| Hey guys, Im not sure why I havent joined this until now, but here I am. I have learned more on internet forums on some subjects than from most any other sources. Ive read a few threads before deciding to register and it seems at least some of you share my sentiments.
I feel I should tell all of you that I am not a stranger to a lot of the concepts here or terminology. I have been trying (rather poorly unfortunately) to follow the concepts behind "game" and "social dynamics" for the majority of my life now. I really ramped up my research at age 23 and it has seemed to make my life progressively worse. I just turned 30 this April and Im still completely unsatisfied with my consistency in interacting with women. At this point, I am a psychological mess. Even as I type here Im reflecting on how I obsessed my way through today, and the day before, and the day before,............. This is nothing new. This has been going on since my teenage years. I have almost multiple personalities now since I have to tuck all this to the side with my daily grind and whatever else I have to deal with at this point in time. As a result, Ive made some very poor choices leading to legal issues (from partying too much trying to meet people) and a wonderful ulcer.
I told you that sob story to tell you why I chose to join and why I chose this thread title. I have been trying to expand my horizons and develop/discover my tastes/abilities for years now all to no avail. I would like to think I am definitely about quality over quantity but my "quality" is never what I really want. Just one aspect or 2 generally (Neither of these are beauty, most of the time). On the same token, my quantity isnt at the point where I can say I have had enough. There are plenty of experiences I want to have which I know are possible but seem out of reach. There have been times in my life when I have been somewhat successful and I have gone through multiple-year dry spells. I have had some downright unique experiences and times where I felt I was just "the shit". However, these have been fleeting, at best.
Thanks for reading, Im sure I dont have to tell most of you how humiliating this is to type. If any of you have any advice on where I should start, Id be glad to take it. As I said, however, I am currently a hot mess and sometimes trying to correct a behavior is like trying to play tug-of-war with a draft horse. I may need it to be drawn in crayon and my hand to be held. That all out of the way, Im off to read.
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CHAT
