I didn't practice any game today, it was my mum's day off so I watched a film and spent some time with her.

A little later one, I went to the pub for an hour. Now, if you've been following this, you may know that I know literally no-one around this area, so I went by myself. Inside, I ordered my drink and stayed at the bar. The pub was dead, couple of guys on their own to my right and 2 guys who were together on my left. It was about 8pm to be fair. The guy to my left, I'd guess in his 50s, made a joke about bad service (The barrel needed changing halfway through so I had to wait) and I laughed, he went back to drinking his drink and I went back to drinking mine.

It was at that point, among silence, I thought fuck this, I'll practice speaking to people so turned back towards him and asked him if he's into football and what team he supports. This sparked a conversation during which I focused on improving my eye contact, body language and just general fluff talking in general.

What I did notice is that as this conversation went on, the barmaid, an 18 year old HB7 started noticing and looking over and, at times, invited herself into the conversation. When the man went out for a smoke, she came over and started talking to me. When I first went in, she just simply asked me what I wanted to drink and went over and spoke to a different customer who she already knew. What I noticed was that by being sociable and talking to people, even though I explained I didn't know them, it seemed to raise my value and spark her interest.

I was only in the pub for an hour, but by the end of it, I had been having a conversation with this man, and another man, in his 20s/30s. I had also had a 5/10 min conversation with the barmaid, who was asking questions about me and genuinely seemed interested. I did want to get into more of a conversation with her but she went out for a cigarette and then her shift finished shortly after. Had I had another 10 minutes with her, I think I'd have managed to get her number.

Overall, it was a good experience and really helped my conversational skills. I think I'll go in for a pint over the next few days just to practice talking to people, it seems more natural and I feel more comfortable sparking conversation in a pub. It's not just about picking up girls anymore, I'm genuinely enjoying feeling more sociable.

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JayBo's Journal

Woke up today feeling pretty terrible, I think I've caught some cold off my sister. Gonna take bank holiday weekend off and, depending on how I feel, go back out Tuesday.

Looking for some advice - There's a girl I'm friends with and we have a lot of mutual friends and may be working together over summer - definitely for the same company, maybe in the same store.

She's American broke up with her boyfriend a month or two ago so I know she isn't looking for anything serious. Would it be stupid to try anything, bearing in mind all of our mutual friends and the fact I kinda plan on practicing game her friends when I'm out there? She's been showing some IOIs over Facebook and I think something could happen if I went with it. Second question - Any tips for Facebook game?

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JayBo's Journal

This journal is awesome. I just read the whole thing and it's awesome to see how much you've improved. It's really motivational for me. I hope that I can show similar improvement in my game.

Some advice from someone who doesn't know anything about game (namely, me), but still thinks that it's good advice:

-I don't think the make up opener is a good one at all. I think it's too salesman like, like you said.
-You should check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzrc8fZISDo. Also, the channel is really awesome and should watch other videos by them, if you haven't already.
-I deleted my facebook over a year ago, so I can't really advise you on fb game. However, I know that it's pretty similar to texting game, so my advice would be this: Use it as little as possible. Use it as a means to schedule a meeting in person, and barely anything more.

I'll keep up with you and I really appreciate your support for me! Good luck man!

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My Journal (from AFC to MPUA, still a work in progress)

Right. A small update, no approaches so feel free to not read ahead, this is more of a personal post for me to collect my thoughts.

Over the last few days, I've been ill. During this time I didn't feel like going out so I stayed in and watched a few DVDs from Stylelife's Annihilation Method. Although mainly focusing on night-game, I still found them pretty helpful. I found a new opener I'm going to try out, the cashmere sweater opener. Gonna field test it tomorrow.

Another thought. Since starting this journal I've done 20 approaches. I'm disappointed in this. Save one week, I've haven't been taking this as seriously as I'd have liked. And I made real progress in that week.

I leave for America for three months, a week on Thursday. My mum is off on Saturday, Sunday and Thursday, the day I leave, so I'll be using these to spend time with her rather than work on game. That leaves me 6 days to go out and approach women.

By the time I leave for America, I want to have approached at least 50 women and used 3 unused openers on sample sizes of 10 women.

Let's go!

Targets for 6th June

Approach 50 women [20]
Use Cashmere Sweater opener on 10 women [0]
Use Opener #2 on 10 women [0]
Use Opener #3 on 10 women [0]

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JayBo's Journal

Completely shat it today.

It felt like my AA was back again completely and only managed to do one approach, used a variation of the cashmere sweater opener, asked a girl if she could hold up a sweater in front of her to see what it looked like as she looked a little like my sister who's birthday was coming up. She was in a 3 set and got embarrassed so did it for like 2 seconds then laughed and walked away.

Momentum is everything. Need to devise a warm up plan for tomorrow. Hopefully things go better than today.

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JayBo's Journal

Feel like I've lost all motivation for this. I think that last time I went out really put a downer on things, only making one approach after making some serious progress in the previous week.

However, I'm still determined. Like I said before, baby steps. Even if I have to start from square one, I'm doing more than sitting on my arse at home thinking about how cool it would be to be who I want to be.

I'll be getting a haircut tomorrow and going out. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, we'll see.

I found this video both helpful and motivational. Well worth a watch for anybody struggling with motivation within any aspect of their life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX9unvqpMt8

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JayBo's Journal

Begin first with a 'dream list'. You began with goals. . . things you think you'd like to do. . .

Instead, write down EVERYTHING you'd like to accomplish. . . and be VERY SPECIFIC. "Go out twice a week" isn't a 'dream', it's a task. Why are you doing this task? What is it that you want to accomplish? What do you want to REALLY do? Keep asking yourself 'why', 'why', 'why', and you'll get to you dreams. . . Write them down. Currently, your plan/strategy lacks direction because you do not know you desired end result.

Thanks Kasabi, I really appreciate you taking the time to read through and offer your advice, your posts in other people's journals have helped me a lot to get started. I'm about to go out now but I'll be sure to think about my goals and post them up in my review of how today goes.

I've lost all momentum so I'm gonna take a step back today. I was reading through Stylelife's 30 Day Challenge looking for some inspiration. I don't want to follow the challenge verbatim, but take tasks that I like the look of and feel are challenging me and complete these. Today I'm going to do Day 6's give 4 sincere compliments. As this is my sole task today, I'm gonna allow myself to use asking for directions to initially open as this is something I feel comfortable with and will allow me to get back into the swing of things. Baby steps.

Targets

Give 4 sincere compliments [ ]

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JayBo's Journal

Okay, I'll start with my dream list. What do I want from life? Well, let's look at the goals I outlined in my initial post. The first two can relate to having a healthy lifestyle, as does going to the gym. Why do I want a healthy lifestyle? Partly to prove to myself I can, i.e, show myself I have willpower/develop the willpower to keep it up and partly to boost my own self esteem/self worth. I want to truly feel happy about myself. Yes, I can say I'm happy as much as I want, and I am, but I want to get to a point in life where improving myself further wouldn't increase my own happiness.

Why do I want to gain a good degree, pay of debts and get a job? To reduce stress in my life. I don't want money to be a burden on me. I don't value money and while I don't feel that's a problem in itself, it's causing problems in my life as I'm spending more than I've got. I don't want a career for a few years and want to spend a few years travelling before I settle down into a job, so when I say I want a job, I just mean a part-time thing to pay the bills. Basically, all these things stem back to stress. I don't live a stressful life and I'd consider money to be my only source of stress right now.

Why do I want a new wardrobe and to go out twice a week? I want to be social. I'm sick of living a mundane, sedentary lifestyle. I enjoy meeting new people, I enjoy catching up with old friends and I enjoy going out. I want to be that person who everyone asks what the plans are for tonight and the person who is at the top of the invite list for every party because I'm a fun guy. Maybe this is because I'm kinda narcissistic. Maybe it's because I like the attention. Maybe because I want to get laid more. Who doesn't want to get laid more?!


Dream List

- Achieve inner happiness/ inner peace
- Be completely stress free
- Live the 'player' lifestyle

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Now, for the review of today. Well, I failed the goal I set out to do. There were plenty of opportunities, I just didn't take them. I'm even further behind than I originally thought, but going out and figuring this out is better than sitting on my arse thinking otherwise.

Basically, I opened 3 sets, one a two set, and asked them for directions. Pretty shitty considering the progress I had made but, once again, baby steps. It's 3 more sets than I'd have opened had I stayed in all day. Look for the positives. Out of the 3, I managed to give one of them a compliment.

Day in Review

Give 4 sincere compliments [1]

Notes
- Approach anxiety is back due to not going out for a while
- I approached 3 sets in total, much less than I'd have liked
- You can't just jump back where you started after not doing anything for 2 weeks
- Motivation is coming back. I want to succeed

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JayBo's Journal

I went out for a while earlier with no target in mind. Bad idea. I wandered around, not knowing what to do. In future, I need to set targets. This is more important than I thought. I only managed two approaches, one asking for directions, the other my first 'situational' opener. I say this because I kinda opened and didn't know where to go so ended up using a canned routine, Mystery's think of a number between 1 to 4. I was walking through the park and thought fuck it, I'm talking to the next person I see. Man, woman, old, young, hot, ugly, I didn't care. Turned out to be a HB4, 30 odd years old.

Me: Hi, nice day isn't it?
Her: Yeah
Me: I'm not gonna keep you long, you can get back to your book in a second. What do you think of ESP
Her: ...
Me: You know. Like, a sixth sense. Do you believe in stuff like that?
Her: No, especially when I'm reading (Bitch, haha)
Me: Well, I'm reading a book about it at the moment, I'm gonna try something on you quickly. In a minute I'm gonna ask you to think of something and when I do I want you to use the first thing that pops into your head, don't change it and don't say it out loud. Okay? I want you to think of a number between one and four. You got it? 3?
Her: Yeah
Me: Pretty cool, eh? Well, kinda, but I had a one in four chance of getting that anyway. Let's try something else. This time I want you to think of a number between one and ten. You got it? Cool. I'm JayBo by the way *shakes hand* (She shook my hand but didn't introduce herself.) 7?
Her: Six
Me: Close. Well, good speaking to you, bye

She really wanted me gone long before I left. I thought fuck it though, this is the longest I've been in set, let's try and milk it. Felt good. I'd prefer to have not used a routine like this and just let conversation flow naturally but she didn't want me there and I suppose it was good practice.

I'm gonna go back out now with the intention of complimenting four girls in an hour, using any opener I like. I'll report back later.

Targets

Compliment four girls [ ]
Complete task in 60 minutes [ ]

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JayBo's Journal

^This is good. Now let's begin to clarify. What does it mean to you to achieve inner peace? What does it look like? How does one with inner peace behave? Try to be specific. And what does it mean to be stress free? What does stress mean to you? Ho do people who have less stress behave? What are the requirements? What do they avoid? Be specific.

The last item on your seems to be the 'pu specific' dream. . . so write down exactly what a 'player lifestyle' means for you. A bachelor pad? Weekend parties? Foreign travel? x dates a month? Write down exactly what you are looking to accomplish. What you written so far is vague; it doesn't allow for any specific goal setting and won't allow you to manage your progress.

We'll get to the fun stuff later but here are my thoughts on your current pick up strategy:
If you haven't ridden a bike for over a year, would you get nervous about riding a bike today? You might get a tad nervous but you'd just hop on and ride off . . . why doesn't this happen with your approaches?

Just because you've tried approaching a few times in the past won't make your anxiety go away. This is where the "Approach a thousand times" strategy is flawed. Simply put, our little brains function on reward/punishment cycles. If you receive positive reinforcement for your actions, your brain fires off happy chemicals and this imprint urges your brain to repeat the process. On the other hand, if your brain receives negative reinforcement for your actions, the 'fight or flight' chemicals are released, making you nervous and uncomfortable; this imprint then disuades you from repeating actions that can lead to receiving negative reinforcement.

The guys who arbitrarily and randomly approach as many women as possible look to achieve desensitization. The idea is that THEY WILL GET USED TO BEING UNCOMFORTABLE AND NERVOUS and my thoughts are: Why should pick up be an uncomfortable process in the first place? Why seek to reduce discomfort when you can swing it to the 'positive reinforcement' side of the scale?

Do you know what will remove your anxiety? Figure out a fucking strategy. Practice your interactions, and actually pick up a few women using that better strategy. Get their numbers. . . go out on some dates. Probably more than one . . . definitely less than 5. . . do this and you'll find yourself just approaching desirable women without a second thought. Teach your brain Approach chick - chat with chick - befriend/attract chick - receive reward. . . and you'll be all set. Continue to reinforce: Approach chick - chat with chick - things go cold - negative reinforcement - get nervous . . . and you'll be stuck with this cycle for a good long while.

Okay, I'm gonna break down these dreams that I've set.

Inner Peace

- Real self confidence in everything I do. I can put on a bravado and act confident, but that doesn't mean I am. I want to be able to take action because I know it's right and follow it through, be able to stand up for what I believe in without giving a fuck what others think of that. And, most importantly, feel comfortable with it. MLK, he had confidence.
- Not caring what others think about me. Currently, I do. I say I don't but deep down I do. I act, dress and behave in accordance to what I think is expected of me. I act differently around different groups of friends. Although I'm still 'being myself' with all these groups, I'm hiding certain traits from certain groups. I want to be able to express myself fully without the fear of being rejected. If they don't like, they can go fuck themselves. I want that mentality and I want to believe it.
- Finally, I want to be happy with who I am. Completely happy. To the point where there is nothing I'd change. At the moment, I'd consider myself a happy person. But I know there's room for improvement. I could be in better shape, I could be more ambitious, I could be more focused and motivated in a lot of areas. I know it sounds cliche but I need to 'find' myself.

Stress Free

- I'm a very laidback person and not a lot stresses me out. However, I don't deal with stress well. While I know some stress is unavoidable, for example, a girlfriend breaking up for you, a lot of stress is preventable, i.e my current financial situation. I want to stop making stupid decisions that I know will cause me to be stressed in the future. I think what I mean by this is work on my will power and become stronger, so not to get into a stressful situation in the first place
- Secondly, I want to learn to deal with stress better. Maybe learn some meditation techniques? I don't know, stress is not a topic I've looked into too deeply so I don't know any techniques for dealing with stress. This is something to research and learn.

Player Lifestyle

- I think I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not looking to start a career for a few years so while a successful career and everything that goes with it, money, a nice apartment (yeah, a bachelor pad), perhaps a car, is the dream eventually, it's long, long term.
- I want to live in Canada, Australia and maybe New Zealand. I've spent 3 months in America, and I'm going back for another 3 months in a few days, and 4 months in Paris. I love meeting new people, seeing new places and experiencing new things. I think one thing I'd like to do is become even more social and take every opportunity that comes my way. I was pretty depressed while in Paris, my girlfriend had dumped me and I had taken it fucking hard. She was my first and I attached myself to her far too much. Because of this, and the person I went with who is very antisocial, my experience was not as good as it could have been. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed it, but these two things, along with my money situation, meant a lot of opportunities went begging.
- I want to be the center of attention. I want to be the person who either organises parties or is the top of the invite list for other people's parties. A complete social, party animal. The thing is, I love socialising. I do. I feel I hold myself back presently, due to confidence issues. The dream is to be the life of the party,
- I want women in my life. Not so much a certain amount of dates a week, I don't really want to quantify it. I just want to be able to take what I want. If I see a girl I like, I want to be able to go up to her and talk to her, take her out, fuck her. I'm not really looking for a relationship, just a good time with plenty of women. I want to have enough numbers in my phone to be able to organise something willy-nilly when I'm bored.

This is exactly what I've been doing. Going out with no real goal, just some short term targets that I think will help rid me of AA. Could you please elaborate on developing a strategy? Maybe give an example of what you mean? How do I teach my brain to do these things, any particular exercises you recommend?

I know I've said it before but I can't thank you enough Kasabi. Means a lot that you're taking the time to read though my journal and helping a complete stranger. You're a great dude.

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JayBo's Journal

Lesson learnt: Don't go out after 4pm.

Town was dead. Such a nice day yet hardly anyone to be found. In the 25 minutes I was out, I managed to approach 5 girls, asking 3 for directions, two for the time to warm up. Out of the five, I pussied out and only complimented one, the last one. Ah, well, that brings today's total to 7, not bad all in all.

Day in Review
Compliment four girls [1]
Complete task in 60 minutes [25. Task uncompleted]

Notes

- Although town was dead, I could have completed my target, that's no excuse
- I find it hard to find something to compliment girls on. It fucks up my approach because I'm looking for girls with something that stand out, a scarf, a tattoo, otherwise I won't approach

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JayBo's Journal

JayBo, you're still doing good! At least you had the balls to approach some lady while she was reading (I would have made the excuse: she doesn't want to be bothered, I'll pick someone else). Then, even though you could tell she was annoyed by the encounter, you figured, "fuck it!", and kept going anyway! That's brave dude!

I would really take to heart what Kasabi said about setting a plan/strategy. Watch pick-up videos on yt (James Marshall, Liam McRae, Sasha Daygame, Justin Wayne are all my favorites). See how they do it. It's so simple! Try to adopt their strategy of telling a girl what you think from the beginning, then just talking normally after that (if it's your kind of strategy). Also, set goals. How many girls are you going to approach today and what are you going to do? i.e. say hello, give a compliment, stay and chat (really brave).

Remember, even if you go out with a goal to talk to 10 girls and talk to 1, or 0, you're still getting out there with a goal in mind trying to get better, so that's something to be proud of! Keep it up man!

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My Journal (from AFC to MPUA, still a work in progress)

I leave for America tomorrow evening and will be busy during the day packing and spending time with my mum. I won't see her for a few months so I'd prefer to do something with her than go out and game.

For that reason, I'm determined to accomplish what I set out to do. I'm going out with the mindset; 'I won't be here for months so even if I make a complete arse of myself, who cares?'. This is a mindset I want to adopt every time I go out. My target will, again, be give out 4 compliments. I'm not going to set a time limit but I don't want to open with a canned opener before giving the compliment. This is going to be tough, but also interesting, as I've only opened one set without a per-planned opener and that was yesterday. I gained a lot from reading this, very inspiring; http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comme ... ge_day_60/

I'll be back later to report how well I've done. If I don't complete this. I will post a photo of my balls with 'JayBo is a pussy' written on them into this thread. I promise you that.

Targets

Compliment 4 girls [ ]

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JayBo's Journal