Recently, I have made some big changes in my life, I decided I didn't want to include alcohol in my life.. not that I don't have fun drinking, it's only becuse I consider myself in a risk of developing an addiction if I do. I find that this can be a problem when socializing, especially since I'm in my early 20's and everyone drinks and looks at me strangely if I tell them I'm not drinking, besides, I get less invites to parties from people that know I'm living sober. I have tried to quit before, always resulting in me drinking again because of peer-pressure (not dependence), like I'm afraid my old (drinking)buddies will abandon me if I tell them I'm not drinking anymore. Because I know that if I were them I wouldn't want to party with sober people if I had other friends that drink.

I have tried telling people that I'm not drinking because I have work tomorrow, or whatever, but that only works in the short term, for some reason I'm scared of telling people the real reason I'm not drinkin, because it might make them look at me like an addict or in some way lose respect for me.

Has anyone got any tips or experience on how to party/socialize sober and meanwhile not lose your friends?

Im pretty same situation, i will be off drinking while because i have strong medicine When you not drinking and partying you need to force yourself be more social. If you have car its good for logistics to drive to bars. Of course you can make excuse that you have big bet your friend for being sober. I think its mainly attitude problem, i know many guys who are pretty much sober in bar and doing great.

Tell them it's for medical reasons. I had to stop drinking for medical reasons and people didn't question it.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I don't drink either, and I get the "Why aren't you drinking?" question a lot, which I think is weird -- I don't ask them why they ARE drinking. But here are some suggestions, depending on your situation.

Possible responses to "Why aren't you drinking?"
(In a super positive way) I feel so great right now, I don't want anything to bring me down! (or I don't need it, or something to that effect) Could also launch into DHV story...
I'm not feeling it.
I'm good right now.
(When I have water in my hand): I'm just super thirsty right now, because I've been (talking/DHV story/whathaveyou)
Funny approach -- you have to make it clear you're joking. After someone offers you a drink: "I'm in AA right now, but... alright!" and start to take the drink. If they're listening, they'll usually pull back the drink and then you can laugh. This one is hard to do, so keep that in mind.

Key in general is to keep the same energy level or whatever made you "fun" when drunk. Like if you were loud and silly, continue to be loud and silly. Unless the reason you stopped drinking is to stop being loud and silly.
Also, often just having a (non-alcoholic) drink in your hand is sufficient so you can make toasts or whatever.

Also, if you don't have a problem having drinks around you, throw your own party, with alcohol, for your boozy friends, just to show them that you can throw down without drinking.

Alternative: Find friends who like you whether you're sober or not. You're afraid to lose your friends who won't like you sober? Uh, news flash, they're not your friends if they don't like you sober.

^ yea pretty much, your friends should tease you a bit if you stop drinking but they shouldn't stop hanging out with you completely.

I stopped drinking because alcohol is mostly sugar and I stopped eating sugar.
You could tell people that you're hypoglycemic (I sometimes use this when people try to force drinks or sugary food onto me).
Or you could tell people that you're 'in training' for (insert random sport)
Or you've been going really hard lately and need a break.

But yea just don't be a downer when you're sober and most shouldn't notice. Or just laugh off their taunts, show them it doesn't affect you and change the subject.

Or you could just tell people the truth? Just say "I want to cut down on how much I drink". If people judge you, then find new people to hang with. If you go out with people, drink a coke and most people won't know you're not drinking - it could well be a vodka and coke. If you go out, you do need to make sure you're high energy. Just going out and standing around looking miserable, well yeah, people aren't going to enjoy your company.

But being social doesn't only mean going to clubs or bars. Do something else that doesn't involve drinking. If your friendship groups only do stuff revolving around drinking then it's a pretty sad state of affairs in my opinion anyway.

Shit, I just had a lightbulb moment.

I think the reason this is a problem with people, is because it is one of the main things that is connecting the group.

People like to be connected in slightly deviant ways. It's rebellious. It's hip.

It's counterculture....

I just had some weird vision of me bringing some weird ass cinnamon sticks to a party, and everyone walking around with them hanging out their mouths....

Bring something everyone can share.

If we are going out to a bar i guess it is harder...

But then again, you can always bring a breathalizer!

50 bucks, instant party attraction! That's it. I'm getting one....

"I cant drink because it makes my dick bigger"

"Why is that a problem"

"Its hard to move around if it gets any bigger"

hahahaha

I don't drink much. I took a personal vow to abide by game without getting white girl wasted in order to approach or putting drugs and or stimulants on my brain. I cleaned up my diet, learning game sober which helps day game, situations like working out or othe group settings, and drinking isn't appropriate. I think its like training wheels when partying. It passes and you realize how silly it is to need substances to get out of your head. Try meditation. It helps escaping reactiveness to others, the bar or club. Your conscience rises and your actions are the catalyst to reaction.

Just drink something nonalcoholic and always keep it in your hand so your friends don't give a beer. If they do, just hold it. If they for some reason fucking study you and realize you are not drinking, just say that you are done with drinking and that its no big deal. You got to have a strong frame of mind and act like its nothing because it really is nothing.

Hey johnn, I think it's great that you know your limits and you're avoiding going down a bad road. Why don't you just ask them why they ARE drinking? I can't think of a good answer to that question and it should put the focus back on them. A lot of people ask just to have something to talk about, they couldn't give a shit less why you aren't drink. It's just an empty question. You definitely don't have to tell them you're at risk for alcoholism and your instinct is right, it does lower your value to admit to having a disease, even if you're being responsible. The other guys already said all the other good stuff.

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31 and still figuring it out.

Myself have been free from drink for 7 months was never an alky or out just use to drink on weekends.
I decided to quit an its the best move iv ever done. Last weekend someone offered me £500 an to pay for my night if i would get smashed. Everytime im out i get the question why are you not drinking. Why because i dont
need to drink to have a good time. Its that simple.

I would not worry about your friends abandoning you your looking at it the wrong way it could actually infact dhv you its sets you apart if you can maintain the fun vibe (Oh look at this guy rocking it out on the dancefloor without a care in the world an drinking a glass of water)

Dont be afraid of losing friends in your life or they will just hold your true potential back

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My journal

viewtopic.php?p=475520#475520

I drink anyway, but I only drink when "I" want to, not because it may seem 'cool' fuck that shit, besides Men Health (UK Health magazine) states that one or two drinks a day is actually good for you, obviously not everyday though and I think they just mean lager too, now don't get me wrong, I don't like the taste, but when im thirsty I wont say no to a beer. I also drink cocktails, shots and cider but not as much as lager, I go with whatever 'Im' in the mood for, im the type of guy who would drink a pink smoothie in public and not give a crap about what other people are thinking, if I want a smoothie then a smoothie is what ill f*cking get, but as PUANinja say, 'for medical reasons' thats a pretty excuse I must admit

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Why ask a girl generic and boring questions like 'How are you, where you from?' when you can ask "Whats the craziest thing you've done, what was your first kiss like?"

I'll buy a 5 hour energy drink before so I "seem buzzed." The caffeine makes me louder and gives me more energy (plus, I work 70-80 hours during the week and go out ATLEAST 4 times a week... It perks me up. Otherwise, I might fall asleep by midnight lol If it works for me, it can work for you too.) Then I will BUY a beer from the bar... I don't drink either but I'll just dump half the beer out and hold it for the night. That way I don't have people buying me drinks all night. Or, buy a redbull from the bar... They usually sell them for pretty cheap too. Most bars/clubs out here will sell you a red bull for 2-3 bucks. Saves alot of money that way...

Just make sure you drink ALOT of water when you take in that much caffeine. You will sweat alot. Nothing wrong with being sweaty (just don't smell) but if you are too dehydrated, your dick won't work.

Take this as your opportunity to see the world.
Do something new.

Drink Tonic and lime. It looks like a drink. It works for me at the bar. My friends are heavy drinkers. If my hands were ever empty theyd buy me a beer. IM a dad now I dont want to be all hung over and Saturday morning and not playing with my kid.

Medical is a great excuse. Dont bother saying you dont want to drink. Some people are tools and they will just harass you all night long.

Maybe just find new friends. There is a whole world of beautiful women who dont drink. The women who do appreciate a guy who isnt a drunk. If you even think your going to have a problem with alcohol youre being very smart to change your life before it ruins it.