Hi everyone. This is kind of a serious issue for me at the moment and I would love any advice. I've been with my girlfriend for a year a 3 months, and we've been having sex for 6 months. I'd like to think I've read enough books, gotten enough tips about what to do in bed. With past women, I've been at a standard that I've been happy with. I can make a girl orgasm if I try. And will try anything new and do exciting things... The problem I'm having with my girlfriend is that I don't try! I know how to make her orgasm but I don't even bother any more. I think I may be losing some attraction for her. It's quite sad for me because I want to be with her. I love being with her and everything outside the bedroom is fine. We do not have problems in bed... yet. I think problems may start coming up because I just cannot be bothered to make her happy in bed any more. When me and my girlfriend are in bed... in my mind, I'm the one who wants to cuddle! It's come to a stage where my girlfriend (who was brought up very strict about sex, who pretty much never initiates sex even when she wants it) has started initiating sex. It's starting to put pressure on me because I'll have sex with her JUST for her. But when it is like that, I naturally don't try as much. Sex is becoming so emotionless and it shows. I do things that feel good for her but my lack of care for sex must show. I just don't have that DESIRE any more with her.

I am not looking for any advice on what to do in bed, but rather how I could approach this. Might sound silly but is there a way to boost testosterone? I could have quite a low sex drive anyway (possibly). Or should I tell her I am losing a bit of attraction for her (this idea seems pretty bad). Last night, I told her that the reason she did not come was because I was being lazy. I have not blamed her one bit, but I have expressed frustration, which will naturally make her feel like she's the problem. This frustration is only going to make things worse, as if she knows I am frustrated, she will be worried, and being worried will obviously make it harder for her to come. She is kind of new to sex as she did not even kiss a guy before me and does not come as easily as other girls, I feel. I know what to do, but don't feel the motivation to do it any more!

Well you have to figure out why you're not turned by getting her off. It's a hard thing to to talk about, why not just do it and see if the passion comes back?

I went through the same thing once, when I just wasn't that into the girl anymore.