Hey guys. I was with my girlfriend for 8 months. I basically did everything wrong. I "gamed" her perfectly from the start, was "alpha" and we had a great relationship for many months. The first mistake I made was that i was too trusting. We spent way too much time together and I ended up moving in with her around the 4 month mark. It was all downhill from there, as her real personality started to show it's self. She became lazy, immature, irresponsible and moody/nasty. I also started to notice her lying about insignificant things.

Anyway i tried to stick it out, putting the small lies down to her been under a lot of pressure with me living with her. After two months I left because she basically told me too. She didn't expect me to do it, she thought she could threaten me to get what she wanted. So I left the house the next day and moved back home. We worked through some issues and things were better living apart for the remainder of the relationship.

However she started going through my phone and facebook, which made me feel very disrespected. She accused me of many things and basically she pushed me away. Her response to me saying i need space and moving out was to go out drinking at every opportunity, not pay rent and get evicted from her home.

She moved into her new place at the start of May and i helped her move in. I found out she went through my phone again and i told her i needed space. She then started disapearing for whole days and nights. Leaving our puppy we got together alone at the house for 24 hours. Not answering calls etc. She made up many excuses, saying she was in hospital, blah blah blah. But it happened around three times and I called it quits after i started to suspect something was going on.

So we officially split up last week. I tried to go no contact but it was difficult. We remained in some contact. My main worry was that she always threatens suicide. And i found out she has seriously attempted it before. So i tried to be mature and keep somewhat of a friendship, even if it was incredibly one sided. I then heard from her best friend that for the last two weeks of our relationship she'd been fucking another guy. Which prompted me to contact her and tell her i knew about it, and to never contact me again. I said some rough stuff in anger that i regret, but nothing she didn't deserve and need to know.

Now on the Thursday just gone. She contacts me saying her friend is lying, she always had a thing for me and is trying to get with me. Could be true, her friend has now sent me naked pictures and wants to meet. My ex told me that she was drinking whisky and she'd already taken 15 pills and was looking for more, and she is trying to cut her self.

I'm a nice guy and couldn't ignore that. I told her I was coming over, and if she doesn't answer the door i'm calling an ambulance. I got there, took her to the hospital but she refused to go in. Told me if i left her she would finish the job and she's going to do it again in the future if it doesn't work. So i ended up staying with her. She said she wanted me back, misses me, misses my family, the cheating rumor is a lie. We ended up sleeping together, stupidly. She also tried to stop me from going on two dates this weekend saying, if you don't go on them, we could probably work this out.

90% of me knows that she's doing this to force me to speak to her/ meet with her or get my attention, and she wouldn't really kill her self. But there's that 10% that knows she is damaged, depressed and has attempted suicide in the past and there's always a chance.

The next day after we sleep together, it's the usual story. She's going to see a girlfriend. She finds some reason to be mad at me (me telling her mother she attempted suicide), then ignores me for the remainder of the weekend. When undoubtedly she is with this other dude. Her ex-friend tells me she's still seeing the guy.

How do I handle this? I have no definitive proof she cheated. I could quite easily maintain a friendly relationship, or even try to be friends with benefits, but she's acting too volatile, and whenever she reels me in she ignores me as soon as we get anywhere and disappears. Is complete no contact the only way? What if she attempts something again? Can i play her at her own game? My head is all over the place and i literally have no idea how to handle this, and it's affecting how i am around other girls and i know she's doing this intentionally.

If she is as thrashy as you say - lying all the time, being lazy and indifferent and what not, and if she threatens to use that knife herself, I would go with Virgil: Cut off, Disappear. As can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHYaZFty5Gg

Hope she is equally effective with the knife.

Yeah............

Get away from her as quickly as you can. Meaning as fast as your Nikes can take you....

That is the type of girl who is going to try and fuck up your whole life.

this SCREAMS "BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER".
I've dated a much milder BPD than the one you describe here. Also dealt with her suicide threats, attempts, etc. She doesn't want you. She just doesn't want to be the one to lose you either. BPDs have extreme fear of abandonment, and routinely threaten suicide when you try to leave. In the end, if you don't leave her, she will leave you anyways, and soon. As Magikal said, buy a pair of nikes, and run for the hills. Delete/block her number/email/IM/etc. Run and don't look back. She'll make your life hell.

Thanks a lot guys.

I'm positive she has a lot of issues. Her life is in a constant state of disrepair and she's never truly happy and i believe she's the type that will never be on her own because she's so dependent on whoever she is with at the time. Then gets bored and moves on when a new prospect shows up. Like she's constantly trying to fill some void inside her.

Her dad left her when she was young, and all the time i've been with her he ignores her and pretends she doesn't exist. Should of been alarm bells ringing right then, thing is she wasn't particularly a freak in bed at all. Her mother is a loser as well. I contacted her letting her know her daughter is attempting suicide and i really shouldn't be involved and her mother ignored me and ignored her too.

I think the only reason we were together so long is because i fucked her so good. She still messages me for sex now, and ultimately i think that's why she pulled the whole suicide thing, to get me over there. She was touchy feely instantly.

Luckily i think i'm pretty much in a place that i can walk away and accept whatever happens. But it's so disheartening to have a girl trick you into believing she was a good person for 8 months. Don't think i'll be able to put my trust in anyone the same way again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline ... y_disorder
She has it.

BPDs don't really threat about commiting suicide, they'd rather hint it as part of their manipulative blueprint.
But yes, you ex has serious personality disorder issues.
You should simply get the hell out for good. You are not responsible for her actions. You duty is to find happiness for yourself .
Just remove her from your life and walk away for your own sake.

Thanks guys. She's going to make it difficult, but i'll try to cut all contact.

Worst thing is we got a puppy together and she's disappearing for 24 hours or even 48 hours and leaving the poor thing on it's own.

She doesn't give a fuck about it, it was just another impulse thing she needed to make her happy at that time, yet she won't let me take it, since it's another thing that ties us together.

:O

Don't waste your time analyzing her. She's messed up and will ruin your life. Cut all ties. If the dog is yours and you can take it legally, get it from her in a nice way and disappear. If you can't then sad to say, screw it.If she hurts herself that's not your responsibility.

To whom it may concern
I came across this somewhere else, it's an enlighting read about BPD behavior.
http://www.shrink4men.com/2013/05/29/ab ... -part-one/

I have to say, this doesn't look like typical BPD behavior... Also BPDs don't have a rulebook and a game plan. They're not intentionally malicious. They're just fucked in the head and are guided by constantly changing extreme emotions and an unstable sense of self worth. Basically they're hyperemotional, and they don't even understand it. They do practice extreme push-pull, but wikipedia's overview of BPD is much less charged and in my experience, more accurate of their behavior patterns. I also hate to say it, but a BPD can be managed/kept in check with proper conditioning.
This link is textbook sociopath behavior. They literally sit down and draw up plots like this in their mind, and they're infinitely worse than BPDs. I dated a BPD and a sociopath (different people). The BPD was a ray of sunshine compared to the psycho. You cannot win against a sociopath because they're hardly human, and if you try, they'll own you hard (think Cartman and the chili contest). A BPD is very hard to leave, because they truly are hurt and their world comes crashing down when they lose someone. There's no difficulty in leaving a sociopath the moment you get wise to it. I have pity for BPDs. They're miserable, damaged people, and I wish them all recovery (it happens for many with age and stability). I never pity sociopaths. They are closer to being malicious robots than they are human.

PS. I dated a sociopath for ~2 months. I never let her get close enough to be able to hurt me, and I peaced out when I wised up. The BPD I dated (for years) hurt me BAD, but a lot of it was because I didn't know how to handle one, and I realize that she didn't do it out of malice, just her own weakness.

Okay, good advices here about buying a pair of nikes and running for the hills, however the following may not be overlooked!

-------> Cut Off - Cut Off! - Disappear - Here I am - Cut Up! - Cut Up! - Shred - Disappear - Here I am - Cut Up! --> Cut Off, Cut Off, Here I Am, Cut Up! --- EVISCERATE --- EVISCERATE --- EVISCERATE ! --- RITUAL OF THE KNIFE ---

When that shit is done, even Jack the Ripper should be jealous.

I began to think she was a sociopath during the last three months. She began to have zero guilt for any lies she told and any actions. If she ever showed guilt or remorse for anything she did, it felt like it was fake to get what she wanted at that particular moment.

I didn't read everything; just the first 3 paragraphs and the last.

I've been with several girls who threatened suicide (and a few wanted me dead) when it was time for me to say goodbye. Before, I didn't know how to cut clean with the most minimum problems and/or issues. This is no longer an issue. How?

Give her a token gift before you leave.


There's a science to this and a good explanation why it works. I just don't feel like digging up the scientific journal in my files right now. This shit works; I just can't tell you the whys right now.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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