my 9 top lessons for social dynamics



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:25 pm 
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thnx brother... btw great avatar... :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 6:38 pm 
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Lesson 6
The law of emotional transferance.
This lesson is a very common one in the community, and probably many of you have heard about it. It states that your emotional state can and is transfered to the people arround you, and that the emotional states of the people arround you influence your own. We can take two quick conclutions from this:

The first one is that you should sorround yourself with the people that usually are in the kind of mood you want to have. For example dont hang out with negative depressive people if what you want is to feel energized and happy. I know it can be hard to hear if your friends are like this, i have felt it too, but unhealthy relationships are very bad for your emotional self.

The second and perhaps more obvious one is that by being in a good mood, you will put other people in a good mood, and this will affect your approaches. Im all about training my subconcient as you would train any animal, as i personally believe we are animals just as dogs or wolves, and that gives me a very deep conection with myself.

See as i understand it, our brain has 3 faces. The older and primal one is the first and deepest one, its called the reptilian brain. It takes care of everything essential for survival, meaning all your incstincts come from this face. It signals us that we are hungry, it gives us the urge for sex. The second face of our brain is the emotional brain, called the animal brain. This one takes care of our emotions, everything we feel is asosiated with this face of our brain, and the last one is the human brain, related to rational thinking. The catch ant the thing that makes this knoledge very very powerful is that there is a hierarchy between this faces, dictated by the evolutionary development of this brain faces. The fist one, the reptilian brain, is the most ancient one, it was developed by life formes very early on in the evolutionary time scale and is the brain that all living things share. Its the most powerful one. It has power over all the other faces. Then comes the emotional face, developed later on in the evolution of living creatures and is shared by all animals. This brain is subject to the incstincts but has power over the last brain to develop: the rational brain. This is why we cant choose to stop breathing. You can try this yourself. If you decide to hold your breath until you die, you will be able to hold it for a while but after some point, your body will force you to breath. This is why people that die asfixiated by water are always found to have water in their lungs: even though you rationally understand that there is no point on breathing under water, there is a primal reflex that will force you to try to breath under water and by doing that you will fill your lungs with water. Your emotions are subject to your incstints but have power over your rational mind. You cant choose to stop feeling anxiety when you aproach, you can only work with it, and with that i can go back to my point: If you get a positive response with every time you aproach, then aproaching will stop being scary, as you have trained your brain to asosiate feeling good with that action. Its very much like feeding a dog dogcandy when you are training them. So my advice to you in solving aproach anxiety is to always put yourself in a good mood before aproaching. The interesting thing is that you can put yourself in a good mood by aproaching too. If you want more on that pm me cuz i dont wanna get into that now.

The last thing i wanted to talk to you about is how this lesson works with lesson 5 to your favor. There is a concept that i need to introduce here: what girls call a conection. What is a connection? How do you know if you are having a connection with another person? For me its all about lesson 6. A connection is nothing but you projecting a feeling you are feeling to the people arround you, and those people acceptin that feeling and makeing it their own. When you are feeling the same as other people, you are having a connection with those people. Strong feelings, like love, create stronger connections. So how does one create those connections? By feeling something you intuitively know the other person wants to feel. For example feeling happy, feeling active. If you feel this way all the time, you will have no problem connecting with people, and people love feeling connected to another human being so you will attract people, therefore becoming attractive.

Lesson 21 actually talks about that: i learned it after having proper sex for the first time. As i was leaving her house i remember not being sure if i had gamed her or if i had just been gamed by the girl. This feeling got me to the conclution that having good game is not about sarging succesfully, its about properly presenting her with an oportunity, and letting her play you. the key is not learning how to game her, but learning how to present the oportunity properly. See its like the peacoke, presenting his incredible tail, and if your tail is amazing enough, all the female peacokes will want to fuck your mother fucking sexy tail.
About that, we have 3 more lessons to go, and i have comed up with a little over 15 more lessons, each deeper and more advanced than the previous one. So what im going to do is finish this post with the first 9 lessons, and continue with the rest at my blog, and probably make an ebook with all of them. Just because i think you guys fucking deserve this, you have worked very hard on yourself and i want to help you even more, because i understand your struggle and i am in the same journey.
Hope this helps
Jason

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:28 pm 
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ROlL ON BROTHER....YOURE THE MAN...

btw i think this is perhaps the single most important lesson up until now and if anyone would take just this one lesson and apply it it would perhaps change his whole life.....it would enrich him beyond any imaginable measure...

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 8:05 pm 
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lesson 7
The Law of Symbiosis

Symbiosis is a term borrowed from ecology, and is used to describe a type of relationship between 2 life forms. a simbiotic relationship is one in which both life forms are beneficiated by the relationship and none are harmed by it.

Lesson 7, the law of symbiosis, states: Achive your goals through helping others ahive their own.
Its a simple guideline by which i choose to live my life by, so lets first talk about that for a second. Men, specially older and wiser, succesful men, live by a code. they have a spesific set of guidelines they live by, believe in, and use to define themselves and their identity as an individual.
for example, many men choose to put family first, over everything. so if there was to be an oportunity to be transfered to a better paid job, but that implied not being able to take care of his parents, seeing his son if he's divorced, etc. those men would not take that oportunity.

This exercise of setting the guidelines you choose to live by, is part of the development of your own individuality, and this are, therefore, to be set very carefully and with a lot of deep reflection upon each one.

I chose the law of symbiosis as i was takeing a course in ecology, and studying about social dynamics in my free time. it states that every relationship in your life should be helpful for myself, in my journey, and it should also be helpful to the other person.

this means that i will not take favors from people without being sure to give back, as i can apreciate the work people spend on me, and the time they willingly choose to dedicate to myself.

as i understand, there is only one true currency in this world, and that is time. you have a limited amount of it, and you give it its value. see just like every commodity in the market, your time has a price, and that price is set by how much you have worked in yourself to better your skills, and also by how much you yourself value your own time.

with time you can do anything: learn to spell, get a job, get a degree, get power, get money. time is the only thing that is really ours and we can turn it into whatever we want to, as long as we are willing to do the work that is necesary to transform something like time, into knoledge, material posetions and healthy relationships.

so value time. value your time, and value the time people spend on you. Let people know that you apreciate the things they do for you, and do things for them.

this sets things for next lesson: Never expect any thanks in this life.

we will talk about that on tusday, so i hope you liked this and until then,

Jason

_________________
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

Blog:
http://selfdevelopmentpua.blogspot.com.ar/

Twitter:
@projectbsas

Email for free, anonymous private advice:
projectbuenosaires2013@gmail.com


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 2:12 pm 
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lesson 7
The Law of Symbiosis

Symbiosis is a term borrowed from ecology, and is used to describe a type of relationship between 2 life forms. a simbiotic relationship is one in which both life forms are beneficiated by the relationship and none are harmed by it.

Lesson 7, the law of symbiosis, states: Achive your goals through helping others ahive their own.
Its a simple guideline by which i choose to live my life by, so lets first talk about that for a second. Men, specially older and wiser, succesful men, live by a code. they have a spesific set of guidelines they live by, believe in, and use to define themselves and their identity as an individual.
for example, many men choose to put family first, over everything. so if there was to be an oportunity to be transfered to a better paid job, but that implied not being able to take care of his parents, seeing his son if he's divorced, etc. those men would not take that oportunity.

This exercise of setting the guidelines you choose to live by, is part of the development of your own individuality, and this are, therefore, to be set very carefully and with a lot of deep reflection upon each one.

I chose the law of symbiosis as i was takeing a course in ecology, and studying about social dynamics in my free time. it states that every relationship in your life should be helpful for myself, in my journey, and it should also be helpful to the other person.

this means that i will not take favors from people without being sure to give back, as i can apreciate the work people spend on me, and the time they willingly choose to dedicate to myself.

as i understand, there is only one true currency in this world, and that is time. you have a limited amount of it, and you give it its value. see just like every commodity in the market, your time has a price, and that price is set by how much you have worked in yourself to better your skills, and also by how much you yourself value your own time.

with time you can do anything: learn to spell, get a job, get a degree, get power, get money. time is the only thing that is really ours and we can turn it into whatever we want to, as long as we are willing to do the work that is necesary to transform something like time, into knoledge, material posetions and healthy relationships.

so value time. value your time, and value the time people spend on you. Let people know that you apreciate the things they do for you, and do things for them.

this sets things for next lesson: Never expect any thanks in this life.

we will talk about that on tusday, so i hope you liked this and until then,

Jason

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 10:29 pm 
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Lesson 8

Never expect any thanks in this life.

This lesson is taken from the movie Alfie (2004) I personally recomend it, its one of the best pua related movies.

Ok so it sounds fair enough to just say never expect any thanks in this life, but just saying it is too easy and will not really have a major impact in our lives unless we take a minute to think about it. So first of all: why should we not expect thanks from people if we do something for them?
I would say you could find a million reasons, but I find the following particulary important:

1) because you can never control other people's reactions. In order to avoid being desapointed, never set your expectations too high.

2) because by expecting something from someone else you sureender control over your emotions to the other person. I have suffered from this all my life and I know many of you may have too. Have you ever founded yourself, as I mentioned in one of my first posts "how to gain confidence and self belief" emotionally floating on a roaring sea? Like you have no control and the exterior happenings just roll you arround like waves would roll a boat in a storm? One of the things that prevent you from loosing the emotional frame is by being in the command seat and doing things because you know theh are right.Now, never let social feedback dictate your actions, and never ignoee social feedback. Thats the paradox we have to live in.

3) because if the sence of worth for your actions is dependent in the value other people give them, your frame is subject to the frame of the reciever, and that makes your frame weaker.Part of being a leader is knowing whats best for the team, and in all situations you will find yourself in a team setup, in which you need to know how to make things work so that you and the other people in the team are beneficiated. Ill post about leadership later on, as im working o  a real guide on how to be a respected leader. But what concerns us here is the frame hierarchy in a group dynamic.In order for you to be the leader of the team, your frame has to be stronger than the rest. The frames of the people in your team, and in the potencial opposite team, have to be subject to your frame in order for you to win.
So in practice that means that you cant expect validation from the people arround you, because in order for you to be the leader you are the one that is suposed to validate the actions of other people, in the measure in which they are beneficiary to the objective of the team.
Lets use an example to clear the doubts: say you are the president of the united stares.This is a great example, as the president is democratically elected and is supposed to be the lesder, but also is supposed to respond to the people of his country. So there is a dynamic in which the voters are the ones that have the ultimate power over the president, but the president none the less has to lead those voters as any leader has to.
So, if you are the president, and im a voter, you cant be expecting me to thank you all the time can you? You as the president cant get down on yourself because people are not writing you thanks letters and quit, you have to lead. If the president one day came to the stage and was like you ingrateful people, all I do for you and you dont even take the time to write ma a thanks letter... would that make him look like he was in control of hes frame, or in desperate need for validation?

Another example. Say I bring roses to my girlfriends house and her cat just died and shes pretty sad about it. If I expect a reaction, in this case thanks but any reaction, and I dont get what I was expecting, I will feel that my action of buying and bringing those flowers was not apreciated, when in fact its just the cats death that made her less expresive, but she actually apreciates those flowers even more now that she is sad, and they provide  a sence of relief she is too troubled to express.

4) because if you do things expecting a reaction, especially thanks, you will be doing then with an agenda, an outcome dependancy. That is felt by other people, and woman are particulary sensitive to this kind of attitude.I  addition, it is just a very weak, needy place to come from, and we do it all the time withoutt even thinking about it.

This lesson is a particularization of Eckhart Tolle's being in the now teaching, in the sence that being in the now implies not expecting anything from the future, therefore not expecting any reaction in the future, therefore not expecting any thanks in the future.So we could extend this lesson to be named never expect any reactions for your actions, work with what is presented to you in the moment, and learn and train yourself to be good at improvisation, because as my drama reachers used to tell me, life is a big improvisation act, so learn to master the craft.

Thats it for today. I hope you have found value in this, next week we'll be talking about lesson 9, the last in this series, and Im proud to annouce that its been a success, so I have decided to expand this to the next level. I have recieved mails from many of you asking me about personal situations, and im glad to give you free advice, so I have opened an email adress: projectbuenosaires2013@gmail.com, and you can send me your questions there, ill respond in the next 24 to 48 hours depending on the complexity of the question. Also, sometimes I recieve requests to explain in more detail things in my posts or sugestions about topics to write about. Ill be takeing suggestions and requests on post topics at the same adress, or as a pm too.Lastly, im in twitter, you can look me up as @projectbsas, and there ill be anouncing new posts, new videos and more.

Jason

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There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

Blog:
http://selfdevelopmentpua.blogspot.com.ar/

Twitter:
@projectbsas

Email for free, anonymous private advice:
projectbuenosaires2013@gmail.com


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:01 pm 
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when will lesson 9 come?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:04 am 
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lesson 9

time has more than 1 dimention.

this lesson has a very well known implication, and we'll see that feeling like time goes faster when you have fun, and slower when you do nothing.

when i visited Los Angeles last month I had an experience that made me think twice about time and what it means. i wasnt sure if i was going to tell you this because after all, this is not lesson 9, this is lesson 20, and has a lot of depth.
so in los angeles, a friend of the family that lives there toled us that we should go to this observatory that they have, up in the hills.

so we went there and went to a showing they had in the planetarium. it was about the planets, and it at some point measured that time only exists when there is something that changes. if nothing changes, then how would we measure it?

so i started thinking about that. we measure time by cicles. a day is a cicle of the earth's spin, a year is a cicle of the earth's orbit arround the sun. so if nothing was changing, then how would we know if there is time?
if nothing ever moved we wouldn't even know what time meant.

so i started thinking, say your life was still the same after 5 years; those years would feel like it was 'just yesterday' and it will feels like it went by very quickly.
instead in those 5 years in which you learned a million things and experienced your first many things, those years seem to be more memorable and almost seem longer.
child years seem to have had more things changing, and seemed longer, didnt they?

so i started to think about time and understood that time is not only composed of length: past, future and preset; but by a dimention of intensity. so, i understood something that changed my view on life and is very hard to properly explain, but it basically states that:

you can have more time by having more change, and action in your life, because you need to understand that time is finite lengthwise but intense-wise its free to expand, and so it will.
if you give your time a lot of change, you will have 'more' time.

change in the scence of going skying, or taking a trip, of passing an important exam, or developing a project, that kind of change. other kinds of change will make your life more intence, but we could use an analogy with math to say that bad intenceness(like the loss of a loved one) will make your life intence in the negative side of its dimention.

so bring progress to your life, because that will make it intence and memorable, and when you are laying down in your death bed, as we all will, you will know that your life feels like it had more time, even thou is not longer than anyone else.

that was what i learned that day and have decided to guide my life acordingly. i tought i would share this lesson, the most important for me, instead of lesson 9, because seriously lesson 9 was pretty lame and i wanted to finish this series with a big one.

i hope you have liked this, as always feel free to contact me.

jason.

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There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

Blog:
http://selfdevelopmentpua.blogspot.com.ar/

Twitter:
@projectbsas

Email for free, anonymous private advice:
projectbuenosaires2013@gmail.com


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