am a medical student. I had the option of doing my clinical rotations in the states or eastern europe. I choose to do them in eastern europe. because for the past 8 months i have been talking with a girl that i was introduced through a friend. we talked online for 5 months, and than i finally decided i would move to europe so i can start a relationship with her. She was telling me she was enthralled to see me and couldnt wait this that. So i arrive 3 months ago we go on our first date everything is ok She pretty mch begged to meet. Than we didnt meet or like a week and i saw her at the club. All she said was hi to me and ignored me. I was kind of shocked. I got mad at her and it was never the same. she had a very bad past with her ex bf. I thought I would try every hard to get with her. Cause i only came back for her. She told me she needed some space. We still talked everyday and even met up last week. Than sunday she tells me she is dating an a guy for 3 months. WTF SHould i do? I am intelligent, but i guess not when it comes to this kind of stuff. I wrote her a letter and she responded to say it she only has feelings as friendship. i am so angry.
I am in intelligent man. Like i admit i got mad at her when she ignored me at the club and than it kind of just changed. i guess i showed lower value or desperation, but she continued to flirt online. I wrote her a two page letter telling her how i feel and she responded basically like i said she just wanted to be friends. But i was mad cause i asked her so many times do you have a boyfriend from when we started to talk even up to a month ago and she said no. so thats what makes me angry. I have a career at stake this is not some kind of joke you know what i mean. Problem is i love the girl.

The letter I wrote to her below: I know i probably fucked up. She tells me she loves the other fucker who shes been dating for 3 months. PUA help me out. I have been following mystery and style ideas through process.
"Dear -----,

I'm writing to you because it's too hard for me to say things to you directly without being overcome with emotions to say things. I never really like talking to a person on facebook. I like to talk face to face. I wanted to make sure my mind was clear before I spoke too you again. I wish you understood. Almost eight months ago you stole my heart. And when I say that I mean You Stole. You literally stole my heart.

I was rocked to my core, and everything in my life that
mattered was not important to me as much as you were to me. It was weird never happened to me before. I understand that you do not feel the same way and And I get it, life happens. It's unfair and illogical. Things don't always make sense. I am just unsure to tell you the truth if I fell in love with the idea of who you are, or actually who you are. Its kind of crazy that I have so much of an emotional connection with you and we did not even date. It makes sense though because we talked for 2 or 3 hours a day for the past 8 months. We spent a lot of our free time talking. I wish I realized the signals early on that you were not interested, but it is what it is. I don’t know I always felt you gave me signals you were interested and you always told me you had no boyfriend. How you were so excited about me coming to Poland? Right now I am confused because I feel like I was used for information and I was never really a friend or anything to you. I did not even get simple text to say you were not coming to the cinema? All this stuff makes me think now! I always tried to do my best to be kind, loving and sincere to you and I never lied to you once. I never wanted anything from you. I just wanted to build a relationship with you and I was willing to wait as long as it took.



I could be so mad at you for the pain you put me through. I could use my pride to drive me to never speak to you again, but what good would that do? It takes more energy to hate than it does to love. Life is far too short to be stubborn or hold grudges. The truth is I like you and miss the way we used to talk in the begininig.

I don't miss you under the title of a girlfriend, a friend, an
acquaintance, or even a polish girl I know. I just miss you. I may be replaceable in your life, but you are forever irreplaceable in mine.

You are such an amazing person who was able to bring so much joy and happiness into my life--I can't imagine that that part of you could so quickly disappear .

It breaks my heart that we aren’t together, but I understand that a relationship of any kind is a commitment and joint effort on behalf of two people. It involves open and honest communication. If you can’t give that to me, then there really is no point dwelling on it. I just feel that you were never completely honest with me. I felt you were manipulative in the entire situation. What you told me for the past eight months is completely different from what your actual behavior is? I was always under the impression you were a type of woman that respected yourself and would only be with guys that you had a future with. I was completely blind sighted today from what you told me how you could be with a guy knowing there is no future? Is that not a waste of time? You should think hard about it! You are a great woman and I hope you respect yourself. I don’t think you are evil, but naive? I am a man and I take full responsibility for my actions and always blame myself. I should have never opened up so much to you and trusted you. That was my big mistake.

I was never sure if I make you feel uncomfortable or if it is just as emotionally difficult for you as it can be for me, but not talking about the issues simply
won't make them go away. I thought you needed some space to get over your ex-boyfriend so I thought I would give you that. You told me you were not interested in getting back to him because of the fact there is no future, and you wanted to build a future with somebody. What you told me today makes me look at you so differently? I am kind of shocked. Because you really have no future with an Arab! You always told me you did not believe in wasting time. All I know is today god has slapped me with the truth and I thank him for it. I will tell you as a friend so do not take it the wrong way. In 6 months, 1 year or maybe even two years you will understand what I am talking about. How important it I to use your time wisely, because time is the most precious thing. I think you are making the same mistake again.

The only reason why I alienated myself from you the past month was because I wanted to give you your space. I am sure you know how much I care about you. I will not beg anybody to be with me. I deserve someone that loves me for who I am and sees the good person I am. Everything happens for a reason I always did everything in my power to protect you. I heard so much about you and I always tried my best to protect you and give you the correct guidance. I always believed you over what others told me, but today I question everything.

I was never scared of getting hurt by you. I do not know why Mitra ever told you that. I was willing to risk everything for you. This process has taught me a lot. In doing so, I grew as a person and realized what really mattered in my life. I figured out why I was so guarded, upset, and mad. All I can say is I want to spend time with you and see where it goes. I feel that we go through these robotic maneuvers. I sometimes wonder what the true obstacles are thatstand between you and me. It’s a cycle and I want to break it. Think about it and provide me with some clarity. I will be here for 3 weeks and I might leave for good. We should meet in person and talk about it maybe? If you have no interest or reason to talk to me. Than all I can say is goodbye! What I really feel from the bottom of my heart:)"

As an intelligent man, and a future Dr. no less, you know sometimes things cannot be fixed.

This is one of those times.

Your letter will do, likely NOTHING! (possibly feel guilty for five minutes?)

You learned a huge lesson here.

Lick your wounds, an MOVE ON!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

yeah no doubt. lick your wounds and move on. Enjoy Europe while you are there and met some random chicks on the train when traveling to other parts of the country.

Appreciate the advise guys. I guess this process led me to the PUA community and I am loving it. I have read THE GAME and Mystery's book on social dynamics. Its crazy because i knew it was over, but i just continued and continued to pursue and not give up. And I am crazy enough to keep trying, but you hear it from the girls mouth, you know its over.

For your own good... Don't ever, ever, ever write a letter like that again.

Keep her emotions positive and your emotions pretty much non existant. Being non-reactive is one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess in a woman's eyes. Don't see it as a loss... See it as lesson learned.

Yeah I agree the letter was a huge mistake and a bad idea but you will learn from this and come back stronger.

You should be the one in control of your emotions. Sometimes I even deliberately start having sex with a girl regularly and I see how long I can last without getting attached to her emotionally. You need to be the one she looks up to, you walk somewhere, she follows. If she doesn't follow, cut her loose. Most of the time cutting her loose will make her want you more (scarcity is attractive). Writing a letter is better than texting, but its still weak beta behaviour. A phone call would've been better, a meeting would've been the best option.

The reason why I wrote the letter, because for months i kept it cool. Did not tell her at all how i was this into her. I had to get it off my chest even though it was wrong. It was like finally a relief to let her know. She replied saying that she only sees me as a friend and has no love interest. She said she never gave me a chance because when you dont feel it their is no reason to try. This is my fault because MYSTERY SAYS ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. The fact that she says she was never interested in me pisses me off because its a load of crap in my opinion and she sees me as a friend.
I waited a few more days and replied to her saying been very busy. I agree with your decision etc and I came accross some great news and how i would love to let her know sometime. She replied she respects me as a man and i hope I tell her soon. Its called the SECOND CHANCE LETTER EFFECT. The way I see it is I truly believe im alpha and I think she will dwell on it for sure. I am american born with a USA passport, she is a polish woman dating a SAUDI ARABAIN dude who has told her they have no future because they have this crazy system in their country how they can only marry in their tribes etc. So its funny because its like she knows its going to end, so its like shes in it for the sex. I am not happy about it. Deep down i tell myself keep it cool because she still wants to meet and the other dude will mess up and shell run back to me. BUt at this point its not even worth it, i got way to much career wise on the line for a girl who doesnt even know what she wants. She studies art history. It is what it is.

What angers me the most is I basically manipulated her to the point she would not go back with her ex,but opened the door for the other dude. I fell into the friends zone and I am not even a PUA and i know once your in the friends zone its impossible to get out. I know this sounds nuts, but im out here for 20 more days. My friends telling me just call her over and tell her you wanna bang her once really good and she might be down. Is it worth asking? or you think can back fire lol. hes like what do you have to loose lol nothing.

I love shit like this, hell yeah make it clear "sex only" be direct/forward!

"DTF?" Message works for me? I posted a SMS on this I'll hook you up.

sms-of-the-day-your-welcome-vt162484.html

You hate her guts but you want to put your dick in her guts? Nice.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

It's 2013 and Mystery is not the emperor of pickup. Sure he's better than your average dude at picking up hot chicks, but back in the day he had his weaknesses: suicidal tendencies, extreme vanity, really bad jealousy issues, childish tantrums, sobbing etc.

The problem here is you put all your effort into ONE girl you didnt really know and spent FIVE MONTHS chatting to her?? Read that again. Five months of your life spent on one girl you didn't even know? You fundamentally misunderstand the laws of attraction. By dedicating all that time to her, you are sending her the message that you have no other women interested in you, you have nothing better to do than sit chatting online for hours on end and that she has become your obsession, your hobby. Do you really think she needed to read your letter to know that you were obsessed with her? She probably built you up to be this impossibly perfect guy, then you showed up all needy and weird. Did you eye-fuck her when you met, did you touch her straight away, did you go in for the kiss after escalating physically? Did you take control or were you just politely waiting for her reactions to the situation? My guess is you were awkward as fuck and she friend zoned you because of it. Don't get defensive, this is a help forum and what you need here is a bit of tough love, a kick up the ass to make you man up and learn from your mistakes. The moment you start justifying why you acted a certain way or defending your mistakes, you won't learn. You will do this again and again, unless you accept you fucked up and learn why. Learn what it means to build up an abundance of women in your life. Learn what it means to stop being outcome dependent. Learn how to make a woman earn your affection by pleasing you sexually.

Right now you are sounding like so many guys I've met in the past "But I took her out on 3x dinner dates, she owes me sex!". Or in your case "But i dedicated all this time to her, 5 months, she owes me SOMETHING, right?" ... Women don't want to feel like their gift of sex to you is being bought, otherwise they might as well be prostitutes.

I agree with you 100 percent. My first date was a huge mistake I made every mistake in the book and that is why she friends zone me. I didnt even hold her hand or even kiss her on the cheek. It ended early as well. Kind of crazy but makes sense. My question to you is? If i had done everything correctly you think she would be with me now? Or was it a lost cause from the start? other question is do you think I have a chance too seduce her away from the guy shes dating. I am going to meet with her one more time. Any tips on seduction or attraction?

she texted me saying we should meet? What should i do? Say yes or no

Tell her you're not interested in being friends. You dont need to give a yes / no answer. Stop reacting to her suggestions, be a man, take the lead.

p.s. REMINDER: You are in Eastern Europe, there are hot women looking for western men everywhere, why waste your time on this girl? Seeing you with other women will make this girl jealous btw...

yeah just cant stop making mistakes. Today decided to tell her I will be free sometime this week, and than she never responded. I keep shooting myself in the foot. I am thinking from what it looks like I have to comeback for 6 weeks again, so do you think its wise as you said before. loose all contact until i get the alpha back and make a move again when i am back?