We hung out once a while back, everything went pretty well on this 16hr date. We make plans to get together again, but then out of nowhere she sends me an email saying she doesn't want to get involved, timing is bad, Sorry, etc..

She gets back from vacation and texts me "let's get together soon." We make plans, she cancels. We make other plans, I cancel only because I was really sick. We make plans yet, and she leaves me a message 2 hrs before I was supposed to pick her up:

"I'm sorry.. I'm so lame.. this isn't fair to keep canceling on you, but I'm so lame.. sorry.. I'm just going to stay in tonight.."

I didn't call or text her back... I really can't take this personally because I have observed (and heard from others) that she is crazy. Besides, only a week or so earlier she was texting me out of the blue telling me she wants to get together soon.. It's not like I blew it sometime in between.

Normally I would just move on, but I really want to get with this girl.. The last time we hung out I was AFC.. I mostly want to get her out for drinks or something to show her who I am now.. I think once she sees me now, I'll f-close her.. I was real close the first (and last) time we hung out.. But, as I said, I was AFC, and didn't know what to do about LMR.

To call? Text? When?

Thanks, guys

I thought about calling her back, but didn't want to come across desperate.

Maybe in two weeks I will text her. (She never picks up her phone, even then, she can take up to 24hrs to return a text.. I'm telling you... she is a hermit and a weirdo.) I think I have a better shot at getting her to the bar if I drop an FTC and invite her for happy hr so she can roll by the bar right after work.

What about something like this in a text:

"Let's get drinks this week-- Tues or Wed.. Which day is best? I only have an hr or so either day, but I do want to catch up with you."

Should I tell her I will pull her to the bar by her hair?


She has told me she has low self esteem.. I think she might respond to the "pulling hair" comment... The vibe I get from her is no so much that she doesn't like me or that she wants to play games... I think she feels like she owes me something.

First of all, why is it that you really want this girl? It sounds like you would be inviting drama into your life.

Well, anyway, if you really do want her, and she's a hermit, therefore basically a loner, then you're gonna have a struggle. If you make plans with her and she flakes, which she has, then you have to put your foot down. You have to lay down the law and say this it how it is, period. If she has low self-esteem, as you say, that may or may not work for you. My suggestion is to have her to come over to your place. Forget about going out. Tell her to come over and play a game with you.