying to get me to do something later and I balked. So I sent her a little HELLO! last night not thinking much, just trying to smooth things over and didn't hear back. Strange, I thought. So this afternoon (I realize exactly what I'm doing and what she's doing, of course) I sent her a nice text with the same air of confidence, telling her that I'll be requiring her presence at some point tonight but I didn't sound like a total tool. Again, no response. Now, I should be happy and just walk away. Certainly I'm sparing myself some real misery here. I don't even know how to pronounce her name honestly and there are other girls around I want to take a crack at, but as soon as you can't have something, the human mind goes haywire.

Anyhow, best of luck to all of you gents and may you be strong and healthy and live 10 years longer than your wives. Selah.