Have been reading through the forums and cant find a similar situation.

LONG STORY SHORT. kind of

Known her for a little over a year(some complicated ex stuff). Both in 30s, divorced, have kids full time. Get to know each other as friends (light funny talk etc, slowly talk life) anyways we make a bet, she loses and is supposed to take me out for wine and dine, I spin it around to come to my place for cooking and movie, convince her to come over while I am cooking for talk. Things turn out good, escalating, everything but sex and she leaves about 4 am saying she wants to get to know me better and get to be friends. Next day late morning she texts and asks me to come over and watch movie we didn't watch it, sex instead. She states after that she hopes that isn't all I am interested in. I say not. She also says she wants to take things slow. Anyways a few months go by talk alot, phone, text, meetups, hookup, always fun and light hearted.

Early on we had a talk about other girls and other guys she pulled away after. I told her I feel that I can't make an honest attempt getting to know her if I was messing around with others. Its just not me. In my younger days yes but not these days. She said she doesn't see a problem hanging out with others but sex is a definite no, she would feel like a skank. A couple days later She said she needed a break to get away from everyone. Gave it to her and next day she text in the afternoon "Miss Me?" I said yup, did you? She text back Yes:). Things went back to normal. I think this is baggage she needed to sort out.

So far everything great until after last time together. We hookup at her place around 1 I leave. (she has said before that overnights makes her feel cornered and in a relationship, so I respect that and head out.) Next day she calls and asks how I feel about the way things are going? I say pretty much "I like the way they are and I like her a lot but also don't want any drastic changes."

This was also the first time we have met up more than once in a week. I have always tried to escalate the relationship in little ways. Then this week I asked her if I could come by her place one night, she said she had to work late but was fine with that. I ended up backing out because I had a weird gut feeling that she just agreed to be nice. The next night I asked her if she was seeing anyone else and she said she wanted to take some time for herself and think about things. I was ok with that but what struck me as odd she kept stringing out the conversation. At one point she made a statement to the effect of she wants to make sure she is ok being alone??????

I will be the first to admit I have AFCed a few times.
1. I bought her flowers once for no reason ( her response was no one has ever done that for no reason)
2. I cooked for her initially ( On the flip side she has brought me meals which is a 20 mile trip)
3. I text her consistently almost constantly. (she is always responsive, and if I don't she will for no reason " hows your day, etc.)
4. We talk a lot on the phone ( a lot about family things and parenting)
5. Told her I admire her and think she is great and I would like to have a relationship with her
6. We have had the other guys talk that didn't go well. She says she doesn't see anything wrong with hanging out but definitely nothing more. She tells me other guys hit on her etc. My response is any halfway decent woman will get hit on, that's life and its kinda a compliment. I also said very few men are capable of not wanting more than friendship. She kind of blew up at that but calmed herself.
7. I did buy her a reasonable birthday present (she loved)

She was married to a very controlling person who would not let her have girl friends, nor leave the house alone. He was cheating on her and of course kids are involved.

She has told me of another younger guy she dated that she really liked a lot that kinda let her down with the whole not wanting a ready made family. I could see her with him if he changed his mind, and I told her that at one point in a conversation. Dooohhhhh!

2 days after she wanted her break or time I text her that I wanted to ask her something about my daughter, and that I knew I was breaking her rule. She strung out the conversation, talking about some creep as she said that she thought he was trying to kiss her, I responded with " If I knew the guy I could tell him how to get a first kiss from you" She laughed. Anyways cut her off mid conversation for an appointment. She said give her a call. I do later and we get interrupted again and I say " Ill call ya later I wanna talk to you later about a few things I am confused about". She responds with "you are supposed to be giving me a break" in kinda a bitchy tone. I say " I know but I will talk to you later I gotta go". I then text her back saying " Nevermind, Sorry. you are the one I talk to about these things in a realistic way." No response, I haven't tried either.

Thinking sit here and let her reinitiate.

I like her a lot and could see things moving forward, I am not worried in the least about other guys, I just want to know how to respond when she reinitiates and respark her attraction and reframe the relationship to her chasing as I felt before I was always chasing trying to move the relationship along. I also always sensed a little bit of hot cold in her. I would definitely like to feel a little investment from her. I sense more than anything she is scared to be commited and have gotten the FWB vibe from her but I have no experience in that department. Have had FB before. I don't want that. I feel she is okay with a relationship but getting there slowly (Trust issues?). Who knows she may not contact me which sucks because I feel like I did nothing wrong but ok if she doesn't.

Not sure how to handle her reinitiating contact but I also feel I would be an idiot to let it slide but I don't want to be douchy by acting WTF?! How do I successfully get her to pace the relationship at her comfort. I felt like it was just creeping along.

Last contact was yesterday afternoon.

Any responses would be greatly appreciated. If anyone would like more detailed interaction let me know. I just don't want to air out detailed word for word conversations in public.

If I understand correctly, what you want is to reframe for her to chase you. Unfortunately, there is no easy remedy to that. In truth, you've already set the expectation that you'll re-initiate contact with her. You set such a precedent by being the one to constantly initiate. It might have been easier if you hadn't AFCed on her by being the one to try to push for a relationship. What you can do is try reverse psychology on her by taking a vibe of "yeah I like you but I'm not convinced things will work out." That entails not only delivering those words, but also putting up such an elaborate impression throughout the whole act. You also need to understand you need to be psychologically ready to lose her.

Thanks Betamax.....
An Update
Still haven't made contact. Went out last night with an chick friend. Had good time had too many etc.
Chick in question text me an hour an a half ago "Sorry was gonna call you last night and I fell asleep with *her Kid*. Is it ok if I call you later tonight after kids are in bed? we are going swimming for a while now."

I waited about 4 hours and responded with "Yes". Was gonna with "No problem. I was out with a friend last night anyways. I will be home so tonight is fine." But I am thinking just leave it be and let her do the legwork. I am kind of pissed feeling that she was trying to punish me for something but I really do think she needed a bit of me time.

My goals are this
Get back to a FWB at least
Put the pace of the whole thing on her
Have her chase and invest
Make her feel like she has something to lose.
Use the given opportunity to make a big change and reframe

Again I am certain we will have a phone conversation, do I just act like no big deal, be really vague about my goings on, etc. I don't feel like talking about the break she needed or relationship stuff.