To keep it brief: after two months of running back to a girl (not seeming to needy, freezing her out multiple times and dating other girls in the meantime), I met her.
During the previous two months she didn't consider me much and often found excuses, I got angry over the phone a couple times, then disappeared... anyway, at the end of this purgatory we went out.
6 hours, both very drunk, good feeling. I pay, she says "I'll pay next time then", she tries to impress me, to show her value... everything is fantastic.
she seems very invested and this is in strong contrast with what happened during the previous two months of course... or not?
anyway, I walk her home, I ask her when she's leaving and she answers "in two days". I ask her to see her the following day, she says she's busy but that she'll be back soon.
at that point, alcohol plays me a bad joke and I get very upset. what follows is a negative escalation in which we basically go into a verbal fight. she tells that she's not playing games, that if I think that I can go away, that she's serious with me and want to see me again.
I acted very needy unfortunately, seeking permission and not being a prize... actually the opposite.
anyway, the day after I text her saying I'm sorry for the bad ending.
after that, nothing.
crazy thing, I realized that after we first met, she waited til THE LAST DAY BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR A MONTH to meet me. a bit nonsense or what?
if she wanted to avoid me she could have just flaked that day right?
also, I was impressed by the way she made long term plans ("will you be living in france next year? I may have the opportunity to be there too if I ask my uni") and tried to convince me about her value.
I'm very confused, I don't know what to think: on one hand, she seems absolutely uninterested, never initiated conversation apart from once (after two week I was silent), on the other hand... well it's all written above.
it may help your analysis that she's very young and absolutely amazing, always gets a huge amount of followers for whatever she does... but I can safely say I'm not in that group, luckily.
And I'm very aware of my previous errors, this post is not aimed at getting criticized about something I already regret enough
Thanks a lot folks!