I used to come here to lick my wounds whenever a date or text game didn't pan out. I've learned to handle the frustration, disappointment, and insecurity on my own for the past 2 years. I've got a lot of good friends, I socialize and connect with people easily; as long as I'm interested in somebody, it's pretty easy for me to find some common ground to build on with them. I've never been socially awkward and now I'm totally capable of attracting and holding the attention of social groups indefinitely, though I often turn the spotlight to others. Yet, I cannot get a date with a woman I want to save my life.

I'm constantly getting put into a holding pattern, like I get my foot in the door, I've got the girl's attention, but she's not ready to buy, she won't spend the time to get to know me one on one. They constantly tell me that MAYBE they'll be free some day in the future and to try back, like I'm not worth making plans with. You know this feeling, like she's saving you as the "back up" plan, but she doesn't get around to you? Not really looking for answers, I just wanted to vent in a place where I know guys understand my frustration, maybe have a little convo going.

There is so much to be said about this . . . How about take a look at this thread:

society-based-around-women-needs-vt1633 ... it=society based upon women needs

Uh thanks for taking the time, but I don't really feel like that relates.

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31 and still figuring it out.

There are many who thought so before, but in the end they all came around. And they will continue to. In the end, when something stares you right in the face, there's only so long one can keep fooling oneself.

*sigh* Can someone else please talk to me here?

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31 and still figuring it out.

Here's to your entitlement, someone with the same feelings as you:

post766557.html?hilit=too cynical now anyone the same#p766557

You need to learn that "maybe" means "No and I don't find you attractive". If a girl likes you, she will MAKE time for you, whether she is busy or not. This may sound harsh but you need some tough love. The frustration in your post is so clear that it glares at me from the page, purely from reading your written words on the screen. If I can see this, without even needing to look you in the eye, you can bet for sure that girls will see your exasperate desperation for approval and appreciation. I bet you think to yourself every day "But, I'm awesome and handsome, why don't these girls like me?". Instead of asking that question, replace it with a statement to yourself instead: "I am awesome and handsome and I don't need a woman's affection nor appreciation for me to recognise this."

Stop caring what a girl thinks of you. You need to truly love yourself before you can expect a girl to be open to the idea of loving you.

Hey thanks you guys. That person does sort of sound like me, Mr. Marville, but I'd rather be vulnerable and stabbed than not express my feelings. Sorry I shut you down, but I feel we are just not on the same wavelength.

Hunter_Foxe, take it easy. I am worried that my insecurity, my need to be appreciated does bleed out when I'm around people and that hurts my otherwise confident aura. I have good reasons for my manly deficiencies. So, you're reading me right there. You have to take into account that I was anonymously venting on a message board to my peers. I did not feel the need to pretty it up. Obviously, I don't communicate to anyone else like this, except close friends when I'm deeply frustrated.

I'd say "maybe" means more "you haven't impressed me enough to make plans yet, try harder". If a girl wanted to tell me no, she'd not reply or say she was too busy, if she wasn't attracted, why would she give me her number in the first place? This whole thing about not caring what people think of you is nonsense. Validation is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you're socially accepted. There's a name for people that genuinely don't care what others think of them: sociopaths. But probably I'm taking you way out of context and you are right, I need work on loving myself consistently.

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31 and still figuring it out.

In this case, you should listen to the guy. The deeper underlying point he makes is seeking social approval versus self-validation. For more about that, see this:

post734222.html?hilit=sexual exclusivity as a moral norm#p734222

Also a very important thread (guy who feels just like you):

uk-mega-virgin-frustrated-beyond-belief ... frustrated

Don't be another "The UK Frustrated Mega-Virgin Fights the Scythe of Evolution."

"Wavelength" has nothing to do with it: A = A, B = B. Goes back to Aristotle, Ayn Rand and ultimately to recognizing reality for what it is, which means choosing life. The rest is deluding yourself and choosing oblivion and what is by extent, death. "Wavelength" is a pseudo-spiritualistic term used to indulge in relativism.

The reason I just paste these links is because dozens of guys like you write this comment. A general state of depression and feeling unfulfilled. Such persons join the forum, make a bunch of comments then disappear. Better just to paste the info that goes for 99.9% of the cases than to cater to the myth that everyone is a unique snowflake.