To make a long story short I've known a girl for about 6 years. 6 years ago I was 17 and she was 14. Apparently (i didn't know this at the time but wouldn't have dated her anyway) she had the biggest crush on me. Deleted me off facebook to get over me.

We met up a couple times but never had the opportunity to hook up because she moved to the other side of the country. At the time I didn't kiss her because I Felt like it would create feelings that couldn't be acted upon if we were long distance. Looking back the least I could have done was kiss her. I am learning.

Kept up contact, noticed that my neediness would be punished. If I texted too much, she'd ignore me. Learned to deal with it by ignoring her and making strategic facebook comments to make her miss me. She gave me her number and I tried setting up a call a couple weeks later. I was in her city for a weekend and told her I was coming... her reaction was super enthusiastic, i figured i was in there.

While I was there I again was retarded and never made a move. I actually was literally seconds away from making a move when her roommate came back to the apartment (Very small apt., no privacy, we were never alone, I should have forced the issue, another faux pas). I Could tell she was pissed because he not only cockblocked me but blocked her too, she wanted me big time at that point =\ Before then she was touching me like crazy and even rubbed her chest against my back, and layed down on the floor. I laid next to her and was seconds away from kissing her, was totally going to do it.

I leave a few days later and when I do I kiss her on the cheek. Something I don't normally do, she knows me well enough to know that.

Now the pitfall is when I left she looked super sad. It's a look I'd seen before, when she was younger and we met up once and I was soooo high and just kinda said "Hey" to her and wandered off, she was pissed. Also when I was at that bar, she wanted to talk to me but I was oblivious and drunk as fuck. I kept thinking about her and how WHAT IF SHE DOESNT KNOW I LIKE HER... idiot

Talked to friends about it and in hindsight they gave me the absolute worst possible advice ever. Should have known at the time. But they said tell her how you feel.

Told her I really liked her (on the phone), I really care about her, she's special to me, I'd do anytihng to make her happy... =( So bad

Since then I haven't really heard from her. She did say some stuff that is generally the kind of stuff someone says to you when they plan on stringing you along (I'll be home in a month, let me know if you're coming to my city soon, I'm not ready for a relationship, I have to sort some things out). I also said stuff like "I really like you but I know you have stuff going on right now..."

The thing is though, yes it's a long distance thing and yes I fucked up bad. HOWEVER I seem to possess qualities she can't seem to let go of. I'm a drummer and professional video game player (no I'm not kidding) and she's a nerd too (so cute though) and likes metal. So I think this is salvageable. We also have mutual friends (who think the world of me) so it's likely I'll be in contact. Since this convo though I had only sent one text (Before I TRULY realized how big a mistake I made) and that was 4 days ago - 8 days since i called her. Have heard nothing from her since.

What can I Do though? What's the strategy. When I am in person I do fine. I flirt, I make eye contact, I'm confident, I lead, I REALLY know she likes me. And with the new knowledge at hand, I am NOT going to be afraid to make a move on her like I was previously. But when I'm away from her I'm such an AFC. It's terrible. But man did I ever learn my lesson... Problem is I don't want to lose her though. I'm not down for "let's stay friends" AT all and I don't want it to stay awkward. Ideally, I'd like to at least have sex with her and when and if the distance can be done away with we could try a legit relationship. We get along so well. and I Was the one to screw it up here.

She'll be home in a month and I'm sure I'll see her but want to do it right. What can I do in the interim and what strategies can I use when I see her again? Thanks for any feedback.

In the meantime though I also had that dumb idea that "I'll wait for her..." But no getting other girls is a super smart thing to do. In the meantime I just make facebook posts I know she'll see about all the cool shit I'm doing (because I am always doing something fun). LMK Guys. Thanks.

Its true, by saying" I really like you but I know some stuff is going on..." ect, you handed her the baton, so to say. You've run your part of the race and now its time to see if she can be bothered to run her part...

Have you ever looked into Online Game? Online Game can be transferred easily to Text Game, it's virtually the same thing. If you try and use some online game strategies/ routines maybe that don't sound too unlike your usual personality that perhaps you could peak her interest and make her excited and needing to see you again. What is the next time you'll be going back there? After text gaming her it might be easier to progress things further in person.

I HATE the term YOLO (you Only Live Once) but unfortunately it is true...

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

Here we go again.

She is your ONEITES! You are so deep in in the "Friend Zone" that you are wearing blinders to what surrounds you!

She offered her self up to you like, what three times? And you did nothing.

You blamed it on, cock-blockers, intoxication, saving HER feelings over distance.

Then you turnaround and profess your unyielding love and devotion to her, WTF?

Who the fuck is this girl? Princess Ariel, the untouchable virgin?

It's not that she "Has to much stuff going on right now." It's because she wants a Man.

NOT a needy mouse. And Bro you were needy as fuck. FUCKING STOP THAT SHIT TODAY!

Neediness is a desperate need for affection.
The extreme need for affection that will cause a person to take someone else's spouse, sleep with the same sex, bang an HB6 or lower, or engage in masturbation.
To be needy is a guy who needs attention no matter what the cost. A person that doesn’t have much confidence and will bug the living shit out of some poor girl just for a little attention. They are always suspicious, aggravating and generally become an AFC.
Needy is desperate, plain and simple!
This is caused by the more common affliction, Lackapussy,
Lackapussy:
Translation from Hawaii. Lack of sexual activity among males.
Im suffering from LACKAPUSSY.
A frequent and sometime fatal disease, its causes are lack of use of the male organs resulting in extreme neediness, hairy palms, and wheezing.

The combinations of these two problems WILL compound each other, causing you to give up the male persona.
The only known remedy is YOU!

Signs of Neediness:
1. Buying gifts.
2. Romantic gestures.
3. Expressing your desire.
4. Doing “favors” without reciprocation.
5. Chasing.
6. Over calling/text messaging. (no more than 1 to 1) EVER!
7. Professing your love.

Do you know why women like the “bad guys”? Because they are the opposite of being needy. They don’t care about the girl. They might not answer her phone calls. They might come 50 minutes late for a date.
If you think about it for a second, how can a man be completely in love with a woman that he’s just met? And even if you dated her a few times, you hardly even know her. That’s exactly what women think about needy men. “He doesn't even know me… Why does he call me so much? He must be some loser”.
Calling a girl again and again, leaving her messages, sending flowers, telling her that they can’t sleep without seeing her. This is completely insane! But many men still do this.
Showing neediness only makes women like you less. So if a girl starts losing interest in you, behaving needy is not the solution.

The reason why girls hate guys that are needy is because girls are attracted to MEN. Being needy is a characteristic of a child not a man. A Guy who acts like a child (needy) “is asking" a girl to treat you like a mother and girls hate that. Women want a man that can lead them into wonderful experiences. Women want a man that can make them feel beautiful, sexy, fun, safe, excitement, desire, attraction, all at the same time, regardless of age, income, or looks. A woman has to surrender to you in order for these things to happen. How do you expect her to do this if you are the one acting needy? How do you make her feel all these amazing emotions if you're the needy one? A real man has to be a leader. Then women will follow you. When YOU are a leader then the needy ones will come to you. So when a woman needs love and intimacy she will not only like and want you, she will have to stand in a long line.
Women want a strong man who is confident and independent.

In order to ever win this girl over, you MUST be willing to let her go.

NOTwait for her! Take off the blinders, and pursue all the other girls standing around WANTING to fuck you.

Yes, they are there.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

thanks for the advice guys. really appreciate it.

yes, i know i blew it. really hoping i can turn this around.

i'll try some of the things you guys said. but yeah i know mainly that the idea is to let her go and go after more girls. that way i don't have to act so emotionally all the time and can actually use my head instead of be a big ol bitch.

edit: oh and i'll see her in a month. i don't know when i'll be in her town next but she'll be in mine for a week in a month.

^^ Your case is like the same as the next 2000000 afc's. Your fortunate Heywood took the time to break it down real nice.

Woo go you. Seriously- If a girl isn't worth the hassle, then don't hassle. I learned that one the hard way!

_________________
If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

Thanks man!

Yeah and I understand my situation is familiar territory. The idea here is though that losing this girl who I genuinally like not just romantically but as a person as well is inspiring me to change my terrible behavior.

Worst part is I remember when I was younger girls would go after me like this and I'd lose interest. I used to blame myself for it too. But really that's not my problem, it's more a psychological thing that takes place in the subcOnscious. And what I've really learned is that if you dont put effort into keeping a girl interested in you and they remain interested you will lose interest. So many of the principles like push pull, value, freeze outs, I understand perfectly now.

AFC behaviour sucks so bad. The reason why is it always seemed like the RIGHT thing to do... Be nice to a girl, tell her how you feel about her, etc... And everyone (irl) advice has always been AFC behaviour. EVEN IF I did do that and the girl liked me, I would stop liking her. That shit is not the basis for ANY successful relationship.

Thanks for replying. Most people on another site I tried just told me what I SHOULD have done and not what I COULD do.

Also I understand this kind of thread is against the ToS so it can be locked. Sorry, I'm still new.


Right now my plan is to get a couple personal things taken care of (moving, job) and meet other girls. As far as a potential meeting with this girl goes I won't pursue it unless I am invited out which is likely. I'll keep reading around to learn up on other techniques. Thanks again.