I can say, I never really were a social person. Usually, when I go out and have been going out. I'll talk to a few people and then mainly just sit outside to relax, because I have social issues. So, it might come off as creepy, or if my mates are talking about something I can't relate to or not even understand what they are talking about. I just stand there looking dumb.

Until recently, I got drunk with friends and we were talking bout this stuff. If there was a point that I did have the confidence to run up to any chick and talk to. The closest memory of that was a little kid in 5th or 6th grade. I would go to any chick I found attractive and talk to her, even ask her out. I didn't know what I was doing and just did it. I can actually feel the confidence I did have back then and can feel it when I want. I haven't been out and exactly tried it, but will try it out tonight.

I know that I shouldn't be in my hand, not give any fucks about anything and just be confident. Now, I really don't think imho, I would have trouble on approaching, but it's merely the fact that most women are/are look taken, don't really feel their vibe/energy they are letting off, or even if I'm walking somewhere in the club, can't even figure out what to possibly say at the moment to get her to stop and talk, or simply not sure what the best approach to do. I guess you can say at a club, almost direct is preferred due to the energy level in that environment. I can't exactly look at a woman that I fancy and attracted to, to read their energy and know whether to be direct or indirect.

But, if I'm trying to get better at approaching and being confident, if this really helps me. How would I be able to look like I'm confident, but not pushing myself to approach to approach and end up coming off creepy. I guess, if someone is in the zone, confident, one couldn't be "creepy." I guessing the reason is that, if I approach women I'm attracted to, let's say 6 women in the club. If all those 6 women somehow saw me flirting, interacting, etc. Wouldn't that put them off of me entirely and make me look desperate?

The reason, I really asked, I've seen other people (both genders) complain to other people that are their friends or even strange guys and say he needs validation from women; he's desperate; and the list goes on. Is there really a way to take two steps forward and not one step back?

This might sounds mumbling and all over the place. Words do not usually come out right when it's typed out or coming out of my mouth, since it's usually sounds better in my head. Not really a rant per-se, but rather wanting answers to these questions.

Hey there!

Ur opener depends on the situation.

In the supermarket u can say: "hey, I need an opinion of a girl about [those T-Shirts]"

On the street u can say: "Omg, have u seen those two girls fighting around the corner?

An opener can be everything, but not a compliment or sth like: "U are so beautiful." Cause for sure, she heard that 100 times and u have to be different of those other guys she was talking to.


The rule "two steps forwards and one backwards" exists and is very important:

U are talking to a girl, make her a compliment (in the mid game) say sth funny and then u ask this: She has blond hair, but normaly they are dark, so u are going to say: "I like (love) girls with natural blond hair."
The rule is also important for a simple reason: If u never stop making compliment or being too kind, i feeds too easy for her. She must see u as a difficult case.

Hope it was helpful

Good luck,

Joe

The "I am having fun" mindset

For now just go stupid ... er... concentrate on self amusement ... basically you are not gaming the girl ... you are game yourself ^_^.

Let's elaborate ...
It is very important to be having fun when you are in the clubs! Girls go to the clubs to have fun! Therefore, let the club do it's job! Basically, pretend you are a sponge and absorb the vibe of the music. Do retarded dances! Clap, Jump, yell gibberish. Go approach girls and get blown out on purpose (SURPRISINGLY they HOOK!). My favorite is come up with the weirdest opener you can think of and use it (SURPRISINGLY they work!). Whatever it takes ... game your self firsts! The greatest thing is that when you are having fun ... you can do whatever because no one will stop you because no one wants to be a party pooper.

Once you get in a fun head space ... you can do whatever you want. You can open by saying Hi or not say anything at all ^_^! Remember game yourself first (aka ... learn to self amuse yourself). Pump yourself up ... when girls see you trying to pump your state ... they will gravitate to you!

Let's use an analogy here ...
- Let's say I'm fucking a girl ... I'm rubbing her tits ...playing with her clit ... and the girl is getting turned on. Now let's say you walk in and you start running game on her ... you say, "Hello Miss ... how are you doing? Let me run my PUA material on you now ... "
- Do you think the girl will appreciate this? But, let say you come in to our sexing and you start to rub her tits and play with her clit , also ... she will like that and be turned on very much ^_^ ...

Now, let's return back to the club scenario ^_^ .... If you pump your state up ... enjoy the music ... laughing with guys ... pranking girls ... girls will see you trying to pump your state ... and when you are in the same vibe, OR HIGHER, as the girls they will notice you and anything you'll say they will responde to! I've asked my female friends about guys orbiting around them... guys who are there to try to pick up girls and not really having fun ... and all of them say that they don't even notice them!

For example ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ

Therefore, game your self first ... self amuse ... have your first approaches all for the sake of your amusement! Use girls as stepping stones to your fun! This is the key to going from noobie to intermediate level ... having the mindset of "I am having fun!" ....

The reason why this works because you are shifting your mind set to lowering your criteria of what is a good approach. Instead of using the girl's or main stream media criteria of what makes a good approach (example: you have to say something to impress them ... you have to be good looking for the approach to work ... you must have this specific colone/watch/brand of clothes) ... you are using your criteria! And you can lower your criteria and you will remove all this pressure on your shoulders. Less pressure = a happier vibe. No one wants to be around a nervous guy ... they want to be around a positive happy fun awesome dude!

Remember this ...
- It is not the lines or your looks you use on your approach (Thank god!)... it is the vibe and impression you emit! Because that's now how girls respond to high value guys ^_^!

Summary:
1) Have fun first.
2) Go approach girls.

If you require more elaboration's on how to be awesome ... check out my other article here ...

newbie-mindset-extreme-self-love-how-to ... 56449.html