Opening without being obvious?



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Approaching and Opening




Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 7:24 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
I am new here, and I have been reading about opening and some examples that other guys use. From what I understand, you're supposed to not let her know you're approaching her because you want to pick her up or anything like that. However, when I read these examples of openers, I feel like any girl who is not stupid will immediately get the idea that you're approaching her because you think she's hot and want to bang her. Especially when there are tons of other people around and your choose to approach her. Am I missing something? Or do these openers only work in certain situations?


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 7:38 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:05 pm
Posts: 11
If you check out my recipe for successful a opening/approach I posed the theory that you shouldn't ever approach with the intentions of hitting on a girl. I agree with you and think many openers can display that very thing we aren't trying to portray. But if you can open to a girl and make it seem as though you are trying to meet someone new and get a new outlook on something or a different opinion on something then you can come across like you aren't TRY HARD or HITTING on her. Its really all about the approach as a whole not necessarily what you say.

Are you approaching the whole group or just her? This can make it seem like your hitting on her.

Are you able to carry on a conversation after the "opener?" I don't really like openers that people put up, but i do think they are a good starting point if you don't have a good grasp of how to do it yet. I think its far more beneficial if you can take a current event and make conversation from that like for instance using the George Zimmerman trial. Its produced a lot of controversy and could be something interesting to talk about.


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:02 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
Well, the thing is, if I am at the mall of some other crowded place where there are tons of people, and I specifically choose to approach one girl, the only reason I would do that is because I am attracted to her. And I'm pretty sure she would know that. Are we not supposed to approach girls unless we have some reason to be doing other than being attracted to them? Because that would make it very difficult to choose the ones we specifically want.


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:16 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:05 pm
Posts: 11
good point

hmm well whenever someone you don't know approaches you do you automatically assume they are attracted to you?


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:27 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
No, but I am a guy, not a girl. Girls are always getting hit on by guys, so they are always suspecting it. Girls don't usually go up and approach random guys, so there is no reason for me to suspect it.


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:09 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:38 pm
Posts: 390
most the stuff you see on here or other books or websites is theory that won't apply real well to your specific situation. I'm rarely in favor of letting her know upfront you think she's hot but it can work sometimes. 90% of the openers you see in this forum are guys who have never opened a girl before or they did one and they are confused by response and want feed back. Lets suppose for instance you see a girl you want to approach in a grocery store but she's shopping in an isle you have no interest in.

You might walk in to the isle and look at some products close to her and ask if she knows about a particular product in that isle. Remember, she has no way of knowing you aren't interested in that isle. Generally you can read the body language before talking and it will suggest if she even is open to talking to you. Where I am, a lot of grocery store shopper HB's will walk around the entire time talking on a cell phone. Produce is as easy section b/c situational openers are easier. But no matter what shes looking at she will give her opinion or knowledge on a product if she knows anything about it if you aren't creepy or shes not timid of you. If she's in the bread isle you can ask "do you know if the seeds in this contain vitamins?"

Part of being pretty good at this is freelancing an opening line for your situation that has never been used


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:00 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
I guess the problem is I think that even when you ask her a random question about the produce or something like that, I think most girls can tell that you're actually interested in her. At the very least, they will suspect it. Why else would you choose her in particular when when there are other people around?

How long are we supposed to keep our attraction secret anyways? I feel like it will become even more obvious to them as I progress through the method.


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:59 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:29 pm
Posts: 4
Sounds to me like you are afraid of approach, like all AFCs, and this is preventing you from doing it well. Remember, practice makes perfect, and you are too eager to get it right the first times. Learn your IOI's, your posture when approaching (over the shoulder), approach without sexual intent (keep her guessing, which is the part you are overly focused on, and shouldn't be, because she will not freak out unless you are overly aggressive), and progress with asserting it at the right moment (insert sexual comment, observe response - IOI/IOD), calibrate, be funny and memorable (tease if she seems like the type to respond well right away), close the number or gracefully exit. This is like the standard progression of cold approach. Still, I think it helps beginners to look for IOI's BEFORE engaging, and maybe not hit on the hottest girls there (if you are only practicing), which I think is a good idea since you are so terrified of setting off sexual alarms in hot women's heads.

You are right that hot women assume sexual intent on pretty much any approach, and the whole point is that for them it doesn't matter if it is true or not - they will deal with you starting from that premise whatever you do. Less hot girls have lower guards in day game, but pretty much similar ones in night game, where sexual intent is more likely by far. If you want to get better at it, I suggest just closing some numbers on 6-8s, get some confidence and skill, then go for 10 if you feel like it.

There is an exception - if you don't have anyone else to turn to then her, like in total isolation, or when only she has something you need - example: I was out in a different country, Italy, and I overheard these 2 American chicks talking, an 8 and a 9. They had a professional camera, I didn't, and so I asked them to take some pictures of me and the city (we were on this castle on a hill), and e-mail them to me, so closing with one of their e-mail was quite easy, and they had no reason to suspect or blame me of anything, since there was a scarcity of resources which they happened to fill in by accident. If you are smart enough to engineer such situations, or to think some up on the spot, this is helpful in approaching, and in lack of such situations, you have to do it the hard , cold way.

So,for minimal risks I think this guy's approach is helpful, with girls close to your attractiveness level (he's like an 8-9 on looks), if you understand it well:
Quote:
Women will tell you a lot with their body language and words. I will approach random women from time to time, but i usually use a technique i call "zero rejection factor"

This technique is applied to eliminate any potential rejections. What i will do ( in any situation...ie bar/club/grocery store/library...park etc.) I will create eye contact by either walking right into them or walking by them, ensuring eye contact , then gesturing with a smile or something. I will then move just slightly out of their direct line of site( staying within their peripheral vision)

As I move slightly more out of their line of site, i am watching them, looking for any conscious or unconscious gesture towards me. ie- a look over, as in where is he going. ( women tend to check out men ONLY when they know they are not looking at them, by staying slightly out of their direct line of site, you can catch them trying to sneak a peek) If i get the appropriate glance/gesture...I will then repeat the process and move to another spot. After successfully doing this 3 times, I will then approach knowing there was some sort of interest or attraction.

This leaves me without any approach anxiety or fear and allows me to approach with confidence. The rest will be totally up to the woman. I will be polite in my approach and try to engage her in conversation.

Here is the thing, not every woman is going to be interested in you. A true Pick up artist knows this and will deal with the situation accordingly. If you remain polite throughout your attempt, and read the body language and words of the woman, you can eliminate any potential embarrassment.

You want to keep it friendly and wait for the signs, if you come on strong at first odds are you will get a strong defensive response.

Basic positive signs include: her giving you complete eye contact as you speak.
laughter and smiling
subtle touches, arm, hand, leg
head tilting
body facing you

Basic negative signs include: looking away as speak/ or during silence
arms crossed
feet pointed away from you
short answers

These are some of the things you look for before attempting the actual seduction.

Generally if you are getting more negative tells then positive, it is wise to keep it short /sweet and move on.

By using this technique it allows you to get out of there fast while still not getting physically rejected. ( allowing your confidence to remain intact)

If all signs are positive, then work your magic, be funny, be witty, the best of it all is you will be confident and confidence is half the battle.
This is a comment I picked up from i-am-38yrs-old-and-have-had-sex-with-ap ... 11-60.html


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:54 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:25 pm
Posts: 124
Quote:
No, but I am a guy, not a girl. Girls are always getting hit on by guys, so they are always suspecting it. Girls don't usually go up and approach random guys, so there is no reason for me to suspect it.
girls HARDLY get hit on by a guy during the day. And most girls will just love it if you start a conversation with them during the day. They know their hot and if guys start talking to them they will want to hit on them. But the thing is. This almost NEVER happens to girls during the day!!!!

So wich is why they will just love it. Try it out. Go in the nightclub and say to a hot girl :''Hi I thought you were verry cute so I wanted to say hi'' She will probabbly ignore you, turn her back to you or whatever. If you say the same thing to the same girl during the day you will get a verry diffrent reaction!


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 9:52 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
Quote:
So,for minimal risks I think this guy's approach is helpful, with girls close to your attractiveness level (he's like an 8-9 on looks)
Wow it's kind of discouraging to know that 8-9s need to be doing this stuff to get positive reactions from women.


The problem I have with the number rating system is that attractiveness is very subjective, so it's hard to tell how much attention a girl gets based on how attractive you think she is. Also, something interesting I've noticed is that black women seem to be more confident even when they are less attractive by conventional standards. Also, I don't really know where I stand on the scale. I know I'm not like a 9-10(don't look like a model), but different girls have different opinions of my looks. Some girls seem to find me attractive and would probably say I'm a 7-8, but some girls seemed to find me unattractive and would probably say I'm 3-4.

I'm wondering though, why does it matter that the girl is at the same attractiveness level as me? For example if I was a 3, would a 6 really be a big risk? I mean, it's not like she's hot stuff, so I don't imagine her being picky about the attention she gets.


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:06 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:29 pm
Posts: 4
I simply meant that attractive women tend to be attracted physically by either well built or good looking men, so they will give them more attention. As an aspiring PUA, you will need to be very observant of the signals women give you, so as you say, some attractive women will be drawn to you, but most won't, because they get hot guys to hit on them more often and they are used to that caliber of men (they have an abundance of aesthetically superior specimens at their disposal and so even if 90% of them are jerks, they will still give them IOI's in the perspective of finding the elusive 10%), and generally avoid giving them out to lesser specimens). In libraries you might get better response from women, because they might expect you to be intellectual, which many do like, but is not always apparent by looks in a shopping mall for example (nerdy looking is still too much though).

That guy's method is good for fairly good looking men, without them needing to do something in particular (except being well groomed, having good posture, inspiring self confidence through calm gestures, not looking lost, etc. - do that, chicks have an eye for details, so be fresh all day, every day). Giving out an image of a confident alpha could ad a point or two on the attractiveness scale, so you can try it, and see if you get IOIs in conditions you usually didn't.

And as zwiggelbig suggested, my hot girl friends never complain of being approached on the street, even though they mention it happens like once a year, without being offended in any way. So yeah, it's rare in some cultures at least, and it's no big deal. So go ahead, be polite (essential for day game in my opinion), always look for IOIs, and everything will be OK.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:23 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 17
Quote:
I simply meant that attractive women tend to be attracted physically by either well built or good looking men, so they will give them more attention. As an aspiring PUA, you will need to be very observant of the signals women give you, so as you say, some attractive women will be drawn to you, but most won't, because they get hot guys to hit on them more often and they are used to that caliber of men (they have an abundance of aesthetically superior specimens at their disposal and so even if 90% of them are jerks, they will still give them IOI's in the perspective of finding the elusive 10%), and generally avoid giving them out to lesser specimens). In libraries you might get better response from women, because they might expect you to be intellectual, which many do like, but is not always apparent by looks in a shopping mall for example (nerdy looking is still too much though).
Well, like I said, I am not a desperate loser who is looking to get his dick wet by any means possible. I actually want to get the girls whom I would consider high quality. They may not all look like supermodels, because I am often attracted to girls who are not your stereotypical model looking types, but they still get lots of attention from all kinds of men. So yeah, I need to be able to compete with the really attractive looking guys, and any PUA method that requires you to only pursue girls who are unattractive and desperate is useless to me.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link