So I'm online dating, actually looking for a GF. Im 33, and dating women 24-34. At this point I pretty much just let them email or wink at me first so I know they are interested, because I have had such shitty luck. I'm on a run right now with 9 dates - and no second date...

The weird thing is, I lived on the other side of the country 2 years ago and did online dating: Date 1/Girl 1 - nothing, Date 2/Girl 2 - 2nd base, Date 3/Girl 3 - sex and meetings after too, Date 4/Girl 4 long-term GF. Im now in Florida, so all I can think is maybe geography is a HUGE factor too, wtf? Im about ready to move.

My pictures are super new, accurate and unflattering, profile totally accurate. I dress decent, new clothes, nice polo jeans etc.; I meet at very nice bars/restaurants, pay for everything. I am more introverted, but on dates I work hard and I keep things flowing, I ask questions, even if they are not interested I make jokes, I feel like my conversation is good. I do generally have about 3-4 beers - but that is over like 3 hours, the dates are long. I don't compliment the girls at all unless its a compliment on their career or achievement - not looks. I walk the girls back to their cars always and if I feel a brief eye connection I will usually kiss them, this is maybe 1/3 of my dates; just a brief kiss on the lips for 5 seconds or so, then I pull away, there is never a negative reaction by them for this.

I usually text the day after saying had a good time whatever, then ask them out by text 3 days later. They always text back to both texts usually! But then they disappear or I get something about them having to check their schedule at work, they later cancel with some excuse by text, etc.

What the hell am I doing wrong? Or even if nothing is wrong, what can I do to up my game on the date or after, etc.? Thanks guys.

1. Luck has nothing to do with it.
2. Are you exclusively online dating? If so, why?
3. How's your social group? Do you often go out with the guys?
4. What else is going on in your life?

Try to check my recent thread out, i got same issues.

I found out that im not giving them enough comfort. I just stand out like a creepy fuck, who only wants sex. I guess you got enough attraction(since you get numbers), but they dont trust you as a person or they dont trust your actions(what you are saying and are doing is not the same). You need to give a full picture of your person and everything needs to work together(so if they believe you are extrovert, you will lose points during the phone conversation, if not you are outgoing enough. If they are attracted to your sextalk, you will lose points if you not giving more. If your emotions isnt stable or if you are showing them too often - this is the critical one the way - you will by guarantee lose points). Small bits can screw everything up, so adjust your game and think about it, im sure you will find out, what you are doing wrong.

Thanks for the response; yeah, I agree its not luck, I'm screwing something up - or a friend once told me - maybe I need to up my game.

2. Yes, I only date online on match. I have poor skills at talking to people I don't know or haven't been introduced too - men or women for that matter. Once introduced, I feel I have dcent conversation skills, jokes, I keep conversations flowing, etc.

3. I have no social group here in Florida even though Iv'e been here years, I just work; my friends all live across the country. I'm not a social person at all and don't easily make friends.

4. I work a lot; other than going to the beach or working out I don't do any interesting activities or hobbies.

#3 I realize that is a negative that women may catch, they ask me what I like to do I tell them beach, I don't have many interests, etc.; however, two years ago when I had such good luck I was living with my friend so I guess they knew that fact and had a little social proof, and I had more hobbies there I told them about I guess.

Thanks. I don't think I'm creepy, I may come across as too nice if anything. I don't do any sex talk or even show any interest in them sexually on a first date - other than a kiss at the end. I do tend to come across as cold (I am cold), so not sure if women just need more of or someone who shows more touchy feely affection on the date or phone somehow?.. that could be an issue.

My second to last date this chick emailed me out of the blue, she was all about me; so I take her out nice restaurant, I only had two light beers so I could stay focused, I made sure not to talk too much, I asked her questions, generally I stayed reserved; we leave after, I walk her to her car, i don't even try to kiss as I was trying a more reserved approach this date; she then goes into this whole BS line about "well I had a really good time, I thought that went pretty well right?" I agreed, etc, stayed friendly. Then I text her day after, then I text her 3 days later to go out again - she says she has to check her schedule at work and will let me know - I never heard back

So my point is, Im not coming on too strong at all - this chick couldn't read me at all and got all self conscious with me trying to get me to agree it was a great date and all this. Im even 99% sure I could have kissed her, but I was trying a reserved strategy so I didnt. But her whole end of date spiel was BS, I think she had already wrote me off, she was just trying to boost her own ego maybe by getting me to show affection, kiss, agree the date was great, whatever - then she could feel good and blow me off. What do you guys think?

Alright . . . buckle up and I hope you have a sense of humor. Dude, you're a square. Would YOU want to date YOU? He who works, has no social life, no activities, no interests, and hangs out on the beach in a while? Add to that, you don't easily make friends and you're not social.

Are you sure you don't already know why the girls aren't into you?

The solution is simple. If your goal is to find a 'match', then stay on match.com. Eventually, you will find a girl who is into the hermit life and you two will live happily ever after. If your goal is to start living a life, then start living a life. You do not have to change your personality. You do not have to become some alpha beta leadership pua wannabe. You can be exactly who you are and involve yourself with the World around you. We're social beings and yet you are depriving yourself from the warmth of others; every time you go out on a date, you are in effect, inviting women to join you in the World of social depravity.

Thanks kasabi, I do have a sense of humor - don't be afraid to pull punches.

I should clarify that I do love hanging out with close friends, but I'm not social in that I enjoy hanging out with strangers or joining the local kayak club or whatever, Im not social like that. So that ends up being a catch22 in that how do you get new close friends.

I agree, I probably come across as boring in ways; I have hobbies - the problem is Iv'e lost ALL passion for anything in life really other than sleep, food, sun, working out. I simply have no passion to do any of my old hobbies. My ONLY real passion is women, its an obsession at this point to get a GF.

Btw, so what activities or clubs do you think a person has to be devoted to seem more attractive? I mean to what extent, what types?