Yesterday I went to my girlfriend and we had a talk, things weren't going that well lately and we both had a bunch of things that were stressful. She threw me the, i'm not that happy anymore, i miss the fun and playfulness, wanted to go out again etc.. while i had enough of her instability and unpredictable behaviour, the week before she gave me a lecture of how much she loves me, how glad she is etc... The whole conversation i kept it cool and told her it's a choice she has to make and that if she doesn't feel sure, she should just make an end to it and enjoy what she does most. I made the decision to break contact for a while and she said ''okay, if that's what you want''. Before i went, i decided to buy her a good luck card for her exams with a nice text. When i left the house, i left the note there.
I put a text on it where she had to mark a question, saying something like '' Do you love me more? " - ''[] No - Not possible & [] No, but i'm a panda.


Eventually that same night she texts me saying.

'' I know we agreed on not having contact anymore, but i got to say that your gift was really sweat. The answers on the card is not possible for me to answer, because the answer isn't there. despite anything that happends, you should know that i still love you most ''.

I didn't answer it, i couldn't. I'm pretty sure it's an attempt of her drawing out my feelings for her, or to see how i feel. But for me, the problems are there, and i dont want to get into this emotional conversation where she gets her hormons working for her and thinking she does love me, and once the rush is over, realises that we still have problems (Typically her).

Was it wrong for me not to answer? Or could i have gone like ''Appreciate it, thanks - good luck with your exams''.
For how long should i break the contact?

It's not neccesarily that i know we have to break up, I want to give it time for both of us to spot the problems and work on them, or leave it like it is and call it a break. I want her to experience the open world for herself again and see if that is what she wants, I wouldn't mind taking the relationship furthur, but not without her making an honest choice about what she really wants.

@n2

You are right about the things you said, I think i cared to much and felt the need to get some recognition of some sort. When we first had these type of arguments I'd tell her, alright, if that's how you feel, let's make it work and actually work for it.

The reason why i reacted like this and made a decision for her, is because she never expresses her issues with me. The fact that she missed something in the relationship was not the thing that made me feel bad. It's the fact that a week before, she told me that this relationship is all she ever wished for and now a week later, she tells me a whole different story. she also goes like ''I dont know if i can do this anymore''. So basically, she didn't want to work out the problems with me and practically give up without a conversation.

From ''perfect'' to ''I cant do this anymore'' is a really strange difference over such a small periode of time.

She gets influenced to much by her emotions, if she's with me, she's happy, if she's with her friends, there's something she misses. I honestly can understand this, but it's the way she handles is where the problems lay. She cant combine it, i have told her numerous times before that she is young and that she needs this, but she always told me she has no need to go out and have fun because she enjoys time with me much more.

I do have to admit, that i have been extremely boring, but it's because she hasn't given me the proper drive to actually work on it. When i had moments where i'd just be like, damn.. things are indeed getting bored and act up, she'd still not feel motivated. I'd ask her out, she didn't feel like it. I'd do something funny, she'd just smile. She build this by her own, with hiding it very well.

The reason why i broke contact, is so both of us can think this through, get some alone time. It woke me up a lot, i have gotten my drive back after meeting up with friends. I have decided to change myself to what i was. Not for her, but for me. I would want this relationship to work, but then she has to be more direct and honest with me, that's all i ever asked of her.

Finally feeling the first stage of the ''break-up''.

Should be able to keep my sanity, but it's harder then i anticipated on.