Hi!
This is about a girl I knew a few years back. I asked her out and she said no and we decided to be just friends.
I met her a couple of months ago and we started talking.
We went out and it was nice, then we couldnt see each other for a couple of weeks because of work. We went on another nice thing.
(These are just friendly hook-ups. I didn't know what I wanted to do with her at the time, I just tried to figure out what I wanted for myself.)

A while back we went on something that didn't go well at all, we texted afterward and she got frigid. I told her that I had a lot on my mind and thanked her for being with me to put my mind on other things. This is a nice girl so she was concerned and we decided to meet up after she got back from her vacation.

I tried to set up a day and she told me she had other plans that day, but gave me an alternative instead. I took her out on a cooking-date, something I know she thinks she suck at. She doesn't. We went for a walk and I showed her one of my hideouts from when I was younger, a place with a great view.
Anyways, She told me she had a great time and gave me a warm tight hug, before she got on the bus and went home. We didn't make any additional plans and neither me or her brought it up.
(I can't get close enough to do any kino with her wich bums me out a bit. She is very ticklish and clearly uncomfortable by guys touching her.)

I know that she has this friend of hers that she goes out with on a routine, pretty much the same stuff all the time.

My question is how should I proceed? Do I wait for her to contact me or should I reconnect with her? I have been busy for a couple of days so I havent talked with her and I'm afraid it might cool off, but I don't want to be another attention-feeder either.

Grateful for quick response.

hmm...I'm on a similar scenario HB8.75, Amazing girl, 20 and still hasn't kissed a guy, went out for dinner and a movie finally and sent her a message saying "lets go out again" hopefully she got the message...Either way I'm also clueless on how to escalate as I'm usually all over the kino and clearly she isn't, what I'm gonna try that maybe it might work for you too is getting her to touch you.

ex: Let's say you're eating you're eating tomato sauce and get it all over your face, try and get her to clean it off "you got a lil something there" "did I get it?"(obviously whipping the wrong place) "Can you just get it for me?"

Its a little sneaky and untried yet but who knows, girls like these are tough

edit: this is also with a friend from way back where we hadn't seen each other in so long but maintained full contact

So followup on this, gave it some thought and I realized that I was just punishing good behaviour.
Texted her the other day acting as the time-lapse never happened asking her how it is, she says she's good and counters.
-I give a semi-cheeky/flirty answer with an undertoned question towards a date.
-She says she's swamped this week and gives me an alternative next week.
-I specify the day wich is during the weekend and ask if she's busy.
-She answers giving me all kinds of excuses to why exactly this week is a bad time and that next week is better.
-I just feel that I dont wanna be needy so I ask her to call me next week if she wants to and we'll see then.

I kind of got the vibe that I have been put on the waitlist for now. I think she's going away on a date/sleepover this weekend and that she wants to see how that goes first. But thats just a hunch.

So I guess I did this all wrong.

Without details it's hard to help you, but I'll make an educated guess and proceed on that. My guess is you confessed that you were attracted to her, and she rejected you. If this is indeed the case, my advice would be keep this girl as a friend and move on to a different girl.
Hugging is physical contact. If my guess was correct, she is not comfortable with you touching her because she knows that you are attracted to her, while she is not attracted to you.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

No it was nothing like that, I just didn't have my head in it at that time and it got pretty stale and boring. I'm quite shy early on and it takes sometime for me to get comfortable socially. I never tell a girl i like her straight out, thats not my style. They probably catch on eventually but that doesn't matter.

I am all about the experience instead, I never do things I don't wanna do and before I even contact a girl I think it over what I actually would like to do with her, except for the obvious one. After that I just listen in, what shes good at, suck at, fears, childhood memories, that sort of stuff.

Right now the problem is that I came out very strong with this last date and since it is me who invests more in her than she does in me I need to tip things over. I'm not sure how to do that.

Now she may not be intrested or attracted to me, but she has never told me nor hinted it out to me.
Now to explain the kino-part, I like Gamblers videos on stealth seduction in a playful manner. It goes more in line with my own personality so I have applied some of the techniques to my own game.
I never touch her before I have an excuse to do so, but since she even shrugs away from a friendly touch on her shoulder while talking I go with the conclusion that she is uncomfortable with being touched unless it is on her own terms.

So how do I make her invest more in me?

It's good that you didn't 'come clean', because that will definitely ruin your chances. Nonetheless, this girl knows that you are attracted to her, and her behavior (shying away from touch, excuses not to meet up) indicates that she is not attracted to you. It appears that you are still nothing more than a friend to her, so do not put all your eggs in this basket. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and there is nothing more attractive than a guy who gets girls.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Thank you for the input. You are probably right, but this is also a very useless reply and it has nothing to do with PUA. The ball is on her side now and I don't know wether she will contact me again or not. I can only play where I have an opening and I can't force one since I would only come across as needy and desperate at this time. That would burn all my bridges for sure.

This whole community forum is afterall about how you make a girl you want to feel attracted to you, not that she ain't.
I know for a fact through mutual friends that she has been attracted to me before. Now please don't try to read between the lines, I know more about this girl and her personality than I could possibly put down in words. Just go with the information I have given, I know it is flawed. What I need help with is methods of how to project my own personality in the right light.

Now lets just put on a more optimistic, green light view of things and say she contacts me and I do get another chance to meet. She always give me another option when she excuses herself not to meet and I can't do kino on her unless it is on her own terms.
Knowing this, how should I escalate things and create attraction? How do I make her invest in me?
All suggestions are appreciated.

Your tenacity is, in a way, admirable. Well, all right, I will try to help you one last time:
1) Arrange that you meet her somewhere. I recommend you call her and ask to meet up somewhere. If not, attend a party that she's going to.
2) When you meet her, break the touch barrier instantly by planting a friendly kiss on her cheek. If not, at least hug.
3) Let 'your personality shine', as you call it, by being very social. Make her laugh, talk about adventurous stuff.
4) Eye fuck, and look at her boobs (it's a body language thing, don't do it too obvious though). Go for the kiss at the very first real opportunity.

I don't think she is or was ever attracted to you, but I guess you do know better. But if you're right, why are you not acting on it? You're just kind of sitting around waiting, waiting for her invitation, waiting until she initiates physical contact, waiting for her 'terms'. Nothing's going to happen that way. So take action, take control, set your own terms!
I'm sorry, but I do not agree with this. It's not about creating an attractive, fake persona for a specific girl you want to fuck, but about how to transform yourself into an attractive man. But I guess that issue is at the heart of the debate of scripted lines vs. natural interaction.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

I'm not waiting for anything, but I guess I should be more to the point.
There is a time to be bold and a time to be sneaky. Tricky part is to know when.
I think you and I see the same point of view here through different perspectives. My belief is that a guy should find the methods and techniques to 'amplify' the personality he already possess, everything else would only be a waste of time and destructive for the confidence in the long run.


Last but not least, thank you!
I have been taking a long look around this forum and I'm pretty sure where I did things wrong, I know how I want to do things now. This is good advice and I will use it together with the other info I picked up on how to be 'me' in the best way I can.

This thread wont be necessary for me anymore, if it fails it's just good practice and time to move on.
See ya around!

Timo is right this is probably a lost cause but you likely know that.

But lets address your real problem.
You are probably the kind of guy who trys to be nice because he thinks girls will admire that, therefore you are rewarded with attention, but no attraction ,and are perpetually in the friend zone. If you dont change this behavior then expect the same results despite "amplifying" your personality. And as far as these putative "nice girls" go, who do you think is fucking them? Nice guys?

You are reading between the lines mate.
I would dare say I lost my 'nice guy' with my virginity in my first relationship, since I was new to it I was to eager to please and in the end it fucked things up and I got dumped. Nowdays i don't care to much about that and just do my own thing. If I want to do something I just ask the girl to come along, most of the time they have a great time. I stand by my opinions and I don't take any shit.

Now I don't really need this thread anymore, I know what I have to do. I looked over some stuff and made a self-analysis, Timo put the last puzzle-piece in place (thanks for that). But I'll humour you guys with the details.

It seems like I lack a bit in effiency to build 'rapport' with people, the ability to adapt to how the other person prefers to communicate. Now I am a superconfident guy who can make a girl feel like she can take on the world and make her feel comfortable, safe and secure. But because of this little disadvantage I don't have a strong foundation on wich I could build an emotional connection and therefore never be able to make a move so that she would feel sexually desired. Kino would just make her feel akward and any other escalations would be useless until this problem is resolved.

So not entirely right, but being a great guy will still put you in the friendzone if you can't make her horny and it sucks.