So gf's been acting a bit sneakily with her phone. Sometimes receives phone calls from unknown numbers. Recently a text that had her best girl friend's name on it saying "What's up baby :*" which she didn;t reply to, saying she doesn't know whether her friend is in another country or not, I can't really be suspicious on that one.
We've been seeing eachother mostly on weekends or Friday+weekend because I now have to be in other town.
The only people who I know she gets messages on SPAM are her ex and a girl friend who lives in the UK.
She was last active on the last day before she came to be with me for 4 days, until last night. We have incredible sex, so bad sex is out of the picture.
To the story- I went to bed at around 12 because I have an exam in the morning, going to it in 30mins actually. She usually stays up late, the day before - up to 7am. This night, I woke up at accidentally at 4:24, checked my SPAM messanger because a friend had left messages. GF also had 2 texts saying how much she misses me and w/e, I don't chat much with her on that messanger - only texts/fb. Anyways, she was last online on 4:23 so I wondered who she was messaging at that time and stalked her a bit. Decided I'd open her ex's chat window on my phone - same time. They chatted until 5:06 and then both went to bed.
I'm having some serious trust issues with this girl - seems really attached when she's with me and a bit distant when I'm not in town.


I seek advice. I'm coming back to town later today - Do I bring this up and next her if she acts strange or lets me see chat and really has chatted with him? Or do I keep silent? It's been a tough night for me and I'm constantly thinking about this

Honestly man...

I'm going to give you the cold truth.

Chances are they're banging. You don't stay up till 5am messaging someone you don't have feelings for.

If she hasn't cheated on you yet, she will.

You can bring it up but you're going to sounds insecure and needy.

Honest advice... Start seeing other women and keep her on the side. Get some trophy pics for when she loses her mind and breaks up with you and says she was cheating. Then just pull up pictures of multiple girls (extra points if she has a sister or best friend, fuck them in her bed)

Dead serious tho... Your relationships over. And sadly, I know you're going to ignore my advice or argue it.


Cheers and sorry for your lose mate.


Good luck.

Alpha.

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I don't f*ck fatties

+1 ^

How can you read other people's late night chats on your phone? :s

Or did you look through her phone??

What were said between her and the ex? Was it small talk or was it a lot worse than that?

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Just an observation of mine is that with all these texting APPS and social media/online dating sites, it's makes it much more easier for women to behave this way.

And I've gotten insecure on one too many occasions and totally fucked up a really good thing.

How long have you two been dating? My advice is don't even bring it up, don't even think about it.

Unless you two have previously talked about being exclusive etc, then technically, she still has this freedom to talk to whoever she wants. Just because she's your "girlfriend" does not imply it's an exclusive relationship for all women.

Just bring that up with her first and see if she wants to take the relationship to that level. If not, do as you please.

PS I've noticed if I ever confront a chick about something, i.e. "Why were you online so late last night chatting with him?"

It will often times end bad. She will get defensive, make up lies/excuses, distance herself even, etc. So do it indirectly by making it only about you, her, and your relationship with her.

I saw them both online at the same time and It was very late, the thing kept going (as i know from when I woke up at 4:23) to 5:06. They were very active in online/last seen status on SPAM. There aren't many people messaging her on SPAM.
@AlphaConfidence I take your advice and I completely know where this is going but i'll bring it up before breaking up, I feel I at least ought to know. Doubt they're banging tho, close to no chance, she has multiple orgasms every time we have sex and we bang one to two times every time we see eachother so dno. She is also on her period right now (3rd day in).
It;s also not new for her to stay late, she usually plays a video game till late and gets up around 2 pm every day.

@Neutrino - we've been exclusively dating for 3 months, hit the 3month mark yesterday.


I'm going to meet her, ask her whats up and break up with her if I'm right about that. She is usually against her ex, I literally started going out with her in front of his eyes. She just seems really really attached to me. Don't know. I think i'll bring it up today and see what happens, I won't ask why she did it - just gonna see whether it was him or not. If it was him, the only oppurtunity for her would be if he was bothering her and I see the chat.
I have other open oppurtunities but I really wanted a change, took this one a bit more seriously and thought this would be different. Guess not... but we'll see

Well, it's about bounderies. We must focus on you, not on her, cause you can change you but you can't change her. The fact is, it hurts you that she chats with her ex boyfriend.

Which is a normal thing.

You can jump conclusions like a poster said above, but i don't see why? She's your girlfriend, so i sugest you sit her down, tell her that you know she chats with her ex boyfriend, and be honest. It hurts you, and the fact that she does that, is bad for your relationship, to the point it might end. She needs to know the truth. That's the only thing you can do in this situation, she'll probably understand.

You must tell her, that it's no problem if she would rather be with him (You can get as many girls as you want, so losing 1 isn't a big deal). But if that's the case she should say so, that you know you are not wasting your time.

No drama, clean talking, and you'll know where you're at.

Good luck

This is good advice. Really, confronting her will do nothing. You have no real proof but it's obvious. She will just deny and hide it better. You might as well say nothing.

The advice you guys give is just ridicolous. Alpha doesn't mean big fucking asshole. You can't just jump to conclusions over a clock on SPAM.

Handle your bussiness as a fucking man, not as a little child who says "I can't have that candy, so i'll lick all the others, nah".

Tell her you know, what does it matter if she denies it. If anything weird occures, take action. Be ready to leave her, but do it in an adult way. Make sure if you leave her, you can still fuck her in 2 months when you feel like it.

Good idea, ignore my advice and follow a guy who has a pink tiger as his "avatar" and pinkstar as his name. I'm sure he's great with women and not just a key board jockey.


Alpha.

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I don't f*ck fatties

Ps: Ridiculous*


Fucking people now a days acting up and spelling shit wrong. Drives me mad.

@P1nkstar

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I don't f*ck fatties

Ok. Got back in town thursday afternoon, didn't call her. She calls at around 8 and asks what's up. I said I was in town having fun with friends in a cafe. She asked why I hadnd't called and I said "don't know". She asked whether she could come and whether something has happened for me to act like that, I said she can come if she wants to and we'll talk. Broke up with her that Thursday night. Said I couldn't trust her with such behaviour. She explained herself, saying he (her ex) doesn't mean anything to her anymore, she just happens to play this game with him from time to time and she only wanted to tell him they won't play. - I'm actually having some doubts because they messaged a lot and that explaining took some time.
Anyways, she started crying, begging me not to leave her, "Why are you doing this to me?" such crap. Called a cab, she didn't want to take it, I cancelled it and went back to the bar I was with friends.
She wrote me 3 wall-of-text messages swearing it was only the game and some new character or sth - I didn't respond.
Next day she messaged one of the closest to me girls - my cousin- about us breaking up and how she felt about it.
A bit later, she messaged a guy friend of mine I was at the bar with, asking whether I wanted to be with her or I didn't want to see her anymore. I didn't respond again, told him to say he doesn't know about my intentions. He only told her we were going out that night. She called him later twice while I was with him, just before going to the disco. No answer.
She texted another friend who was with me- literally begging me to take her back and that she would erase her ex's number. No response by me, he texted her "Wrong number".

I was at the disco on the first floor. She walked in with 2 of her friends, they went to the 3rd floor - right over us. She said she had felt awful and stalked me from the top whole night.

Messaged me again at around 1:10 - "I thought we'd be together tonight and not act like strangers"
I responded around 15mins later with "Come up to here".
Went out and we sat on a bench. Asked what's up. She said she really missed me and she started crying. She said she didn't want to lose me over such thing, that she hadnd't done anything. Pushed her phone in front me of and bursted in tears, which I felt like was completely genuine. That was enough for me and we made out. Came with me home and gave me a 30-min blowjob to which I couldn't finish because I was drunk. Messaged her mother she will sleep at my place (had never done that before) and came in bed with me. Not only had she never slept at my place but she always calls and asks her mother whether she could stay more with me before she picks her up.


Anyways, she also told me she had felt awful for me asking an ex of mine about a restaurant working-time and how she felt insecure about me being away and her not knowing who I'm meeting.
Last night I talked to her about this, wanted to set boundaries. I realised I had never set boundaries, and we're in a LTR. Gave her a talk about that and stated mine. I said that as long as she makes me happy and keeps me interested, I won't cheat her. She asked me to tell her if any of that starts to change. She didn't state her boundaries. Was pleased to hear mine.

Talk was good and interesting. We started getting dirty over the phone, after a while I said I have to go eat, hang up. She sent nudes over fb chat, started talking about how amazing the sex was and how she wanted it, how she really wanted me to fuck her and she's horny. Some really dirty stuff she told me she liked I was doing.
It was getting late, a little before 2am.
It was all fine till then but I checked and she was on SPAM last at 1:46, same time as her ex. We continued to chat regardless. Then again at 2:16.
I said I was going to bed and she said she wanted to be there with me. Messaged her sth along the lines of "As long as that's the only bed you want to be in and you're not just like the average sluts who jump in everyone's". She said she's not like that and told me she would go do her hair because she wouldn't be able to today, has to watch her little cousin, 2:21.
She was on SPAM 2:20. I went to bed. Had hard few minutes before I fell asleep. I have doubts again.
I know it takes her about 2 hours to wash and get her hair done, I know she hasn't left home because her mother won't let her do that past midnight, unless she's with me.
Her ex's last online time- 5:20. Her's - 6:43.

Just to make it clear, I didn't bring it up as I saw it last night. But wtf? She is a good girl, has interest, said she had never cheated on anyone (she's slept with me and 2 other guys only). I'm really worried because I got her horny and then she apperantly had messaged her ex? I trust her she doesn't meet him and won't bang him behind my back but how do I stop this without sounding overly protective and AFC?
She mentioned as we talked on the phone that she was about to tell me about the whole thing with the game but I had overreacted too fast. Should I wait for her to tell me now? Do I ask her boundaries and want her to set them?
This is really tearing me apart.

You acted alpha. Aloof. And you WALKED AWAY! Then... You beta-ed it back up! And took her back. After only A NIGHT! You need to gain hand in the relationship. She sounds like a sociopath, maybe a psychopath. She's either cheating on you, or she is pulling her ex along. Either way, do you think you deserve that? Be a man of high standards and high expectation, your status diminished when you took her back. Her ex will thank you for that. I'm being serious man. End it. You can't call her on it, because you'll seem insecure and needy and she will feel good about leaving you. If your gut says she messaging him is, chances are she is. If you're that insecure about it, step up your game and get a few on the side. Then you'll gain hand, cause you truely won't give a fuck.


Alpha.

_________________
I don't f*ck fatties

Her mother came to us and said he had been disturbing her all the time and they tried to block him in some way.
Don't know if I should believe or not, she also called my mother on the phone. Texted me she had never seen her daughter in such misery before. Gf swears she never had interest in anyone except me and she wants to be with me.
Also showed me a chat where she basically tells a guy friend of her ex that she wants him to stop bugging her.
Would you believe that?
About the SPAM, she said she had been checking me the last time.

I think any girl that can fuck with you that much. You should drop. That being said, it doesn't add up. Get his number, call him in front of her on speaker and tell him if he doesn't leave her alone you're going to beat his ass for harrasment. Chances are he'll say she's been messaging him. If he does. Beleive it.

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I don't f*ck fatties

work on your insecurities op, if you can't trust the person you're with, you shouldn't be with them in a monogamous way

girls are people not property and if you treat her like your robocop and worry 24 hours about if she is going to cheat while constantly keeping her under the gun and spying on her, it's eventually going to become a self fulfilling prophecy, you're going to just lose her respect and she will likely drop you or do what you are so afraid she's going to do

imagine if you had a gf that was playing detective on you day in and day out and threatening to leave you and being paranoid that you were cheating, if you were or were not cheating, either way imagine how that would make you feel, would you want to be with someone that was possessive and didn't even think enough of you to trust you?

girls are always going to be attracted to lots of guys, there's nothing you can do about that, just like you will be attracted to lots of girls, but there's a huge difference between being attracted to someone, or staying in touch with someone you know, or simply talking to a guy and her going over to some guys house to suck his dick, it doesn't take much self control to not cheat, and even if that really rustles your jimmies then you should probably not be dating girls you can't trust, just stay single and sleep with a bunch of girls until you are ready to handle a relationship, if you truly know you're a prize that any girl would want to be with and that you could get a girl any time, why would you be worried about cheating? you'd just go about your business and if you couldn't trust a girl, oh well just dump her and get a new one, oh well life goes on not a big deal