Whats wrong with me? Never had a girlfriend...



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 8:38 pm 
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The problem for me personally is just to understand this behavior. I mean if she likes me (what i know she does and she said it very often!) why doesnt SHE text ME? I mean as a logical thinking person i assume that you want to contact or spend time with a person you really like. Thats why i text her all the time. And if she doesnt text me i automaticly assume that she doesnt like or want me anymore. Or that im just someone you can spend time with when you dont have anything better to do...

That's the same as i thought. Man i can relate so much to your situation. God, if chicks were logical, i think the game would be some much easier. The thing is, they are emotional creatures. They don't act on logic, they act on emotions. So what does it mean if the chick doesn't text for a couple of days? It could mean nothing. Your logic tells you that she probably doesn't miss you but it could mean a bunch of other things. Overall i think she is confused why you haven't made a move so far. I mean i did the same things you are doing. I played it slow, safe, and waited for her to somehow make the move and to realise that we should be together. Well that didn't happen. She gave me the "i like you, but i'm not ready for a relationship right now. I would like us to hang and maybe in the future we can make something happen." right at the start so i waited like a loyal little puppy. For what? You know what happened? Some other guy who had the balls to actually escalate, fucked her. I found later that this girl wasn't worth shit, but still, i played it so wrong... The escalation is still the main sticking point in my point due to my shyness, because of the holes in my inner game. I mean sure, in some cases she might reject you if you escalate quickly, but that just probably means she's not into you. But it's always better than waiting for a couple of months just to get the let's just be friends speech, because the chick gets so confused, she's probably thinking you're gay.

About getting her jealous with another girl. I mean that's not a bad thing to game other girls, but it's not ok if you're doing it just so that she sees it and gets pissed. If she finds out by accident it's not so bad, but if you want so say it to her that you are texting with other girls, it will do you no good. You have to have the mindset, that it doesn't matter what she thinks. If she gets pissed, she gets pissed, don't react on it. What does It's your life, you are single, you can do whatever the hell you want. You don't need to apologize for texting with other girls. If she confronts you with talking to other girls, you just have to be congruent about it.

What's your next step? I think you should definitely make a move. What i would do? I would go all in. It's just taking for too long. I know it feels good just to be in the company of someone you like, but you deserve more. You can "play it safe" like you did till now and wait for something to happen on it own and risking, that someone else seduces her. Or you can try to make a move and show her you've got the balls to make a move. If she rejects you, you can tell her that this is not working for you and you can't stay just friends. I mean what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario, she says she doesn't feel that way or something along those lines. Then you can cut the contact and if she doesn't contact you, she doesn't have interest in you, if yes, you're right back in the game with the upper hand. One of the hardest thing in pickup and what the true alpha males/naturals are so much better at than most guys, that they don't take shit from women. To really get the girl you have to be willing to risk loosing her. Easier said than done? It sure is, but it projects that you're a non needy guy and that you always have other options and you're not satisfied easily + it will separate you from the 90% of needy guys, who will actually do tolerate shit from women.

But in the long run, if you wait and let things stay the way they are and get really attached to her, the harder it's going to be to forget about her, when she gets seduced by someone who has his shit together and lets you go. I know what i'm talking about. It's going to crush you.


Go get her buddy. Got my fingers crossed for you. ;)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:37 pm 
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Okay guys so the big day is coming up and i need some last advice or at least confidence from you!

I arranged a new date with my dreamgirl now (in 4 days) and im really exited. Why am i exited, i had so many dates with her before?

Well...this time is different. Its the FIRST date after she told me she only wants to be friends.
BUT we had some crazy text conversation the past few days, and its pretty obvious what she wants me to do!
She unambiguously told that she is ready for a "surprise" and that i should "make my dreams come true" (i told her i was dreaming about her and that im a person who likes to make dreams come true).

I cant describe everything we texted but it was obvious as fuck!

You might think this is a good thing...well it is, but to be honest it puts a lot of pressure on me. Because i know if i do not fucking kiss her this time i fucked it up really bad. I wanted to kiss her for month but i couldnt do it. And the fact that she doesnt initiate anything herself makes it even harder for me personally.
Please dont give advices like "just grab her and fuck the shit out of her" cause thats not going to happen! I´d be really happy with some kissing and touching!

What can i do or how should i approach this date? Please say something nice :D


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:24 pm 
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Just remember it's a mans job to escalate and not the woman's. If you don't then the attraction will totally vanish on her part and she will start looking for a new man to "make her feel like a woman" and he WILL fuck her senseless because you weren't man enough for the job.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:01 pm 
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not read the replies, but ask yourself:

- am i socially awkward?
- do people like me?
- am i attractive, physically/mentally?

pics can tell a 1000 words, PM me a pic and i will go through some obvious fundamentals for you.

you will be surprised at how many people neglect themselves and blame it on the "looks don't matter" bollox.

if you are over weight, get into decent shape
if you are under weight, get into decent shape
grooming (cool haircut, good teeth, good breathe, personal hygiene etc)
clothes/fashion (do you dress bland?)
do you have a life? (do you have friends/family that love you, are you social all the time or do you play WOW every night?)

the biggest one is.. your inner self, (are you needy, desperate, low self asteem, low expectations, low drive, low motivation)



PM me bro, i am quite brutally honest. I'm sure your friends would agree with my points if you asked them to be brutally honest.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:43 pm 
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Quote:
Okay guys so the big day is coming up and i need some last advice or at least confidence from you!

I arranged a new date with my dreamgirl now (in 4 days) and im really exited. Why am i exited, i had so many dates with her before?

Well...this time is different. Its the FIRST date after she told me she only wants to be friends.
BUT we had some crazy text conversation the past few days, and its pretty obvious what she wants me to do!
She unambiguously told that she is ready for a "surprise" and that i should "make my dreams come true" (i told her i was dreaming about her and that im a person who likes to make dreams come true).

I cant describe everything we texted but it was obvious as fuck!

You might think this is a good thing...well it is, but to be honest it puts a lot of pressure on me. Because i know if i do not fucking kiss her this time i fucked it up really bad. I wanted to kiss her for month but i couldnt do it. And the fact that she doesnt initiate anything herself makes it even harder for me personally.
Please dont give advices like "just grab her and fuck the shit out of her" cause thats not going to happen! I´d be really happy with some kissing and touching!

What can i do or how should i approach this date? Please say something nice :D
Quit calling her "dream girl". Start calling her "some chick." That's the first step. She's not perfect...and if you continue to tell yourself that she is, you're never gonna get anywhere. She'll drop you like a bad habit if she can't live up to your ridiculous claims of dreaminess.

Also...why are you still trying to text game? Girls are impulsive as fuck. All those things she texted you last night don't mean shit today. Her emotional state last night, or last week, or last month has nothing to do with her emotional state right now, or 4 days from now. For all you know, she could have been watching The Notebook and those feelings translated to texts you got. In other words, any swinging dick that happened to text her at that moment would have gotten the same emotional response that you got. You need to be gaming in person...that way she'll associate her emotional state with your closeness. You've got 4 days to build her anxiety and excitement. How do you do that? STOP TEXTING!! Between now and when you see her, you're only allowed to text, "What time should I pick you up?" Although you should already know that.

As far as your "date" goes, quit building it up like some epic moment you've been waiting your whole life for. That attitude is not attractive. You need to act like this is a normal occurrence and let her come to you. Guide her emotions with the tone of your voice and physical contact. Look deep into her eyes and make her feel vulnerable. The topic of conversation is completely irrelevant...you can escalate while talking about sloppy joes. Don't be scared to do it...just do it. And for you, do it quick before you psych yourself out and get friendzoned again.

Here's how I do it:
I'll grab her hands as quickly as possible to break the physical barrier. Let her get comfortable holding hands. Then I'll stare into her eyes and drop my voice. If she doesn't respond well, I'll back up a little and move a hand to her thigh and continue to talk about whatever dumb shit I was talking about. If she responds well (maintains eye contact/comes closer/turns her body in/etc), I'll move one hand to brush her hair back and caress her cheek...then pull her in for a kiss. It's as simple as that. Once we're kissing, I'll let go of her hands and start at her knee moving up her thigh. I'll always keep one hand close to her face and neck. My other hand will wander all over the place: knee, thigh, inner thigh, hip, belly, breast. As we're making out more, I'll kiss her neck and whisper in her ear while pulling her body in and start grinding. The key is to lead her. Don't wait for her to grab your junk. Just grab her hand and put it there...she'll know what to do.

In the heavy make-out session, you're in control. Keep transitioning to sex. If she says stop or moves your hand, that means you touched a part of her body that she didn't want you to touch...so back off a little and keep kissing. If she says, "We should stop," then you've got the green light to kick it into gear.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 5:25 pm 
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Thanks for the replies guys!!
Quote:
Also...why are you still trying to text game? Girls are impulsive as fuck. All those things she texted you last night don't mean shit today.
No,no im not trying to text game her! But what you want me to do when SHE texts me? Dont reply? I actually did exactly that 2 days ago and when i did not replied her within 1 hour she went crazy! She was like "Whats wrong with you? Your not answering me anymore?! " So i try to keep my answers short. She actually asks me every time we see each other "why didnt you text me?"...
Quote:
Here's how I do it:
I'll grab her hands as quickly as possible to break the physical barrier. Let her get comfortable holding hands. Then I'll stare into her eyes and drop my voice. If she doesn't respond well, I'll back up a little and move a hand to her thigh and continue to talk about whatever dumb shit I was talking about. If she responds well (maintains eye contact/comes closer/turns her body in/etc), I'll move one hand to brush her hair back and caress her cheek...then pull her in for a kiss. It's as simple as that. Once we're kissing, I'll let go of her hands and start at her knee moving up her thigh. I'll always keep one hand close to her face and neck. My other hand will wander all over the place: knee, thigh, inner thigh, hip, belly, breast. As we're making out more, I'll kiss her neck and whisper in her ear while pulling her body in and start grinding. The key is to lead her. Don't wait for her to grab your junk. Just grab her hand and put it there...she'll know what to do.
Nice! That sounds great!
You know, but like i said its the first time for me... I guess im just really nervous because i fear to do something wrong. To fail kissing. What if she thinks "what the hell, he cant kiss AT ALL" things like that go through my mind all the time. And im just concerned that i cant comply with her possible expectations...
I mean of course theoretical i know what to do. But every time im the situation im like "shit i have no idea how to do it now..."
Touching is a whole different story though. I mean i touch her all the time when we´re together. Knee, thigh, arms, back, face and even breast... but i just never escalated to a kiss because of the reasons above...


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 7:01 am 
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Relax and stop over-thinking everything. It's just a kiss. As long as you don't slobber all over her face, you'll be fine.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:39 pm 
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Another thing of what you have mentioned in your first post. Do not worry about that you are 21 and never ever had a girlfriend yet. A lot of guys from here took even longer than you and look where they are now. I even know guys who never had girlfriends before they were 25-30. Also do not worry so much about the past and start to live more in the now.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 7:45 pm 
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So here is how the date went:

I picked her up at her place. When she got in the car she told me that she does not have that much time. I was like "What does that mean?". "I have to be back home at 8" (So in 4 hours). I was very very pissed because she did not mention that before! But i kept cool and just said "no problem"

So basically my plan for the date was ruined and i had to find something else to do. Which is pretty much impossible on a dead sunday and rather bad weather outside. So we basically just drove around in my car. Stopped somewhere, talked. Thats it! No Kiss! It was obvious that she would allow a kiss but i cant do it in the car. It may sound like an excuse but its true! I drive a sporty car with body-contoured seats and its nearly impossible to put an arm around her or even to pull her in for a kiss or to turn your body to each other. I tried to get her out of the car all the time (to go for a walk, take her hand and kiss her!) but she just did not get out of the car because the weather wasnt very good.
Thats the bad part.

Now here is what i would call the "good part":
We talked a lot and some fun anyways. We got quite touchy. I touched her all the time! No problem. Knees, arms, back, breast, face. I gently caressed her cheek a few times and she liked it. She touched me a lot too so thats a good thing is guess...She said some obvious things all the time, when i was looking at a random girl on the street she got mad and beat me on the arm.

At the end i was really disappointed because nothing except the kino part worked the way i planed it. But to be fair and honest it was her fault for the most part imo... But i tried not to get angry or pissed and took her back home as promised. When we got back to her place i saw the reason why she had to be back at 8. Her best friend (girl) was already waiting for her. So unfortunately no kiss again! I gave her a hug and she jumped right into her friends car and left. I felt really stupid at that point honestly...

Im not sure what to do now...I think i should ask her out again one more time (not sunday!!) and finally get this fucking kiss and maybe more...And see what happens after that.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 1:39 am 
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What a disaster!

Let me understand this:
You were upset because she could only hang out for a little bit...fair enough...but she lives with her parents. So she has to go home at some point; or did you expect to sleep in the car? So then you had to find something else to do on a Sunday night. Um...what about sex or at least heavy make-out, blowjob, etc? Doesn't that seem like an acceptable option? So then...you couldn't kiss her because your car is small? WTF? Dude, I've had sex in a Nissan 300zx!! Also, lots of making out and a few blowjobs. Your car isn't more awkward than that little thing.

So after all those excuses, you tried to get her out of the car...what for?!?!

Let me explain what she was thinking at that moment. You've got her totally isolated inside your car. It's a very intimate environment. She's thinking, "He's gonna kiss me at any moment. I'm so excited. I can't believe it's finally going to happen after 6 months." But then you want to take her out of this intimate environment and into public...that would be the total opposite of kissing her. She doesn't want to go anywhere; she wants to stay in the car where she can sit right next to you.

Little does she know you didn't want to kiss her because it would be too uncomfortable for you to lean over the center console. Unbelievable!!

Not sure what to tell you, man. You waited so long to just fuck it up. That's why I told you to get it over with as soon as possible. You talked yourself out of it...again. You got scared of her lips...again. Pathetic.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:15 pm 
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Quote:
You were upset because she could only hang out for a little bit...fair enough...but she lives with her parents. So she has to go home at some point; or did you expect to sleep in the car?
NO! She had to be back because she had another appointment with her friend! If she accepts to go on a date with me i assume that she wants to spend the day with me! Thats not to much to ask for especially because she did not mention anything before and we always hung out the whole day (well not the whole day but its always been an open end). Thats why i was pissed but i did not show it!!
Quote:
Um...what about sex or at least heavy make-out, blowjob, etc? Doesn't that seem like an acceptable option?
Dude...No offense...But are you out of your mind?!
You got the fact that i did not even kiss her yet, and you got the point that she is not a slut or some. And most importantly that i LOVE her. I dont want to just fuck her!!
And apart from that i can promise you that SHE would never do something like that! She is not a freaking slut! For her its like "no relationship, no sex". Thats just how she is! So to answer your question: NO thats certainly not an option at all!
Dont get me wrong, im physically attracted to her but it just doesnt work like that!
Quote:
So then...you couldn't kiss her because your car is small? WTF?
I didnt say it like that! But its a fact that i cant even grab her properly or put my arm around her because of the shape of my seats. I cant get close to her because of the centre console. Pretty nice and emotional kiss first kiss then...I want her right infront of me, grab her and kiss her. I dont want to jump and move around in my car like a fucking monkey to kiss her. Thats how i see it. Im not saying there was no way i could possibly kiss her. Of cours i could have somehow...
Quote:
You got scared of her lips...again
I cant deny that... But if the moment and the whole situation would have been right...i was ready for it!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 10:03 pm 
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Why are you asking for help on this forum if you act like you have all the anwsers? Every advice you gotten so far in this thread was legit.
Quote:
Quote:
And apart from that i can promise you that SHE would never do something like that! She is not a freaking slut! For her its like "no relationship, no sex". Thats just how she is! So to answer your question: NO thats certainly not an option at all!
WTF man? The bullshit you see in romance movies does not exist. I don't care whatever the girls are telling you, but she can be the quietest, shyest being on the planet, she WILL have sex with the right guy. And i think you are not keeping in mind that WOMEN LOVE SEX. As much as men and probably even MORE.

Just a thought to think about: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

You need to shift your mindset asap. I don't know how much you've studied seduction, but you should definitely read some stuff.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:52 pm 
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Why are you asking for help on this forum if you act like you have all the anwsers? Every advice you gotten so far in this thread was legit.
Dude thats not true! Im so thankful for EVERY advice! And i try to to realize your advice as good as i can! But please bare with me just a little bit! All that stuff is new to me (read the title of this threat again!).
So in case some of you got me wrong: THANK YOU for your advice, your criticism and tips! I cant proof it to you but it already helped me a lot and im working on my mindset every day now! But its a process. I try to realize your advice but if it does not work the first time, i have to get back up and try it again. So maybe this date was a failure in your eyes, but im still confident enough not to give up and try it again! And do it right next time.
Quote:
I don't care whatever the girls are telling you, but she can be the quietest, shyest being on the planet, she WILL have sex with the right guy. And i think you are not keeping in mind that WOMEN LOVE SEX. As much as men and probably even MORE.
Im not going to argue about this. Maybe you´re right, maybe you´re wrong. Maybe it depends on where in the world you live i dont know... Im pretty sure that she is not like this and has a different point of few. Lets put this whole SEX thing to the side because thats not the actual point of this threat or the particular situation.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:59 pm 
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Let's be honest, every girl is a freak in some sort of way.. (good thing!)

But don't be closed off so much that there are certain girls that are different, get your nob and bollocks in them and watch how they love that shit...

So, come to think of it, even your mother and grandma could be absolute filth for all you know.. they most likely like getting their ass hole licked and god knows what other kinky stuff...

Wake up. :)

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 9:29 pm 
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Let's get this straight. Sex IS the backbone of a strong relationship. I'd say love consists of something like...

60-70% Quality of sex/physical compatibility
20-30% Trust and communication
10% Common interests and other hollywood soulmate bullshit

So you really need to stop saying that getting physical is not important. It needs to be your #1 priority if you expect anything out of this. LMAO you built up that date like it was the end of the world and something amazing was going to happen. She EXPECTED something amazing to happen. And then you sat in the car and talked. Come on man!! You remind me of Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks your gay.

I know you won't have the balls to do this...but here's what you should do. The next time you see her, don't say a fucking word. Just walk up and kiss her. I don't give a fuck if it's in the middle of Times Square with 50,000 people watching. Then say, "I forgot to give you that" and walk the away before you puke.

Oh and by the way...women LOVE sex!! And I'm not talking about that "romantic making love" kind of sex. I'm talking about that "dirty pornstar, bury her face in the pillow to muffle her screams" kind of sex.

Also...go watch the first half of 30 Year Old Virgin again and take notes. The second half is complete trash so you should stop right about the part where they decide to do the no sex thing.


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