she does not trust me be her bf



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:13 am 
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Hi guys. Basically I've been with a girl for about 2 months. Everything is great, but she does not trust me to be my gf because as she says she never liked somebody like me before and scared to be hurt. Before she was saying she needed few more weeks to settle it downbut that time is gone and she still does not trust me. That pisses me off and I feel like to end this nonsense. But I really like her too much as well so it is a hard choice to make since feelings are developing very fast on both sides now. What would you advice in this situation? She is 25 and me 26.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:46 am 
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What's the point of trying to force a label on something? If you want her to be your gf treat her like one and don't worry about the label. Don't put pressure, chase, or be needy, you'll just push her away and cause conflict for no reason.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:34 am 
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Trust is the backbone of a relationship, if there isn't any, it's just a matter of time before everything collapses.

Honestly mate, You need to stand your ground here and throw away this urge of playing everything safe, cause by being like that, you'll get screwed over big time on a long term. (if not sooner)

You talk to this girl, tell her how you feel, but that if she doesn't trust you, you dont want to participate in it. Tell her your actions will speak louder then your words and that she has the option to either trust you or not.

Simple decision making, but you need a strong heart.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:02 pm 
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two oppostite opinions :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:14 pm 
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It's normal that she's scared to get hurt. Tell her she can trust you, not just tell her show her (ie. keep your word, don't fuck around etc.)

But also explain that trust is the foundation of the relationship and if she thinks that she can't trust you than it's maybe not ideal for the two of you to be together. - btw. if you tell her this it will show that you are not scared to walk away and she will likely get more attracted and tell you something like she will try to trust you etc.

Is there any reason besides the ones you've mentioned why she shouldn't trust you ? (history of cheating etc ?)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:45 am 
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Quote:
It's normal that she's scared to get hurt. Tell her she can trust you, not just tell her show her (ie. keep your word, don't fuck around etc.)

Is there any reason besides the ones you've mentioned why she shouldn't trust you ? (history of cheating etc ?)
She tells me I am too handsome and scared other girls can steal me from her. Also she tells me she never liked somebody like me before and want to stay with me forever. Not to mention I am going out at nights from time to time wihout her. But there was also one stupid thing I told her before - she asked whether I think she is fat, I told her just a little bit (honestly her ass is a just a little bit fat <3 ). Than from time to time I started to tease her about her ass and she was upset coz of that, like telling me to find other skinny girls. That made her a bit obssesed as she started to eat less and go to gym...However I am not talking about her ass for a week now.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:57 pm 
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lol, just being honest eh. I applaud you. Just ease up on the fat jokes...once is enough. She is probably destroying herself for that little flaw everyday. Anyway, I suggest you just disregard her insecurities, just reassure her from time to time (not everytime, key point) why you like her. Girls are always like that. Be loving and let her deal with her problems. It isn't your fulltime job to make her happy.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:20 pm 
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Trust me, if she is insecure, you don't want a relationship with her. She'll kill your desire for her just like you being insecure will kill her desire for you.

Ok to be honest when she asks your real opinion. Not ok to joke about something she is sensitive about. Only way you can joke about a fat ass is if she is convinced you like a little bit fat.

I'm in the camp, don't try to force it. If she is scared to be your gf, then it likely will not work out well. You'll constantly be dealing with the insecurity issue. Let it slide, treat her like she's in the role she deserves. When she starts pushing to be your gf, then you can deal with whether or not she should be. You get nothing by pushing her into it.


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