Hey guys.
Im new to this (great) forum and fuck i dont even know where to start.
Basically... i finaly want a girlfriend! You know...Im 21 years old and i never had a girlfriend. So obviously that means virgin too. To be honest i never thought about it to much. But at a certain point in life you start to think "whats wrong with me, why isnt there anyone out there who can love me?"

ALL my friends have partners. And im certainly not a cocky guy, but even some ugly ass dudes have a girlfriend!! Im not saying HOT girlfirends but they are happy and love each other. And thats what i want.
The crazy thing is im not a shy guy, i look quite good, and i actually never had problems talking to hot girls. But obviously i always get stuck in the friend zone. Back in school all the really hot girls where my friends!
But lets call it what it is: I was just a friend, to talk to when they had problems. And the cool, soccer playing dudes got to fuck them! You get what im saying? I dont want to be that friend anymore! Its about time to fuck this shit and say "its my time to shine"

The thing is i just dont know where my fucking problem is. I just dont see it! It really seems like there is no girl out there who can do more than just "like me as a friend". Even though i notice girls on the street or at school looking at me from time to time. Like i said without being cocky, i do know that im actually an attractive guy.
One thing i do know and that i can mention is that (up to now) i never was a "bad boy" or anything. Just a nice guy who is always friendly and polite.
Just give me some sort of advice guys, i really dont know where to start. Am i such a bad person? Does god hate me? ....

Your best bet by far is to ask your closest female friends, just swallow your pride and lay it on the table. Girls love giving advice on that shit and believe me they will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. Don't try and "defend" yourself or anything like that, just listen to what they say then act upon it.

The secret of avoiding out the friendzone is not really a secret at all: be more sexual with the girls you find attractive from the start. (It has nothing to do with being a bad boy or a nice guy. Although the typical 'nice guy' definitely has some unattractive qualities, the 'bad boy' is simply not a very good person and definitely not someone you should aspire to be.) Being sexual without being awkward is a skill, and teaching it through words is nearly impossible. There are definite do's and don'ts which you can pick up (haha) on this site, but if you are well groomed, have enough social skills to talk to girls, and have good self-esteem, then most of the ground work has been covered. The rest has to be discovered by observing others and trying it out. So next time you meet a beautiful woman, keep in mind that she wants sex as much as you do, and have the balls to try something.
Definitely a good place to start.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Here is your problem... Just a guess...


You will start talking to a girl, you will think "FINALLY! SOMEONE LIKES ME!! I CAN'T LET HER GO!!" and you will turn into a needy little bitch and do anything you have in your power to make her happy. That's why you keep getting friend zoned dude... Women want what they can't have.

How many girls have you asked out?

That's your problem. You're looking for someone to love you. And that tells me a lot about you, without reading anything else you wrote.

You are focusing on trying to convince girls to love you and to want you as their boyfriend, by showing them what a great guy you are, that you're not a jerk, and you're not a threat and they can feel safe around you. Logically, that is a good plan. But, attraction is not logical, and neither are women. What you are really doing, is killing any attraction a girl might have for you. Women don't want safety, they want excitement, because women are emotional and excitement causes them to feel emotions.

You do want them to feel safe and comfortable with you eventually, but not initially. Attraction has to come before comfort. If comfort comes first, attraction will never come, and you land in the friendzone.

Stop being "nice." Stop being afraid of doing or saying anything that you think might offend or upset a girl. Stop walking on eggshells. Stop being accommodating and willing to do anything a girl asks of you. Stop being available every time a girl calls. Stop putting girls on a pedestal.

Be a bit of a jerk. Don't be mean, but be a ball-buster. Be unavailable. Be sexual, but not vulgar. Be dominant, but not domineering. Be in control, but not controlling.

Take chances. And remember that girls are not angels. In fact, most of them are total whores and you would be shocked to learn about the things they do that are kept secret from you.

To me, a longterm relationship should be the byproduct of a healthy sexy life, not the cause of one. I'm about the same age as you, and I know people that have been in LTRs for 5+ years. They get no joy out of it, because it was always just handed to them. "He knew my sister," like stuff, and there's no passion in it. It's just... lukewarm security.

If you're getting friend zoned, getting a girlfriend isn't going to fix that. The problem would still be there even if you put the bandaid over it, you gotta learn how to connect with women, express yourself as a sexually viable man. You don't gotta be a cocky rich bad boy, but you gotta start framing yourself as the kind of man women would fawn over, get turned on by, and want to have in their life.

Good luck, man.

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DUDE!! Its like you know me for years! This is exactly what i do! Thats the exact situation im in at the moment. There is this girl (honestly my dreamgirl) and i love her to death. I told her, i did everything for her, i´d do anything to make her happy and to spend time with her. And its pretty obvious that she likes that attention. But when i asked for more she was like "I thought we´re just friends for now" (and like i said she knew exactly what i wanted all the time)...

Great responses here!! Thank you guys!!

Start by growing a pair and realizing there is nothing special about any of these girls. You meet a girl. You think she's special (but really she's just hot). You build up this idea of an amazing relationship with lots of sex and put her face in your fantasy. Then she starts dating some dude and your heart is broken. So you mope around for awhile until you meet another girl...then you create the fantasy again, only this time it's a new face.

Do you see what you're doing? You're falling in love with a fantasy, and every girl you meet becomes a part of that fantasy. Then the fantasy breaks your heart. Do you see how pathetic that is?

First, you need to realize that you are using the same fantasy every time. Then you need to realize that these girls are literally interchangeable...because that's exactly what your doing; you're just replacing the girl in the fantasy. And if you're replacing girls so easily, then you must know that none of them have anything special. You should also understand that this behavior is extremely disrespectful to the girl...you want to put your idea of the perfect woman into her body.

To be fair, some of these girls might be "special" but you have no idea because you've never slept with any of them.

So stop putting the pussy on a pedestal...they're just people!! Just like you. Start treating them like people.

When one of your friends (or an ugly girl) says something stupid, you probably call them out on it. But when a hot chick says something stupid, you try to rationalize what she just said. QUIT DOING THAT!!! Stop caring what she's gonna think if you say ____________.

If you don't know what to say, you can always go with the truth. Honesty will win her respect. I promise you that. She might not like what you say, but she'll see you as a stronger dude. She'll start to see you as someone who genuinely cares about her because you're telling her how it is, not just agreeing with her all the time. If she wanted someone to agree with her, she could simply talk to herself.

Go date a non-hot chick...fuck her hard, fuck her often, then fuck her more. This will do a few things for you.
-First, it will grow your confidence a bit.
-Second, you'll start learning how to listen to what she's saying and how she's saying it, rather than staring at her tits and hanging on to her every word.
-Third, you'll understand that all important post-ejaculation feeling. This is the realization that you don't need this girl. Trust me, it doesn't matter how hot she is, there is nothing special about her during those few moments right after sex (because for the first time since you were 12, you aren't thinking with your dick).


Good luck to you...

First of all thanks for your advice!
But to be honest i do not agree with everything because its simply not the case.
The girl that i was talking about is my dreamgirl! There is a huge difference between liking a person or loving a person. I never had feelings like this before and i dont think i will have THE SAME feelings for another girl again. And even though i never made it to a real relationship i do know what love is. I never replaced any girl with another. Its not like i have a new "dreamgirl" or a new "love" every couple month... I liked many girls before. Many of them where just hot. But this particular girl is completely different (to me) and my feelings for her are way more than just "Aww your´re so cute, please like me so i can fuck you".

Thanks man!

No they are not. Don't be an idiot, you hardly know this girl.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Alright, I just read some of your other posts...your situation is not special or weird or unusual. It's just classic one-itis. As much as you'd like to think so, you really don't know anything about this girl. You don't know how she likes to be held. You don't know what she tastes like. You don't know how to push her buttons or how to piss her off. You don't know what her favorite after sex food is. You don't know how to break her barriers. All you really know are some basic facts about her past...the same pointless shit that all her facebook friends know. So no...she's not different. She's not special. She's not anything other than some chick at this point.
Um...really dude? You fell in love with a girl you didn't even know? That's not love. You're lucky she even gave you a chance after you wrote her the stalker letter.
You wanted to kiss her...then kiss her! Most girls don't like initiating the first kiss. It makes them feel like dirty sluts. Too late now, but you f'd that one all up. The attraction was there, and then you acted like a pussy bitch and ran away. She's left wondering, "Maybe he's gay."

No problem, all is not lost.
Okay good...I don't know what's wrong with this girl but it seems like you still have a chance. Either she's got some self-esteem issues, or you're a very attractive guy. Congrats!

7 months and no kiss...good god, man. By the way, when she says "confused" what she really means is "I would have liked that. And my legs would have opened up."
What you NEED to do now, is stop texting her. Stop doing the small talk thing. Stop trying to flirt with her through text...that shit never works. Smileys? Really?!?! The only reason why she hasn't kicked you to the friend zone yet is that she's probably not talking to any other guys right now.

End contact for about a week. Since you work together, you need to stay extra busy at work. She'll start wondering what she did wrong.

Then, after you've let her stew on that for awhile. You need to meet up with her. You can text to set up a meeting. Don't ask. Tell her. Text something like, "We should talk." She'll reply with something like, "Okay, about what?" Then you say, "Let's meet at your place tonight at 8." And that's it. No more contact with her!!

Show up at 8:15. Wear your lucky t-shirt. And don't be all awkward. As soon as she opens the door, just grab her and pull her in for a kiss. If she likes it, keep doing it. I'd say there's a 20% chance that you lose v-card that night, so bring a couple condoms with you (you should be carrying these all the time, anyway).

Alright, there's a chance that the kiss will be weird or you'll fuck it up somehow...if that happens, do not apologize, just say, "I really needed to get that out of my system. Thank you." Then lighten it up and escalate so you can try again.

You really need to convey the message that you will not be friends with her. This is so important. She either sleeps with you, or you're gone. Being friends is not even an option.

WOW!!
That was really helpful!! I mean really. Thanks a lot

Only problem is she lives at her parents house, same situation at my place... So thats not going to happen. But the rest was brilliant!
Even though i have to admit that its going to be difficult for me not to text her anymore. Because at the end of the day the only reason why im texting her is to set up a new date every time...But i did this before (not texting her anymore) and it usually takes about 4-5 days until SHE starts wondering and texting me again.

Only thing i take really personal:
Sorry man but thats not true. I mean of course i dont know all the sexual stuff she likes but there is more about a person that just that! I wouldnt say everything i know about her (her past, her feelings, her emotions her plans, her life) is pointless...

But again:
Awesome response!! Gonna try it like that!

I guess most guys on this forum have been in a some kind similar situation as you at some point. I sure was. What i learned from it was, if you don't escalate fast enough and let time pass, as in your case 7 months, even if you get together at some point, it will be super weird. The thing is, girls like confident men. And what you've shown with being her "friend" but actually being in love with her, is that you are a wuss. I don't mean to insult, i'm just trying to set the facts straight. I mean, i've been there, done that.

The best thing you can do is man the fuck up. Show her you got balls, don't be just another guy friend. I really don't get it, why she's still giving you attention, but i mean, do you really think she will still think of you if she meets a guy who has his shit together? I don't think so. Who cares if she said she doesn't want a relationship YET. The shit that they say doesn't really matter. Girl talk about bad boys and say they don't like it, and then the next minute they fuck one in the back of the car. Focus more on the emotions, not so much on the words.

The problem in your situation is that you cut your balls off and put them in a plastic bag and put them in her hands to hold them for you. The ball is in her court. She knows you like her and that's ok, but the problem is you didn't make any move. You're waiting for her to suddenly fall in your laps.

Maybe there's still some hope you can save this, but you gotta step up your game. You should try to make some kind of a move or next her. No girl is special, believe me. You just think she is, because she's a girl who's giving you attention after some period of dryness. The thing is, if you had 10 hot girls texting you everyday, she might not even be your top choice. That's the problem with scarcity. We don't think objectively. What i started doing is, if i really like one girl, i game as many girls as possible at that time, because you're attitude is completely different, if you are texting 5 girls or just texting with that one girl, and replying withing seconds and desperately waiting for the net text.


just my 2 cents.

Thanks man!
Some very true words!
The problem for me personally is just to understand this behavior. I mean if she likes me (what i know she does and she said it very often!) why doesnt SHE text ME? I mean as a logical thinking person i assume that you want to contact or spend time with a person you really like. Thats why i text her all the time. And if she doesnt text me i automaticly assume that she doesnt like or want me anymore. Or that im just someone you can spend time with when you dont have anything better to do...

But of course i get what you are saying. Why would she text me? She knows exactly that i WILL text her every day usually. And even if i dont text her for 2-3 days she knows that there is no need for her to worry. But like i said after 4-5 days she usually starts texting me again and asks if everything is alright.

So here is what im planing to do:

I will arrange another date with her (we always do this via text)
Once the date is set, i will stop texting her.
ON the date i will escalate Kino like crazy following this awesome guide:
majik-s-guide-to-kino-escalation-vt163160.html

Once i touch her face (which i did a million times before actually...) i will just kiss her.Fuck this shit now. I will just fucking try it!
If she lets me kiss her... i dont know what to do honestly :d
If she rejects, i will not get angry or sad or upset. I will just try it again later or accept it.

What do you think? Is that okay? Anything i should do or say on this date? Any more tips or advice? I was actually thinking about making her a bit jealous with another girl (on the phone or some) but im a bit concerned that this might piss her off... She is usually quite pissed when i look at other girls on the street or something