If you want a woman's POV it's ok but NOT genuine. You've already admitted using some other guy's lines which women can see right through. Don't you realize every other guy is reading the same (bad) PUA advice you are and using it on women? The key to getting women's attention online is STANDING OUT - not sounding like every other spammer who just sends the same canned message to 100 women at a time.
My advice - forget the lines. Forget anything that you read that some other guy used to supposedly get women. Like it or not the only thing that works is being yourself, and being confident in who you are - including all the weird and crazy shit you're into. It's not about sending a generic aura of cocky/funny. It's about being a REAL person who gives REAL details about his REAL life. If your life isn't interesting enough to attract women, don't use some other guy's lines. GET A BETTER LIFE YOU CAN BE HONEST ABOUT.
First message to ANY girl should be personal or chances are, she's going to click "next" and move on. You have to show her that you've actually read her profile, and not just looked at her pic, decided she was hot, and spammed her. Mention something personal in the message. For example, if she likes Beyonce say, "Have you ever seen Beyonce live in concert?" It shows you read her profile, engages her about something you know she's into, and starts a conversation by asking a question. It would be hard to resist answering.
If you'd like some help with your profile let me know. It's what I do for a living.
http://www.profilediva.net
Good Luck!