Hey all.

I have had 3 months of just walking into bars scanning the room. Opening all the sets using my planned routines and getting nowhere. I have approached an 11 set and a 13 set. They are the biggest sets I have opened.

Yet when ever I have had success its not been a set I was planning on opening, it just happened naturally. Then I just used the principles of attraction, comfort and seduction. It all seemed to flow naturally and it worked.

Yet last night it was pointed out by an observer that it was obvious what we were doing.

Me and my wing were in a club and we just focussed on having a laugh and a good time instead. Soon the girls were more interested because we wernt just focussing on them. It was amazing.

Yet if Im just focussing on having a laugh, how do I then approach a set. I know that sounds weird but Im hoping someone understands what Im asking. If the girls notice it the minute I take a look around, then how will I know where the set is to approach.

If Im just going out to have a good time and ignore everyone then in theory I will never open a set.

SOrry Im starting to understand natural game. But last night I got so much more interest because I didn't give any I don't know where to take this.

Two of the sets I opened, were the best I have ever had. I just didn't lean in and I spoke at them. They moved closer, leaned in. And in one case I think tried to kiss me, but I went to kiss her on the cheek then she moved her face and it just felt awkward. Like she went for kiss on lips and I went for kiss on cheek.

Yet because I wasn't focussing on routines, I was just chatting. Sure I still displayed value and was flirty. But she just opened up to me like nothing Ive ever experienced before.

Anyway how do you transition from having fun, to apptoaching. Im a bit paranoid now of looking for girls.

Please help, please explain.

I learnt a lot last night but its like 2 steps forward and one step back.

What I find works for me: I would still open! Open girls in proximity because that's just who you are. Open because you want them to enter your world, your unique frame, then just be natural. If you can, try to get a girl to wing with you and she'll help build comfort. Sometimes a girl will do all the work for you haha. Hope this helps.

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Bon Temps

This is the best thing to do. Just have a good time and "open" any girl you see that's nearby. If you have good, strong, alpha body language are dressed decently and a friendly, confident smile, women will notice you and look at you.

In fact, you don't even need to open. Just get eye contact and force an IOI with a smile, a wave or whatever just something unambiguous, you get a smile or a good reaction you are in. Approach like it's a reflex, escalate from the outset and stop/pause if you get a red light.

Just started doing this recently and, but for getting waaaay too pissed A couple of times (I like drinking haha) I've pulled every night I've gone out In the last 3 weeks. I seriously wish I'd discovered this years ago (thank the gods for YouTube) as I never thought it could be this bloody easy.

[quote="Mattr1984"]This is the best thing to do. Just have a good time and "open" any girl you see that's nearby. If you have good, strong, alpha body language are dressed decently and a friendly, confident smile, women will notice you and look at you.

In fact, you don't even need to open. Just get eye contact and force an IOI with a smile, a wave or whatever just something unambiguous, you get a smile or a good reaction you are in. Approach like it's a reflex, escalate from the outset and stop/pause if you get a red light.

Just started doing this recently and, but for getting waaaay too pissed A couple of times (I like drinking haha) I've pulled every night I've gone out In the last 3 weeks. I seriously wish I'd discovered this years ago (thank the gods for YouTube) as I never thought it could be this bloody easy.[/quote]


Good advice! Any particular Youtube videos you would recommend..?

Thanks for the replies guys. I feel like ive spent too long focussing on just approaching and Ive not been enjoying myself unless Im doing that. But a girl is attracted to a guy who can have fun without needing her for validation.

Ive always known this but Ive never truly understood it for now.

I had the best ever repsonses from women this weekend (decent women) and I didn't even try. But my confidence was there. It was just weird. I didn't need to think about routines or anything.

Sure I understand about value, attraction, comfort, flirting and all that. But as I wasn't thinking about it, it just came naturally.

Don't get me wrong the hundreds of women I have approached and just tried routines on, have helped, but I just don't feel the need to validate myself by doing that anymore.

I feel like I don't need to prove myself, I think I was just proving myself to myself before. Not the ladies. Now they seriously don't phase me, and just being myself seems to get the better results. And its more fun.

Think of it this way dude....

There are no strangers, just friends we haven't met yet. When you are out, you are celebrating with your friends. Everyone is your friend. Talk to them the way you would talk to friends except know when to switch gears.

I think my main sticking point here is as follows.

Up until Saturday night I thought "having game" was walking into a bar and opening every set and then leaving. This all changed as in one bar, I just went in with a mate and an awesome dude we had met wh was giving us pointers. I spoke to two girls. I didn't even plan on speaking to them, and it was awesome like I have previously said. I should of took it further but I didn't. I had just never had responses like that ever....

anyway I ran my NLP based mindset change and altered my self beliefs. But now Im worried I will be that focussed on having fun I wont chat to girls unless I go back to my old ways.

But then again, like I said I didn't intend on speaking to those two sets in that bar at that time.

So I guess it will just happen naturally.

Sorry just one of those massive life changing revelations.

I focussed too much on what to say not HOW I was saying it.

Although I do feel Im on the right path at long last, now Im not worrying about whether what I say displays enough DHV. I don't give a shit if it does or it dosnt. In a way I guess that attitude give DHV though.

Watch all of gamblers stuff. I've watched a few different trainers and he is far and away the best.

YouTube - "gambler the key to night game" it's over an hour long and is awesome!

Discovering Natural Game was the best thing ever for me. I first got into the community about 10 years ago, and like everyone else I started with the Mystery Method and such. I couldn't get it. It never felt comfortable to me, because it wasn't me. I felt like a pro-wrestler putting on his gimmick, and it was way too much work for me. I discovered natural though and it fell into place immediately. It took literally no effort to win. Once I got my confidence where it needed to be, it really made me realize the potential was there all along, and I just didn't know it.

I think you need routines to start off with, to get your confidence up. But sooner or later you have to let go and rely on yourself.

ALthough as for "The Game" and "Mystery Method", I still think they have lots of useful advice, but about attraction in general. Not the routines as such.

Mystery explains a lot of stuff that needs to be understood, pea cocking, push pull, etc.

Ive tried so hard in the past to work it into routines, that now I do it when I dont think about it. If I think about it and plan it, Im fucked.