fiance says we need to take a big step back...



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:25 pm 
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I agree with Themagicalone, Dr. Jones, DeepBluesy, Hobbit, and In$tinct.

A major symptom of non-commitment is starting fights for absolutely no reason. And now that the wedding day is getting closer, the symptoms are getting more severe since it's slowly sinking in that she's about to get married. Subconsciously, she doesn't want to get married. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.

However, I don't necessarily advise running right away. What I advise is to simply be the first to postpone the wedding (do so when she picks the next fight). I bet she'll be really shocked to hear that, but it'll be effective. If you love the woman and want to be with her, you need to change your game. You are letting her run around like a boss. In reality, you're the boss who is providing for her and her two children. And you let her treat you like that? You need to go dig out your testicles from her purse.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:30 pm 
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This woman sounds extremely irrational. Could there be a biophysical cause? Hormones? Depression? Medicines?

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:29 pm 
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When I mention "shit tests" I was not basing that opinion on any PUA bullshit. I came from being MARRIED!

Essentially, these interactions between you and your wife/girl are used to establish the dominance hierarchy between you. Why does it matter? Because she doesn't want to have sex with someone that's beneath her; she's not going to be attracted.

It's that simple.

Some do it more than others, true. BUT they all do! And always will.

And one of the biggest ones they pull especially when emotionally maxed is the "Unreasonable test" wherein EVERY thing that comes out of her mouth seems unreasonable and ridiculous!

One poster said "Use your brain!" Why? they are not! They are doing it on a instinctive, subconscious level.

Now as to your choice of marring HER or not?

Re-read what all posters had to say, specifically Hobbit.

Good luck.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 1:00 am 
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So I got home last night...didn't say a word about any of it...fucked her speachless, and...I woke up to breakfast cooked for me, a lunch made for work, and a happy girl...seems all's well...who knows about the wedding...i'm sure it won't take long, and she'll be back to planning. oh, and the ring's still on her finger...all a big shit test...or what one of my friends referred to as pussy angst. hahhaha
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Threads like this make me sad. Because it's so obvious this relationship/marriage is going to end in a train wreck, yet my fellow forum go-er still charges full steam ahead. Hopefully this relationship will be the exception and not the rule. Screwing up this decision badly results in a life of baggage. And it seems it is going to be bad. :(

And what is even worst? Many of the replies think it's a "Shit Test" and don't realize what is really going on. PUA really screws with people, man. You guys need to forget that stuff in relationships. It's bad for you
Hobbit . . . nice to see you're checking the site once in a while.

^Agree 100%.

Although . . . this reminds me of a buddy who asked me for advice about buying a boat. The guy sent me pictures, manuals, etc . . . I sent him 2 pages of "WHY YOU MUST NOT BUY THIS BOAT". Hull delaminations, useless cuddy, carpet in the cockpit, untreated plywood under the cockpit, plastic thru-hulls, stern drive in salt water, etc . . . Of course the guy bought the boat anyways . . . of course he can't give people enough money to haul that piece of shit away. Of course he's trying to huck it to a common friend. Of course I am telling that common friend to run. Of course all of this would have happened any ways.

It seems some of us persevere to carry baggage.


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