My profile needs to get pimped. I am trying to be funny without looking to be a guy who cannot be serious. Some lines in my profile are borrowed from some Bros here in this forum, so here I go:
My self-summary
I am certified trainer teaching unicorns to behave well in every social situation while playing guitar solos riding on my dragon.
...
Now that I have your attention, let me introduce myself.

I am the guy that will make you laugh. I am the guy that will make you feel good in every way you can imagine. I am the guy to have adventures with. I am the guy with whom you can have deep intellectual conversations with. [Commentary from me: I am not happy with this part]

I’m really good at
- Picking random string on my guitars hoping good sounds coming from them
- Kissing (don't believe it ? We can arrange a test setting to analyze this ability in a purely "analytical" way)

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once owned Eurodance CDs

You should message me if
If you can lick your elbow. Have you really just tried that ?

A little twist: Do NOT message me:
- if you wear sandals with socks
- you have more facial hair than me
- you like to drink warm beer

Commentary the rest is either empty or filled with non interesting stuff (like favorite bands and movies and stuff)

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Check out my introduction here: i-am-i-said-vt162104.html

I am still searching for a buttkicker in Prague: buttkicker-in-prague-wanted-vt164587.html

Never describe yourself as funny. Be funny instead, but when you say you're funny you have a lot to live up to. The unicorns thing just sounds nerdy to me.

Overall your profile is way too try-hard. You sound too eager to please.

Talk about what you're looking for, not what she wants in a man.

I reworked my profile a bit, now it is a bit more serious

My self-summary
Have you ever seen "The Notebook" ? [I am still searching for something better here, but "Drug addicted Pornstar living at his mothers basement" can be too offensive for some women]
...
Now that I have your attention, let me introduce myself.

Hi I am German guy living here in Prague since year. I can write the usual stuff here, like I do sports, play music, can be romantic, I like to read good book and having good and deep conversations, have a great sense of humor and stuff. Although these things are true in my case, you have heard read about these things in all the other profiles as well.

So what makes me special ? There a lot of things, but where is the mystery and fun in dating, if we know each others details before actually dating ?

I’m really good at
- Keeping my cool in every situation
- Picking string on my guitars
- Have you ever played the game, where you have to look each other in the eye and the first one to look away loses ? Yeah I am pretty good at that too

You should message me if
If you can lick your elbow. Have you really just tried that ?

But seriously, I am looking for a woman who is fun to be around with and isn't easily offended by inappropriate jokes. A woman with a positive attitude and can be a bit nerdy at times. A woman who is confident who she is and can be sexy at times.

A little twist at the end: Do NOT message me:
- if you wear sandals with socks
- you have more facial hair than me
- you like to drink warm beer

_________________
Check out my introduction here: i-am-i-said-vt162104.html

I am still searching for a buttkicker in Prague: buttkicker-in-prague-wanted-vt164587.html

As above, it's really try hard.

"Now that I have your attention" is, by definition saying "I'm an attention seeker". This is going to be a turn off. Whatever you write above it, and neither of your openers are particularly great so I'd remove them all together.

If you're going to say "Now that I have your attention" you need to put something honest that will make girls go wow. And it needs to be true. "I've sailed across all the world's oceans. Now that I have your attention". Of course, you probably haven't done anything to get that "wow" factor so remove those two lines entirely.


The "living in prague" bit is good. Elaborate a little! If you've moved country there must have been a reason why. Appeal to her emotions. "I visited Prague on holiday once and fell in love with it. Two years later, I made my decision and moved here. I'm so happy I did, it's such a beautiful city"

See the difference there? It shows a little about your character. It shows you're decisive, adventurous and excited about the world around you. Your reasons may be different but try to play to her emotions rather than just listing facts.

Never, ever say "I have a great sense of humour". It's a massive DLV because you're approval seeking. "I have a sense of humour, honest!"

The "mystery in dating" line is good, I like that but I think you need to make it more of an open question to get her thinking. I'm not sure quite how to word it but you really need to hint at what the mystery might be "But if I told you everything there'd be no mystery would there?"



Remove the "But seriously" in the last section, your joke wasn't funny enough to warrant it and it comes across a bit vague and dull.

The same with "at times" which you use twice. It's too vague, makes you look unsure and doesn't add anything at all of interest to the sentence.

However, your qualifiers will almost certainly do more harm than good.

She doesn't feel like she has a positive attitude? She wont message you.
She's often shy and doesn't feel confident or "fun to be around"? She won't message you.
She's not nerdy? She won't message you
She's feeling a bit down about her looks (All women do sometimes)? She won't message you.

If you're going to add qualifiers you need to either make them cold reading, e.g. "Someone who's independent and thinks for themself", "Someone who likes to experience new things but has a firm idea of what they already like".

Or false disqualifiers like you have in there already.

Thank you Hunter_foxe and ix for your valuable feedback. I have improved my profile again, but I think the rest of the journey I will have to walk alone, before my profile loses its personal touch.

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Check out my introduction here: i-am-i-said-vt162104.html

I am still searching for a buttkicker in Prague: buttkicker-in-prague-wanted-vt164587.html

(1) Don't fill in the you should message me if section. I would leave it blank.
(2) Don't use the word sexy in a profile or a message. It is statistically proven to suck.
(3) I don't like to brag too much in the I'm good at section; I think you either leave the eye staring thing and take out the others (work the guitar into your main self summary or some other part)
(4) Your summary is ok, but I generally avoid writing about myself, at least not in a direct way.

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