Hey fellas

My relationship with my girlfriend (about a month in) is in danger of slipping away. Shes usually very needy, but I dont mind since it helps me think better of myself. However, something has happened over these past few days...

We were hanging out and she tried to kiss me. I backed off telling her I will only kiss her if she says what I want to hear (I love you). Shes said it once before but I always push her into saying it, and she gets all shy and blushes and tells me shit like 'you know I do, but I just cant really say it yet' Anyways, I got pissed off and basically told her to go back to her friends.

Fast forward next day, and I sit with the group again without paying any attention to her. Then without warning I ask her if she wants to go somewhere (she always says yes) but this time she said no. I could tell she was pissed at me from yesterday. Then she goes the whole day ignoring me.

I went full AFC and left her a bunch of messages and shit, and she responded by telling me '(a mutual friends name) told me you never want to speak to me again...' (this part is true, I lost my temper at a certain point) Im thinking of calling and apologizing, as it is (although to a certain extent, she isnt 100% innocent) my fault.

So Ive gone from being alpha to the bitchy AFC in a space of a few days. The question is: can I still salvage all this? Can it be saved? If so, what should I do?

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Is this alpha? I think not. You should help yourself to feel better about yourself. External validation has no value. Work on your inner game, mate.
is this alpha? Again, I think not. You don't have to push her to say "I love you" that's just needy, see point above. All you have to do is to make her want to say "I love you" on her own.
Seriously? Think again. Being an alpha and mimicking an alpha are two different things, one comes from a place of neediness, one comes from confidence.
If you want to save this, then you have to back off for a while, soft next her. This may or may not work, depending on how much of an AFC you were and what other options she has.

Work on your inner game and don't care so much about external validation. An alpha knows he is the shit, he doesn't really care what other think of him as he IS the shit.

Thanks for the reply fugs.

Yea youre right, my inner game has been 'shaky' to say the least these days. I have no idea why I pressure her into saying that she loves me, total bitch move on my part.

I enjoy the validation from girls, I mean who doesnt? Seeing them drool all over you, it feels nice to be honest (maybe because in my pre PUA days, I had fantasized about this, so Im making up for lost time )

I doubt I have been too much of an AFC (gamed her like a fucking pro, had kiss closed her within 2 hours) but I throw around the odd beta male behavior here and there.

Im gonna try and soft next her for a few days, see what happens. Shes madly in love with me (I can tell) and I honestly get shivers the way she stares at me, like Im the best thing since orange juice. So I doubt shes gonna let the relationship die out. If so, then Ill fuck her friend (who is totally down for it )

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Everyone enjoys validation from chicks, but at some point you get used to it, it seems normal, as it should be.
We all slip now and then. Catch yourself while doing it change that behaviour. It's not a biggie as long as it doesn't happen often.
I wouldn't do that to somebody who loves me. It's pointless to hurt the girl because YOU threw a beta fit. Assume responsibility. To fuck her friend out of spite is still a bitch move and comes from a place of neediness.
However, if you want to fuck the her friend because she's more attractive to you, then hell yes, go for it.

^

But seriously dude, if I was to soft next her and all goes well, Ill just act as if nothing happened? What should I do if she asks me why this all happened?

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Yes, down play it like it's not a big deal.
If she asks, deflect it, make up some bullshit reason like your imaginary dog had diarheea, you cat got stuck in the toilet, or that you have pms, whatever you think it's funny. As long as you dont give her some logical reason. But keep it light and funny.
By doing so you will send a powerful message: you cannot be fazed, drama doesn't work on you. She will, most likely, drop it.

I say this with no disrespect intended, but this sounds like 16 yr old stuff. If you're not in high school, take a step back and improve yourself before relationship.

You were always a bitchy afc, you just faked being alpha. Your girl want's to kiss you and you make her say I love you first?!

whatta dummy.

Harshly put by poster above, but true. It was a beta fit. Work on your inner game, mate.
Having girls fawning over you is a sign that you're on the right track. When you see it as a normal occurence, you're getting closer.

Yeah, you're making a girl say I love you after one month. That signals that after 1 month you enjoy hearing lovey dovey stuff which is...beta.

Appreciate all the replies, thanks fellas.

Yea, I have only been in PUA for less than 6 months now, so obviously Im still learning bit by bit. And theres no way Im going to say that I havent acted beta, I fully admit that I have. To be honest, when I review some of my past actions, its pretty fuckin pathetic.

So my inner game isnt up to scratch. How can I improve this aspect? I have been using the theory that 'all girls want me' (forgot what this is called exactly) and my success rate has shot a thousand fold, its unbelievable. My outer game is decent, but inner game (as it would seem) is bad.

Im just going along with the 'fake it till you make it' idea. Is this good?

Also, should I ignore my girlfriend for the next couple of days, and see what happens?

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Tough love. Fake it till you make it is a band-aid solution. What you need to realize is that you can show vulnerability without being needy. If you like the girl, make your moves like a man should, but if she's not interested move on with a smile. Being attractive is about being honest in your intentions, showing vulnerability and not being needy. That's a very simplified definition if you will.

I think for your girlfriend just meet up with her , go out, be yourself and enjoy each others company.

Thanks for the feedback Mak

I have a whole summer coming up to work on my inner game. That should be cool.

As for my girlfriend, I think in this particular situation I will stick to fugs advice on a soft next. Like I said before, her behavior irritates me (says the dumbest shit sometimes, gets depressed for no reason, etc.) and I think a period of no contact will have her running back to me.

Shes usually really needy (used to call me once a day to check up on me) but as of the past couple of days hasnt done anything. She has her best friend who is a playerette thats probably feeding her advice and telling her to make me chase after her. Ahh, I can envision it in my minds eye as I type

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Thank you so much Hobbit

These links are really helpful, I will give them a go when my exams finish. I also have Tony Robbins Awaken The Giant Within lying around (read like 20 pages last year) so I will also give that a go.

Yea, I enjoy constructive criticism, I dont let my ego get in the way. My mission is to learn, otherwise I would have never subscribed to this forum in the first place.

Cheers everybody!

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen