I know that sounds a bit strange, but I will give you the entirety of my situation if you are willing to read it.

I've been sarging for just over a year. When I first began sarging, I was obviously driven by neediness/validation, etc... I would feel nervous/worried about whether I would close someone that night.

At this point in time I am no longer driven by neediness or anything, my initially beta view of myself has gave way to an alpha personality with all the development I've accumulated, which is reflected in my sarging. I can get laid sort of consistently (i.e. 1/2 girls a month), I'm actually really good with seducing girls over text which usually helps. But ideally, I want to be pulling girls from nights out pretty consistently.

Now here's the problem: I really want to achieve a lot of SNL's and develop myself further, but now that I don't feel needy anymore I am experiencing an extreme lack of motivation. Funnily enough, I get laid more because I am not beta anymore, but there's a massive amount of potential I am not tapping into.

I was motivated by the pain of being a massive chode (like I used to be), but now that I'm obviously not anymore I need to find a way to become motivated by pleasure in order to develop myself

Don't get me wrong... I do enjoy going out with friends and wings and chatting to people and opening girls, but when I come across windows of opportunity to take things further/escalate harder, and basically just seize oppurtunities in front of me I feel held back by the effort it would take to do that. It's like I'm torn between the pleasure of developing myself further/having even more girls in my life and the pain of effort that I am not willing to expend.

What I'm asking you is this: How do I genuinely enjoy pulling the trigger and taking things steps further with the women I sarge?

Thanks

Ninja

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Hey Ninja sorry I cant really help you here. But I can sort of relate, all I can do is share what I have learnt so far.

When I first started Sarging 3 months ago, it was just approach every set. xhaust the venue and move on. It wasn't the right approach, it looked needy. But I felt validated as it was something I couldnt do before. However it became like clockwork, I knew I was just an approach artist. However I needed that validation so badly I couldnt see where I was going wrong, but I knew something was wrong.

Last night I went out with my mates "just to have fun", we are all into pickup and are at various levels. Not as advanced as you sound though, we are still beginners. But once I sat back and just enjoyed myself, I noticed the sets would appear as if by magic and I wasn't just doing cold approaches anymore. I got further in sets last night than I ever have done, just because probably, I didn't appear needy as I didn't need the validation.

But my initial fear was, if Im just gonna have fun and not focus on women. Then I am not gonna get women. But funnily enough attraction and instinct took over.

But to GET me motivated to this point, I had to PUSH myself out f my COMFORT ZONE. I decided to try and make friends with everyone and that included opening guys (not seductively just being friendly).

I think you need to discover a sticking point and decide to work on it. But the problem is you need a sticking point first and actually recognise it. This is what I find is the toughest bit. Discovering what my sticking points are. I cant afford a boot camp so I don't have the luxury of having it all pointed out.

You need to set yourself a GOAL, what is your GOAL and AIM????

It is only by having GOALS and AIMS that we are motivated.

Sounds like you have achieved your aim and get laid a lot, so you have lost the motivation because you know you can do it so you have nothing to prove to yourself.

A lot of people have been suggesting that on different forums

I think a good goal would be to practice physical escalation religiously. Fast physical escalation and all that, being ballsy and making me excited so I break through that barrier. Or maybe numerical goals, like getting 2 numbers a night...

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

Lack of motivation is key here. I felt the same way about a few weeks ago. Iv been dating this girl in a LDR for 6 months and everything is awesome. However, part of me knew i needed to get our and sarge to better myself. It was only when I became AWARE of this that I have started to put it into action. I would read more, study more, and write more and like the other guy said, find a GOAL or something that interests you intrinsically. That will be rewarding and fun!

GL
Duke

I've actually come across the real reason for this 'motivation loss' now, it's to do with my ego trying to protect itself basically, I know I'm at a decent level of game so it's like my mind is trying to prevent me from undergoing further harm to my ego through putting myself out there, rejection, etc...

What happens is I will open a girl, it will all go well... and my ego will use those vibes to empower itself. But I feel like there is a barrier from pushing myself further... ofc my ego doesn't want to risk being rejected. I even hesitate when open girls now because of it. But it is COMPLETELY NECESSARY that I desensitise my ego and put things aside, jump into the bullshit and get rejected left right and center.

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

You gentlemen seem very smart and on the right track. However, If I may suggest, in my humble opinion, which I'm sure you guys are well aware of...If you are using the word " worry" ," risk", "ego", then I believe your state of mind is all wrong. Change your state of mind, and you will change the results you are getting. Worry is the kissing cousin of fear. Risk is a word based on luck, and luck is irrelevant, because the more you approach and the more you escalate, the more you will succeed; its a mathematical fact.

Ego is a tricky subject. I usually try to keep all emotion out of anything that has to do with women; Ego is useless as its simply just self esteem. We are beyond self esteem and feelings of self worth because we simply " do not care what women think", and therefor nothing they say or do can effect our emotional state. Not only this, but emotion as I've said, should be left out of the equation, and thus Ego is null. Ego is also destructive because it makes you poor at decision making. For instance, lets say you get a girls number, then as your walking away you instantly see another girl you want to approach, and so you do, because of your ego, you lose them both. They both have seen what you have done, because your ego has blinded you to the reality of the situation....

Haha... as much as I would like to destroy any words with negative implications from my vocab, I really don't have the time or effort for that. I think it's better to embrace any negativity and dealing with it instead of shutting it out. Somehow I think this little sticking point demands attention than changing a few words around lol!

I know where you are coming from. But here's the paradox: I am not my ego, no one is. The ego is a little construct that everyone has to protect us from perceived harm, look good and be right. I am steadily managing to overcome my ego's boundaries quickly however. I find it quite liberating and fun to do it actually.

Like you said; the more I risk, the more I gain. The worst case scenario is rejection, and let's be honest... what is rejection in comparison with a greatly built self-esteem and quality of life and the dating/sex life of your dreams?

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email cheers!

A lot has been said about motivation and ego but i thought of another thing actually, agree or diasgree.

I mean the need to enjoy the process which i think is one of the most relevant points in sarging. A lot of people do the approach or whatnot in a manner of excerise a la ten approaches here and ten there. You are obviously out of the AA already and that state but the question thet remains is the enjoying part.

When you do sarge a girl the point is to make her feel comfortable and have fun around you. Now i think it goes both ways. If you feel comfortable and have fun then you enjoy the sarging as well, no? That's where the motivation comes too. You feel good during the interaction.

I think quality always trumps quantity. You start enjoying the process if you invest enough emotion.