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the trick to avoid staying out of the loser category is to have more than one girl you are constantly thinking about. You always need to assume that online women or any woman you meet, have more than one guy they are thinking about in most cases. Men have to do the same typically to succeed.
I don't start thinking of one girl exclusively until I have fucked them raw. Until you fuck them and you know it's maybe getting serious, she's probably not going to be serious unless she's real young and timid. I didn't mean loser in terms of how you acted on the date or internet b/c I don't know. But I do think you had a lot more vested interest in her then she did with you and when they sense that it turns them off
here is what I would do;
get a camera or camera phone. Go out of your house and locate girls you think are similar to her. Take a pic with you and that girl. If you can't do this , you need to start thinking about fatter girls.
If you can do it, I will give you more advice