It is confusing. I don't know the answers to any of your questions and I hate it. Not knowing if it's a break and she's waiting, or a breakup and she's moving on. That's what's driving me insane. I did end up contacting the male roommate. I can definitely trust him. He said she hasn't said anything so far (maybe because she's quiet and wants to keep it to herself; or she thinks it's a break and doesn't want to make a big deal about it if we'll be back together?) and he promises he won't tell her I contacted him. He thinks I should just talk to her. I'm just afraid that will push her away and I'm better off treating it like a breakup, moving on and contacting her casually in 4 weeks. The ironic thing is the whole situation is making my mental health worse, and I know I need to be mentally stable to meet up with her anyway. It's one of the reasons I wanted to take a break. I want to be better before moving forward.

If and when I contact her though, do you think I should text her casually and and cheerily, as if I'm trying to the end the break? It's been 6 days. I feel like I'm running out of time to text her and say "We need to talk." I'm really over thinking it. If any other members read this, please jump in with your recommendations. The more the merrier.

I didn't read the entire thread but from the OP, it sounds like maybe she had cheated or is seeing someone else. That's what my first thought was.

And her "communication problems" is BS, she's bitching out and not worth to deal with considering how ridiculous and disrespectful she has been with you.

If you text her, I would open with "hey babe, how was your 4th?"

Don't bring up "the talk" right away......Just get some feedback from her, say you miss her (if you can pull it off, don't think that would work if it's not natural or if you aren't very alpha). Just don't be needy like your life will fall apart without her.

Did you guys spend a lot of time together as a couple weekly?

Since she doesn't want to talk about it and was willing to see if "the feeling" she was having would go away, I thought it'd be better off to text her casually and try to pick things up where we left off before the sudden break.

We would get together about 2-3 times per week. One of those times would be on the weekend and might span a whole 24 hours together. Other times, it would just be at night (8pm until she'd leave in the morning before work).

I really doubt she's cheating. She always said that we had really great sex.

So she is "quiet and shy?"

This indicates that she has more of an introverted personality and YES is emotionally and probably mentally drained right now. Introverted personalities (including myself) feel energized and most comfortable/happy when they are alone and in private. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are recluse or have a social disfunction, because we introverts can be perfectly sociable with the extroverted personalities with practice.

Bottom line, yes she needs her space, but don't let her slip away though. That's why I think my original feedback would work fine.

1) Casual convo >> Hey babe, how was your 4th?

She will respond with an answer, and probably ask how you've been. You just keep cool and brief answers. Expect her to lead, but if she doesn't respond within 10-15 minutes of your initial replies, just say "Miss ya babe, let me know if you want to get together this week?"

^^This way the talk can be had in person (over the phone and texts can be draining and non-engaging.

2) Exciting convo >> "Babee! I got tickets to ____, come with me!" or just tell her you did something awesome this past weekend/holiday....jetskis, vacation, something that she would have liked to do with you and you can actually go out and do it too with someone to make it more credible.

3) DO NOT: be needy, act like a bitch, get angry, insult her, rush her, cuss at her, or give her long ass text messages that are tiring and annoying to read.

Using 1 or 2, I think you will at least have a casual conversation first and see how she reacts (maybe she will act as if nothing ever happened, but of course that can of worms will eventually have to be opened).

Best of luck man, I'd hate to be in that situation.

Thanks. How long do you think I should wait to contact her? I'd rather go no contact for a while so that she's thinking about me more and more, as someone had mentioned earlier. I also have an "in" with her male roommate. He said he'll tell me anything that he hears from her or any of their other roommates, etc.

It's also important to note that I deal with chronic anxiety and depression, which has gotten worse lately. She said that wasn't the reason why she was feeling different. But I still think it contributed. I'm on one that has worked in the past and will definitely get me back to where I was when I first met her. Hopefully she wants to meet up and recognizes the change.

New update: One of her roommates texted me earlier in the week, really trying to get me to come out with him to a concert. I said I couldn't because of class, but also because I didn't want to run into her there. He responded really quickly, telling me to skip class.

Fast forward to today - I asked him if he was going to the Wu Tang concert. He was really stoked about it the last time I spoke to him in person about it. It's been 5 hours and he hasn't responded to the text. I also saw him on Facebook chat and asked him about it. He completely ignored me. It said the message has been "seen." What does this tell you guys? For him to start acting so differently, she must have said something to him, right? I guess we won't know what she said. But I'm guessing she told him "we broke up." What do you think? Does information help me?

Anybody else got advice? I'm really lost about this. Clearly she's said something to her roommates though, I'm just not sure what.