Tough to rebound I think. Some advice for the future. Part of the issue here is that you played too much into her shit tests and tried a little bit too much by the book things. I also would not do day dates (I'm assuming the walk in the park was during the day?). It is statistically shown that women are horniest I think around 10pm, so why would you do a date during the day? Cutting off the make out is good, but if she says she is turned on, you need to try to figure out how to escalate the situation. The right move here is: "Let's go somewhere else" That somewhere else being close to your home...
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Hi, I did a few searches but didn't find an analogous post for my situation.
I met an 8 on OKC. We have most of our interests (including some rare ones) in common. We flirted by text and she said "on a scale of 1 to 10, my curiosity is an 11" and gave other IOIs. I constrained the date to "an hour or so," and followed Janka's advice and made it a park walk. I kinoed a lot. She expressed surprise that I didn't seem nervous like most people (she is a psych. major). After 45 minutes I did the hand trust test and made out with her for 5-10 minutes (on a side street sidewalk, which was not my original plan). She bit me and said she was turned on. I cut off the makeout to avoid ASD (I'm guessing I should have ended the date there, but was emotional and instead walked with her for another half hour).
We held close for this period. She asked if I have ADD, saying that I was "intense" because I was focused on her and had strong eye contact, and explained that people with ADD often exhibit this kind of focus when they are on Ritalin. I replied, truthfully, that I've never been on meds in my life (adding, "unless they were recreational," which got a laugh). She asked if I had problems with authority as a kid. She also talked about liking people who like wolves because they are associated with protection, so when she later asked me to relate a story from my life, I offhandedly mentioned that I had once fought off a mugger in a subway in Mexico City (this is true, though I'm not anything like a practiced fighter). Shortly after, she asked, "why are you so aggressive?" I said "I'm not, but if someone comes at me I'll fight back." I had pointed out my previous apartment, and that some crazy things happened there. She asked for the craziest story. This was when my GF invited two other girls over and we had sex, but Janka advises against talking overtly about sex because it releases sexual tension, so I said I didn't want to tell her. She pressed, so I made it into a joke and said the girls and I robbed a bank and burned the money. Weirdly, she insisted I was telling the truth and had actually done this. I whispered in her ear, "I'm just fucking with you" but she again said "no, I think you really did that" and "I can't tell the difference between how your face looks when you're lying and when you're telling the truth--you have a smirk either way." (she still held me close during all this, and continued to until I took her back to the meeting point). When we got there, I kissed her briefly, nibbled on her ear, and whispered "I'll see you soon." She replied, "maybe." I gave her hand a squeeze and took off.
The next night, I sent a playful text. She had previously answered these within an hour, but after three days there was nothing, so I sent a second text, still light and playful, inviting her to a community garden operated by a guy I know and suspected she knows (he's decades older than us, though). There was no response until the next day (today). She said she likes that garden but will be on vacation for the next week and a half. I teasingly asked for an email and jokingly mentioned I might convince her I'm not a bank robber. After 15 minutes without a response, I asked if she was into a kind of gardening I like and know she likes from an online profile (of course, I didn't mention I had seen the profile). This is the sort of thing that got many IOIs before the date, but after two hours there's no reply.
My guess is that she thinks I'm a sociopath (definitely not true). I took some psych. courses, including abnormal psych., and key traits of sociopaths include lack of arousal (hence her question about why I wan't nervous like most dates), ability to lie without broadcasting tells (which she said she thinks I do), and aggression (which she said she thinks I have). I met her wearing all black and olive drab, with skulls and a black bandana, and mentioning gardening was an attempt to show what might be a less intimidating side.
I'm willing to invest a little effort into this girl because, given the political climate in my city, it is rare to meet someone who ticks almost all my boxes, including unusual interests and values for the area. Is she recoverable? If so, what should I do?
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