| Hello. I’m an AFC. I was dating this lovely girl. We were supposed to go on a trip with a group. She told me that ‘she would like to go on the trip but as friends’. Obviously, she is putting me on the friend zone. This is devastating but I understand that I may have been too needy lately. My response was to give her some space. I told her that, ‘if she needed some space I can stay behind so she can go on the trip by herself. I appreciate that she is honest and genuine.’ She was insistent on me joining her, asking me two more times. I told her that ‘I needed some space too’. She said, ‘yes but only about 1 meter’. I replied, ‘I needed more’. She said, ‘she understands and she should have known this would happen but needed to get it off her chest.’ So now I’ve been demoted. Anyway I told her that at least now ‘I’m available’ to do other things over the weekend. She said somewhat surprisingly that, ‘I have an alternative activity for the weekend.’ I think she thinks it is more the reason I didn’t want to go. I replied, ‘I always have a back up. I can’t just do nothing over the weekend.’ I went on to say that, ‘I was available to pick up some aubergines from an organic farm.’ We both like aubergines. Furthermore, the person bringing the organic aubergines is a nice blonde who stays in the same area as her. I’ve been flirting with the blonde over sms for two weeks and now she is returning to the area and bringing some veggies. I’m not sure if they know each other although, they might because of commonalities. I didn’t specify who it was I was getting the veggies from though. The first girl asked where the farm is and so on but no direct questions from whom I was getting it. Anyway, she said ‘it’s always cool when aubergines are involved’. It’s a private joke. Also, she thanked me for helping organise the trip for her. I said, ‘she helped too’. Then I told her she was ‘welcome. And it would cost her one banana.’ A private joke again. She said jokingly complained, so I replied, ‘ok two bananas.’ Then she replied, ‘how about she just shows me where to buy it.’ Then laugh. So we still have good interactions but now she wants to be friends. Now she will go on the trip. I will stay behind and hopefully I get to hook up with the blonde. Nevertheless, I still prefer the first girl and would endeavour to get her back. I plan to give her space, and knowing her she will give it to me too. We are both introverts. I expect her to invite me over to hers in the following week but just to hang out. I would decline the first invitation probably, but invite her to go to my area (rather than me going to hers) and if not, then we would see each other another time. I won’t contact her and just be cold. Although my chest would feel empty and my expectations thrown to the floor, I have to keep on walking and keep meeting new women. If we get a chance to talk intimately or about us, I might say ‘that I’m sad that we are just friends and I understand what may have led to it, but I have to move on, learn from my mistakes with her, and do it right when the next girl comes around.’ Also, I would say something like, ‘I’m on the road to recovery,’ to show some will of self-improvement. I’m in a transition phase in my life. This is my latest shit story from my shit life. I’m getting used to it.
Ultimately, I still would like to try to revive my relationship with the girl. Do any of you pros have any suggestions on what to do? What better ways could I do to rekindle the spark that got her attracted to me in the first place? I’m motivated to succeed because now it’s a challenge. It’s back to the game.
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CHAT
