So I know this girl from college since my first year (hb8.5) but she had a boyfriend and now shes single. We havent shared personal moments because I didn't want to be friendzond and kept contact to a minimum.

I contacted her a few weeks back on FB and she gave me her phone right away without me asking (in case I've lost it). I tried setting up a meet for drinks and she agreed but at the last minute she flaked because family issues. I believed her because she sent many texts saying how sorry she was but I was cool and said not to worry.

Im currently on a trip and wont be back home for 2 weeks. I decided to wait for her to chase me and it worked. She texted me out of the blue and told me she was having wine in her balcony alone and a sad smiley face. She even sent me a picture of the glass and the view. I said something about the picture and told her that I should be there with her. She texted back that I should. Thats where I think I should had leaved it at. But I tried to be funny and texted her: "ok! Ill grab my cape and ill be there in 15! Don't finish up without me!" -No answer. I waited 20 mins and texted her again "sorry cant make it, nasa asked me to divert an asteroid". Again, no answer.

Is she into me? What did i did wrong? She did text me while drinking wine alone in her apartment.

ahhhh, fuckin women and the shit they do (or don't do).

The IOI is pretty clear regarding contacting you while drinking wine by herself...but when she flaked on your plans, did she offer up alternative dates to hang out? Or did she just say "sorry!" and leave it at that?

Some hypotheticals:

- She saw your cape comment and thought you weren't taking this seriously, so she said "fuck it."
- She was hammered and fell asleep.
- She just wanted some attention (or to see if you'd be immediately receptive to her offer) and was satisfied.

But really, who the hell knows. It’ll be interesting to see what she says about that incident.

I generally judge people on ACTIONS. What they actually DO. In this case, she got your attention, gave an indirect invite (she didn’t actually invite), you obliged, she ignored. That tells me that it wasn’t that big of a priority anyways. You don’t just write that then peace out, especially when the person is saying they are coming over.

So, let it go until she chases back. You’ve done your part and it put you in a humiliating position that even a cocky and funny response couldn’t soften. Get the ball back in your court (by being chased), or get out of there.

When she flaked, she just texted me sorry many times, that she felt like shit, and that she was "pumped" to go out with me. But she knew I was leaving for my trip the next day.

She didn't fell asleep because I saw her online on FB about an hour later. Note that I varied my response times from 5-20 mins.

What I want to know is, what should I have said after she said I should be there with her (even though Im 7000 miles away)? Or should I have said something different when she told me she was drinking "aloneeee "?

Ill leave it alone for now...

So, did she actually invite you knowing you couldn't attend because you were away?

Anyway, there's not much you can do at this stage, just disappear and let her come back. I'm always amazed by how well this strategy works, even in situations that seem much worse than yours!

I thought the thing about the cape was real cute. It's playful, it's original, it's got a little bit of a smart ass over tone to it b/c obviously you can't do it. The next thing 20 minutes later was probably not necessary.

One lesson to be learned is that women when they drink can display all kinds of behaviors you aren't accustomed too and a lot of times they don't even know what they are doing themselves. I'm with RiRi on a few points and I will offer other explanation.

Was her opening text about drinking wine alone generic that could have went to different people? When I drink, if I'm feeling social but not getting out I will ask a question or make a statement in a text and send it to anyone in my phone it might apply too and proceed to text whoever starts answering. So she could have passed out if she was sleepy or she could have got caught up in other texts or conversations.

When she said she was drinking alone you can ask "what's the occasion"
She may to tell you she had a bad day, or she's anxious about something. That's when you can start to make an emotional connection. You haven't got that far with her yet

It wasn't a generic text. She started the conversation specifically asking about my trip.