Worth it or not?

My girlfriend is into reading 50 shades of grey and all that stuff. She likes sex. I was wondering if asking her about her past will change the way I see her... I assume she has been with 5 guys already or more, but not sure if this will trigger ASD on her part if I ask her more questions such as if she has ever been in a threesome...I asked her what she thought about a threesome with another girl and she predictably said no and then she asked what I thought about threesome with another guy, and I said not really a fan of that idea.. I didn't ask if she has been in a threesome herself, though.


I am trying to get out of my comfort zone with these things.

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~ASmooth

Well if you to get out of your comfort zone with these things, then you need to ask all the questions that you want to ask.

In vino veritas.

In wine there is truth. Get her something to drink before sex and then just after sex, you can get her talking. Just don't be judgmental about anything and she'll open up as honestly as she can. Some girls are wary about their sexual secrets and in these cases you're ahead if you don't push it.

I have banged conservative girls before who didn't want to try oral sex like sucking my cock or me eating pussy. A half bottle of beer usually did the trick to get these kinds of girls more open with new things. With your girlfriend, I think it would be a lot easier.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Why is this important?

If she's a slut you should be able to tell, and you shouldn't be with her. Goes the same if she has STDs. Other than that I don't see it as important.

You would be surprised at how discreet some girls are with... one can almost fool you with a front if you aren't on top of your game.

_________________
~ASmooth

If she's deceiving she'd straight lie to your face at the question anyway,no?. If she's full of shit you'll be able to smell it in time, and whether you want to act on it is your choice.

IMO I think guys asks this question as more of a possessive/jealous thing. I know I have and have since successfully ridden myself of the ailment after my first serious relationship.

What it comes down to is, if you love the girl you'll accept her for her baggage.

I completely disagree. I say you screen her to see how much baggage she has, and then decide how much to invest after that. You don't have to outright ask the number to do that, and I wouldn't advise it, either. However, I don't condone long-term investment in a girl who's a slut, even if she insists she's gotten it out of her system. If you're looking for a quick fuck, none of this matters, and godspeed. But if you're thinking long-term, studies show every partner a girl has increases her risk of divorce by at least 10%+. The numbers are sobering.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Like I said, I want to get out of my comfort zone. It does to do a bit with a possessive/jealous thing, I will admit.


My main priority is to screen her since I am thinking long term here.

_________________
~ASmooth

I dig that. LMAO! Is that a real statistic? I bet it is. I would love to see where you got it though, not that I'm doubting.

Past is past, is better to leave it alone. What you don't know can't screw with your mind. I would go with screening her as well.

Shit, one part of me would like to know what I am dealing with and another part says it isn't worth getting my mind all worked up over. Then again, I don't see myself marrying her, but still considering her as a girlfriend. If I do find something, I will try to go for polygamy, , but it seems like it might be too late for that.

_________________
~ASmooth

In my opinion I think you'll find it's actually none of your business who she's been out with/how many blokes she's been with. None of your business whatsoever. And what's with all this screening shit and some of the guys on here thinking she may be a slut and even calling her a slut? If you've had sex with as many women as she's had with guys, that makes you a slut as well. Are you saying it's alright for you to fuck who you want but she must remain a virgin or something? Dude it's 2013. Not 1320. Get real.

If you ask her anything about her previous sexual relationships and you don't like what you hear, it will freak you out. How about getting to know her better and making up your mind that way instead of getting her drunk so she'll tell all? What kind of devious creep would do that? I'd stay well away from asking her anything about past boyfriends. Guys can't cope AT ALL hearing about it so it's best you don't go there. JMO.

Well, what if she brings the talk first, something along the lines "just curious how your last RS ended", "its strange you didn't ask me about my life/experience before we've met", etc. And she obviously wants to give you relevant non-detailed info about herself? What if she doesn't understand that you "don't want to hear it", because she doesn't think you should get upset over history? That was my case. She didn't say real details at first, but when she manipulated my curiosity I had to put pieces together as it all sounded strange. Sure, I didn't like what I found out.

Its not that I expect the girl to be virgin, but there's difference between having sexual history in context of romance or some casual sex at normal age because she couldn't find fitting relationship, and when you find out that girl you thought has good qualities, had kinky sexual encounter with no attachment whatsoever. Its now individual if you'll give a shit. Because not everyone is comfortable having to visualize that your "decent girlfriend" objectized sex, maybe had jizz all over the place, and was herself an object of someone's urge who didn't give a shit about her, and they hardly even remembered their names for one night. It sounds cheap and you'll be the one forced to believe how special you are to her and all that crap.

Well, what contains more of a value? that you are giving her relationship ride, or that you are one amongst the guys to whom she gave blowjob or virginity in one night just out of horniness?

Also, regarding my case, she had only one similar experience before me, one intercourse, but when we first fucked, there was no blood or pain. How does that fit with the story that women usually bleed even after second or third intercourse?

Nothing good comes out of this. This is the cost of sexual environment we live in, its all fun and shit when you're single acting on "I have to fuck every girl I meet, even sluts", but when life offers you a relationship down the road, then people are having second thoughts. This is the paradox of human nature, and its not simple as "just don't ask, live in ignorance, and its none of your concern whether your partner was criminal, misused hard drugs, had suspicious forms of sex before you two met". I don't know what to think of it really.

To the OP, if you could avoid the information, avoid it. Curiosity will mindfuck you for a while, but not as much if you really dig up something you know will bother the shit out of you.

1. Some devious girls will try to pass off themselves as virgins by having sexual intercourse with you during their monthly periods and then acting like they're in pain. It's lame but this has happened to me on a few occasions.

2. Some girls who are still virgins will not bleed at all especially when these girls are active in sports like gymnastics, mountain biking, horseback riding, etc.

3. Girls with an advanced stage of gonorrhea infection will bleed when you fuck them.

4. If you fuck a girl hard without the prerequisite foreplay, she might still be dry and the intense friction will create abrasions inside her vaginal walls causing her to bleed and be in pain.

Man, read up on some Kinsey reports, Masters and Johnsons, Kline-Graber, etc.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

This is all off-topic, but here ya go.

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/201 ... -risk.html

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"