Since things got real serious with my fiance (and since i knocked her up) I've been staying in and not gaming at all. Took down my online profile ect ect..

Recently I have started to think about the future. Obviously my wife and family come first and I don't want to do anything that will make their life harder. My fiance is totally cool with me messing around but doesn't want any drama brought home understandably.

Now that we are getting married and having a baby the families are allot more involved in our lives, whom all wouldn't ever understand our lifestyle so I have a strange desire to keep this separated from them.

I'm not in any hurry to figure all of this out, my main priority is getting through this time of transition. But I am starting to think about the future and i am wondering if anyone here is in the same situation and how it changes the way you pursue women.

Questions like:
Is online dating totally out?
Can I just naturally game girls and tell them im in an open marriage after we hook up?
If anyone can shed some light or point me to some experiences that would be great.

if shes Ok with you messing around, then she bloody darn well may mess around herself if she aint already. think about this one. if your cool with it, then proceed. FFS this is your marriage man! think ahead

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Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

I am in an open marriage. We have been together for 13 years and have two kids. We decided to open our marriage up a few months ago. Each of us has a studio away from the house and we can only take people back there but not to our house. We do not say what we are doing but we say we aren't coming home that night (sleeping at the studio). We are not allowed to see people that the other one knows.

These are the rules that we put in place. before we put all this in place it didn't go well. That is my advice be clear with the rules and set them together. Set aside some time each week or month to go over the rules and make sure both of you are still comfortable. Once you have set the rules the rest will come into place. Also you will have to be very sure of yourself (confidence and no jealousy) to know that your wife will be having sex with other people and you are at home changing the baby's diaper. If you are okay with this then you should be fine.

Good luck

I'm in a 2.5 year open relationship that will become an open marriage sooner or later. I've been living with my girlfriend since this February so we are still figuring this all out. Up to this point, we are 100% "open and honest" (i.e. I know all the details about who she's sleeping with and she knows all the details of who I'm sleeping with). Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of advice for you, because you are a bit further along in your relationship.

However, we both online date in a small-to-midsized (mostly conservative) city and have never had any issues. My brother knows the deal and her mom knows the deal, but my parents don't. I don't really stress about it. If anybody ever confronted me, then I'd just honestly explain the situation. It's not for everybody, but it works for us.

As far as when to tell women.. I usually play it by ear. I always sub-communicate that I'm seeing other women. However, I don't always go into specifics right away. Typically, I'll wait to see if there's any long-term potential. Sometimes this happens before I sleep with a girl, sometimes it happens afterwards. It's a case-by-case type of thing.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

I would convince her into going to a swinclub, swinclubs are tons of fun and low key... Anyways, the key is to make it her idea. I have also some of blackdragon stuff in my site, he specializes in poly relationships.

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Yes, also THIS. Check out SLS.com (free site) and browse their party/event page (no account required): http://www.swinglifestyle.com/swinger/party/

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

First off, you should listen to the Savage Love Podcast and read the book, The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. They have a lot of good tips on how to go about this sort of lifestyle.


You want to keep itin the closet because Moms have the right not to know what their sons and daughters are doing behind closed doors. The problem with online dating is that you will invariably run into someone you know eventually because everyone is online.. All of the Poly folk I know use OK Cupid, but so does everyone else. If you are trying to keep it in the closet you have to go somewhere else. There are websites that cater to these types of things like FetLife, Polyamorous Passions, My Polyamory.com et cetera. These are your best bet for meeting people. One of my really good friends is poly and he says he doesn’t lose anything if his gf goes on a trip and bangs some other guy so he has no problem with it. I say he should just casually date instead because he does lose something.

There is a pretty substantial opportunity cost in these relationships. Not a lot of women are going to want to date or have sex with a married guy. Your options are to look around all day for the few that will, hire hookers, or lie to unsuspecting women. If you’re up for the challenge, more power to you. Hopefully some of these sites can help. It’s difficult to meet people that are down for the cause in normal life too. A lot of women will not be understanding. You also have to coordinate your schedules, you need an extra room a lot of times. You usually can’t take a chick back to your place with the wife and kid there and bang her on the same bed you share with your fiancé.

I don't think you should hook up with chicks and then tell them you're in an open relationship afterwards. It's better to be upfront and honest if you and your chick don't want drama.

Why the fuck are you getting married when you want to stick your stupid dick elsewhere? Do you seriously think your fiancé is happy with this situation? Get real you idiot.

You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. There are a lot of women (and men) who are happier in poly / open relationships.

Plus, monogamy doesn't work very well. We just aren't built for it. Further reading: http://www.blackdragon-blog.com/2012/12 ... ummarized/

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

"Not a lot of women are going to want to date or have sex with a married guy. Your options are to look around all day for the few that will ..."

Personally, my experience has been that girls find it sexy if you're married. Women are very perceptive so if you go to a bar wearing a wedding ring and get hit on, you can bet your ass they saw that ring before they started hitting on you.

This is not to say it's moral/amoral/immoral to date if you're married, but I would like to strongly disagree with the above-quoted post from a factual standpoint.

i’ve had open relationship before. let’s just say you guys don’t even know what the hell you are getting into. been there done that.

*Shrug* I think the same thing when I hear people say they've gotten themselves into monogamous relationships. To each their own.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html